Really struggling today

[fifi]

having such a horrible day today 😞 and here i was thinking that i was having more good than bad 😛 well this week has proved me wrong . I am in a major downward spiral sitting here at my work desk finding it hard not to burst into tears and the anxiety attack that is going with it has my stomach in knots. my body is aching all over and i am finding harder to function as the hours roll on over the last few days i have had a heap of veins explode and my hands are now all bruised and extremely sore not helping at all . the stupid irrational thoughts are back and i find myself over analyzing everything i have types this post over 5 times 😞 just wish everything would just settle down i really dont like where my head is heading praying for a better day 😞

[--Danny--]

Hi fifi, hopefully you get some good days this week..how was you're day today? Was it a winner? Keep positive mate!

Danny

[fifi]

Ahhh  she be right mate 🙂 the space between the good and bad days are getting further apart no much but any improvements is an improvement . Yesterday was ok 🙂 i am getting a bit more organized every day 🙂 yay me !!!! How are you buddy ??? how was your day ?

Fi 

[--Danny--]

Hi fifi, how are you doing today? Any small wins in the last couple of days? Let me know how you're doing. Take care 

Danny

[--Danny--]

Hi Fifi, I really am hoping you've had a awsome week!! What have you been up to this week anyway mate? How's things been for ya?

Danny

[fifi]

Hi Danny ,

I am ok have been rather sick with a chest infection over the last week 😞 In saying that i have been ok 🙂 dr have upped my meds for the time being to help with recovering from the nervous breakdown side effects are a little yuk but i am sure they will settle down soon 🙂 How have you been ?? Anything exciting happening in your world ???

Talk soon Fi

[--Danny--]

Hey mate, I hope you have had an awsome week! How has this week been for ya? My week has been really hectic so far...huge hours at work..I haven't done much else..I still haven't drank alcohol in 40 odd days..my anti-depressants have stabilized now & I feel less depressed, although not drinking for so long has probably made me feel better..not sure if it's the anti-D's or no booze making me feel better? Let me know how you're going Fi,

Take care,

Danny

[fifi]

hahah Thanks neil 🙂 your a gem i only just seen your reply 😛 but am glad that i seen it today 🙂 am having a pre bad day today ran out of tablets 😞 so really struggling to keep my stuff together 😞 thankfully i get paid today and can get my meds . I am really so dissapointed in myself i used to be able to go for months at one stage 2 years without tablets i know that was not the right thing to do but the point is i semi succeed and now i go not even 24hrs and i am a mess literally a mess  😞 sorry guys just really having a poor me day feeling really really horrible gahh and on come the tears again 😞 

[fifi]

Hey Danny sorry for the late reply for some reason lately when i have been posting reply's they don't come up 😕 crazy internet 😛 as i said before today is really yuck and finding it really really hard to pull my stuff together yuk yuk yuk i will be fine thou 😛 and yay you no grog is a huge huge achievement 😄 you should be really proud of what you have achieved so far 🙂 hope your doing well buddy look forward to hearing from you 🙂

[--Danny--]

Hey Fi, I really hope you've had a really good last couple of days!! It is really good to hear from you 🙂 , Thank you for the kind words! I appreciate all your support! I've been off the grog for 53 days now 🙂 I'm pretty rapt! Work has been good, mega long hours but I'm pretty grateful to be employed so I can't complain..since I quit the grog I've spent more quality time with the family which is good! Only thing that is really annoying me is the amount of weed I have been smoking..way to much of it...it's getting expensive!! The only thing is though the stuff has really helped me stay away from the grog! & I'm chilled out so I'm never angry & I'm always chilled out & friendly to everyone! I'm very unsure how to handle the situation I find myself in?? Also, me & my wife have been getting along as good as ever..the kids are all happy...what to do??

A little bit confused,

Danny

[fifi]

53 days what an achievement 😄 so so proud of what you have achieved 😄

as for the other well i have to say that i am very much on the fence about it lol i say if it is having no negative impact well it cannot be all that bad now can it ??? i belive that more reserch should be done on weed. But at the end of the day do whats right for you Danny 🙂 as for me i have been ok feeling like a pin cushion 😕 had all the blood tests for the fertility trial that i am signed up for now the real scary stuff starts follow up appointment to come and surgery gahhhhh so not looking forward to that ! any way as scary and crappy as the next few months are going to be i have come to terms with the fact that yes it is absolute poo that i have to go through all of this rigmarole just to become a mum but i must keep my head up and keep looking forward i dont have any other choice 😕 On another note my little business is really starting to take off  ( i am a photographer ) 3 weddings to shoot in the coming months along with 2 maternity shoots and 3 newborns 😮 fun times ahead 🙂 look forward to hearing from you again soon danny 🙂