Really struggling

Frantic1 · ‎03-05-2018

Hi everyone,

i am really struggling with anxiety and depression at the moment. I have seen my GP who has started me on some new medication but I am just so sad all the time. I feel totally worthless and am struggling to get through each day. I keep crying and feel like I can’t do anything right. I feel so alone and that nobody cares. I have no confidence in my abilities and that I don’t know what I’m doing at work. I am studying as well and really have no belief that I can do the work. I just feel like giving up

Jacko777 · ‎03-05-2018

Hi Frantic1,

I'm sorry to hear how you are feeling Frantic1, you are here now, you are not alone anymore, we care and hope that you come to feel better.

For me, I have to be very clear about what things make me feel happy and calm, write them down, elaborate on them so they are deep with passion and importance. These things are my 'go to' when I notice I am starting to head downhill. What are these things for you, what do you love? I might put some music on, practice guitar, exercise, partake in a nature related community activity, or if I need some serious positive input, I might go camping or 4WDing, you get the idea.

Meditation has helped me a great deal, it trains the brain to focus, which you apply to the positive. It makes me feel calmer and happier, it is a practice, you don't need to get caught up in perfecting it.

Do you have any friends or family you can talk to? You can always ring the BB support service if you are struggling, you could talk to them about your new medication.

Talk any time, Jack.

Frantic1 · ‎04-05-2018

Hi Jack,

thanks for replying. Problem at the moment is that nothing makes me happy. Things that I used to do that made me happy no longer have the same effect. I am trying to distract myself when things get really bad and I am in my head too much. I do try some mindfulness but find that my mind wanders quite a bit. I don't really have any family or friends I can talk to as none of them understand what I am going through. The BB support service sounds like a good idea, thanks for the suggestion. I know this will get better once the new meds kick in back until then it is just an effort to keep going through the motions of living.

Frantic1

stormcloudz · ‎04-05-2018

Frantic

That's one of the hard parts of depression, isn't it, the lack of enjoyment in the usual things. Maybe set a low bar - if something makes you feel 5% better, that's still a win. Don't put pressure on yourself to be 'normal' at the moment.

I also struggle with mindfulness and meditation. Someone wise told me not to worry if my mind wanders, that's normal, just keep doing it. I confess I haven't, but I'm going to give it a go, maybe we could help each other : )

Distracting yourself sounds like a smart move at the moment. What sorts of things work for you?

Family and friends don't always understand, and that can be lonely. This forum is full of people who understand, and who are happy to talk anytime. We will be with you while you wait for those meds to kick in. And well done for going through the motions - keeping on going is a triumph in itself.

JustTry · ‎04-05-2018

Hi Frantic1,

I'm in exactly the same boat. I don't have any answers either. I just want you to know you're not alone. I'm right there with you.

Tgirll · ‎05-05-2018

Hi Frantic 1,

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this. I also am struggling with depression, for the first time in my life. I have generalised anxiety disorder and have suffered from it all of my life but despite that, I have always been a fairly positive person.

Everything situation wise is quite good in my life at the moment but I can't feel it. I feel down and negative all the time and feel like I can't enjoy anything anymore.

I think the previous advice given to you that even if you just get 1% of enjoyment in an activity that it's still a win. To not pressure yourself to feel how you used to feel and to be kind to yourself and give yourself time to heal.

I understand it can be difficult. I feel frustrated all the time now when I do an activity I used to love and I don't feel better at all or just a slight small amount or couldn't be distracted from how I feel or my thoughts. This feeds the negative emotions more I think.. it's a horrible cycle isn't it?

I think we just have to remember that we are not alone in this and that many people have gotten their anxiety and depression down to very manageable levels and live happy and successful lives. Why can't we be one of those people?

Keep engaging in as much activity as you can manage but don't pressure yourself to do so, sleep well, eat well, exercise (even if it's just brisk walking), keep seeking help from healthcare professionals and services and keep with BeyondBlue if it helps as an outlet. Tiny steps at a time.

Recovery is possible and you can regain your life and feel like you again! People do it all the time. I wish you all the best 🙂

Allan533 · ‎05-05-2018

One thing my psychologist recommended for when I get in a deep depression is called "grounding" techniques. There's lots of different ways you can do it, but basically the idea is that you force your mind to focus on the present moment in some way, which can help break the loops you get into. You can do things like loud music, particularly that with a strong emotional reaction (ideally not sadness), or looking at really intricate pictures and making an effort to examine every detail. Personally, I have a hot shower, which I then switch very quickly over to cold. It's not fun, as you can imagine, but holy monkeys does it occupy your brain.

It's not a total fix, don't get me wrong, I still feel thoroughly rotten afterwards. And it doesn't always work. But it does have a way of breaking the loops your thoughts can get into, particularly if you make an effort to do something that occupies your brain as soon after as possible. For me, that's horror stuff: movies, books, podcasts, whatever. Real psychological stuff. But everyone's different.

And it's very important to note that this is not permission to do things that you dislike or hurt yourself. This is not a self-harm thing. It's intense stimulus, not necessarily painful and certainly not damaging. A cold shower isn't fun, but it's unlikely to cause actual pain or damage. It's just intense.

Frantic1 · ‎06-05-2018

I would like to say a huge thankyou to everyone who replied. I don't feel quite so alone now.

Stormcloudz I try lots of things to distract myself, like watching tv, doing housework, cooking, going for a walk.

justry I'm sorry you are in the same boat as I wouldn't wish this on anyone but glad for the company ❤️

Tgirll you are right just 1% enjoyment is better than none

Allan533 your "holy monkeys" comment brought a smile to my face.

i have spent this weekend focussed on self care and have caught up with some friends, taken myself to the beauty salon and spent some time sitting in the sun with my cats. I have had moments where the sadness has lifted slightly and that has given me hope. It is nice to know I am not in this journey alone and I wish everyone here the very best

Jacko777 · ‎06-05-2018

I'm so glad you have found some hope Frantic1, nurture that, some times we just have to remember that we ARE heading towards greater peace, even if we don't know how or when, we just have to foster hope and stay on track.

Sounds like you had a nice weekend. It helps me to spend some time, maybe every day, being thankful for the positive moments and things in my life, gratitude, even tough challenges are something to be thankful for as they will make us better people.

All the best, Jack.