Post holiday blues or....?

[SilverRB]

Hello, this is my first time posting on this site but wanted to get other peoples opinions on my situation. The start of march my girlfriend and myself went on a 3 week holiday overseas...which was great for both of us...so no issues there. But ever since I've returned I've felt like I've been in this never ending slump. Before I went away I was a frequent gym goer and always (for the most part) happy. But ever since I've returned I haven't enjoyed the gym and i actually can't stand to go anymore. I now drink almost every night now which I never did previously. Can't understand or pinpoint what the issue could be...we've been back from holidays well over a month now

[Croix]

Dear SilverRB~

Welcome here to the Forum. Going on a holiday is a great and necessary thing. The whole world around you changes and becomes full of excitement and fun. There is an exotic flavor and everything is strange and packed wiht interest. Even if that is not an exact description of your overseas trip I'd expect it comes close. We do need a change now and again and holidays give it to us.

Then you return home and everyday reality set in. All the things you left behind on that vacation are right back there, and for many people, you too I guess, things seem a bit grim and grey.

You have only been home a couple of weeks and I'd expect - if you are anything like me - in a while things will start to look up. In the meantime try to do things you enjoy to give you a lift, no I'm not talking of drinking, more like a movie or show, out to dinner, or something simple like maybe reading a book. You would have a pretty good idea of what you enjoy. For exercise if hte gym is boring and it is hard to get motivation try something new.

You can plan your next vacation, or relieve moments of the one just past. Maybe even take up a new interesting hobby or venture.

Post holiday blues do affect an awful lot of people, it does take a while to fit back into normal everyday life. May I ask how your GF is getting on?

Croix

[SilverRB]

Thank you very much for your response. My girlfriend seems to be doing ok...she's a very quiet person and can be difficult to read though. But her overall vibe seems fine.

I do understand post travel blues as I've travelled overseas many times. Normally it only lasts a week if that for me, but this feels like something deeper.

[Croix]

Dear SilverRB~

Is there anything then that is different about this time?

One thing does occur to me - do you and your GF face this together? I'm not sure being hard to read is an asset in a relationship. It makes it harder to look after the person for one thing. Maybe it is time for her to support you - my apologies if she is doing so already. I have found in my relationship it often happens that roles are exchanged, one looking after or supporting the other, then the reverse.

Croix

[quirkywords]

Silver,

can relate to what you are saying. I was overseas for over 4 weeks and I have been back for 5 weeks. Up until 3 weeks ago I had a hacking cough and felt exhausted. I felt silly telling people how I felt. My partner was ok. He had a cold overseas but was fine when we got back.

have more energy now, but sill I don't have my pre trip energy . It is frustrating so I don't tell people who I don't think will understand.

Most people said its just jet lag. I have travelled before too and this is worst I have felt.

Sorry not much help, I just keep hoping it will get better and it has for me little by little.

Croix has offered some useful advice that I will try .

Quirky

[SilverRB]

Thanks Croix. My girlfriend has a little girl she looks after alone so i feel like maybe I shouldn't burden her with my issues. It's not really effecting our relationship (at the moment) I think she just thinks I'm stressed from work (i work for myself). Works going ok and not stressing me at all.

[Croix]

Dear SilberRB~

I can only speak for myself, someone who has very close relationships.

One of the realy great things I've found in a relationship is sharing. Now this can be something light, like going for a walk and watching the nightlife, or something heavy like illness or being anxious or despondent. To know firstly that someone understands and secondly that they do not put up barriers and stand back is a real comfort.

Just as comforting and a source of self esteem and pride is to be the one who is currently there for the other. I can understand not wanting to worry someone, which seems OK, but is really not allowing them to help. Obviously in a perfect world the boot will in time be on the other foot too.

It is difficult to strike a balance between honesty and saying to much, it depends on lots of things. The idea I wanted to get across - which you probably know anyway - is that helping is a necessary part of life.

Croix

[SilverRB]

I know exactly what you mean Croix...my relationship is still pretty new (just over a year now) i feel like maybe it's still too early to burden her with my issues...also she's from a different (culture/nationally) from me so I'm not sure she'll totally understand my issues.

[Croix]

Dear SilverRB~

~Like you I wish there were set answers to things, life would be so much more simpler. You mentioned your GF has a child. Do you mind if I ask if you are involved in helping with her? Looking after a child is one sure way to change one's perspective:)

Croix