ready to give up

[kacir]

I had a baby 8 months ago which made my partner want to move in together (obviously) but that meant moving away from my family and I have always been super close to my family. My dad recently passed away from a heart attack and I haven't been the okay since.

The move has made me hate my partner, I don't feel in love and I am constantly in tears and he just doesn't understand, and then we have covid on top of all this so I am still not allowed to see my family as they live too far away and it is tearing me apart. I lost all my friends after I had my baby not that I had many before that.

I don't have my license as I have no one over here to teach me as my partner is still on his p's therefore he can't teach me so I am stuck in this house nearly 24/7 with no one to talk to and no friends, no family just my baby. My partner normally works 5/6 days a week but at the moment it's 4 days a week but he just spends the days he has off drinking with our housemate that has just moved out today but now my partner is spending the day at his new house leaving me here all alone again. I had to beg him for attention, to chose a day of the weekend to just spend with me and our baby and he didn't want too but I told him I would leave and I still want to, I just don't have the heart to leave considering there is a baby involved.

I feel sad constantly, I just eat junk food and it has made me put on weight but I don't have the effort to cook anything. I don't want to get out of bed anymore but I have to for my baby.

I'm lost, I don't know what to do anymore. I hate myself.

I'm just ready to give up.

[Mumma_Ky]

Hi Kacir,

Please don’t give up. You sound like a strong,amazing person.

Can you contact your family for some support or maybe they could visit? Your beautiful baby will be happy if you are happy, so do whatever you have to to take care of yourself. Maybe you could try the beyondblue support line.

Good luck and don’t forget to breathe.

[Sophie_M]

Welcome to the forums Kacir, 

We're so grateful that you have reached out to our community today, we know that it is not an easy thing to do but it is so important that you have. We're really sorry to hear that your relationship is struggling. This must be especially tough to manage during this difficult time. But please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space to talk about your thoughts and feelings, and our wonderful community is here to provide you with as much support, advice and conversation as you need. 

We would recommend that you get in touch with an organisation called Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277. They provide relationship support services for individuals, families and communities and aim to support all people in Australia to achieve positive and respectful relationships. It might be worth finding out what they can offer you.

If you feel you would benefit from more ongoing support, we’d also encourage you to get in in touch with us via our Support Service on 1300 22 4636 or www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport and we can provide you with some advice and referrals.  

It's a really good first step reaching out here. Hopefully, few of our members will be by to welcome you over the next few days. 

[kacir]

I live in melbourne and my mum is more then 25kms away and as said before my dad passed away 2 months ago

[Mumma_Ky]

I’m so sorry to hear about your dad, I know what a huge hole that leaves. Sophie_M has given you great advice..I hope trying those things leads you somewhere positive. I live in Melbourne as well, and it has been a tough time for all of us, but try and take things a minute at a time if you have to...you are worth the effort kacir