Struggling

[Mr_Wombat1]

Hey all.
So I find life hard most of the time since everything seems to have a negative effect on me. I work 5 days a week and my work mates just don't make me feel welcome. They make smart remarks and laugh at my stupidity. Don't get me wrong, most of the people at work are fantastic and friendly.
My "friends" do pretty much the same. I have a handful of genuine friends that support me, but just feels like I have to make all the effort. I am 21 and have had depression for a while now. But just feels like it gets worse and worse over time. I don't want to have to take pills or anything like that. I just would like help with finding a solution to ignore the remarks and stay happy. I know people say just don't take it to heart.. But that is easier said then done. 

I have some problems with myself also. I am overweight, I sweat a lot also. From my armpits and hands mostly. It's a weakness of mine that keeps me from going out often. The only thing that really makes me feel happy is video gaming with my online friends, and going to music concerts to see my favourite bands. But obviously that is not healthy for me. 

Anyway, I hope there is some advice or someone going through a similar situation that I can connect with and talk to.
Thanks for reading

[White_Rose]

Dear Mr Wombat

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. Thank you for telling us your story. I have a psychologist who tells me I am not stupid but I may feel stupid at times. Now that I have realised what he is getting at I have decided to stop saying I am stupid. Whatever you tell yourself, if you say it often enough, you will believe it. So I suggest you simply don't go there again. It will also make a difference to the things others say to you. Try it and see.

"Don't take it to heart" is never a helpful comment. Of course we are hurt by unkind comments. We are also hurt by comments that are not intended to be unkind but which hit a raw place. These are the times we need to be aware of our sore spots and to recognise comments from others for what they really are.

You say you don't want to take medication and that's OK. However it may help if you had a chat to your doctor about being overweight and the sweating problem. They may be related, or not, but are definitely worth checking out. As these are stopping you going out and being with others, getting them under control will help with your social life and make the world of difference to your sad thoughts.

Please continue to write in here and talk about your life. We are here to listen and respond.

Mary

[Ladyhawke]

Hi Mr Wombat.

I agree that people's negative comments, whether deliberate or unintentional can have an enormous effect on how we view ourselves and  our self-esteem. Constant negative remarks can really have a detrimental effect on our psychological health.

I agree with Mary that speaking with your doctor about your physical issues is a good place to start. The two issues may be connected and by following your doctor's advice you may be able to shed a few kilos and alleviate the tendency to sweat.

I understand your not wanting to take medication, however, I wonder if it may help you further to speak with a professional who can help you learn some coping mechanisms so the negative barbs don't affect you so much. A psychologist could be extremely helpful with this and perhaps also in assisting you to develop a positive sense of yourself. It need not be a long-term commitment; just until you and the therapist feel you have made sufficient progress and you are feeling better about yourself. It can be a great relief to discuss issues face to face with a supportive professional. Your GP can refer you to a psychologist if you wish.

I hope this helps you a little.

LH