Pets and depression

[MegW]

I have suffered depression for years possibly as a consequence of losing both parents at a fairly young age leaving me to bumble through life on my own.  I have experienced all those cliched expressions, the dark tunnel, the deep hole, the black dog, I have often contemplated ways out to end the suffering, there have been days when making the effort to shower and leave my house to walk the block to the supermarket have seemed almost insurmountable.  But I seem to be somehow resilient, even when I really want to quit I seem to get through and try as much to live in the moment, I feel like I am constantly swimming with my head just above water.  Over years I have developed an inability to enter into a relationship, I have no confidence and have often failed in my ability to be able to determine if a person is decent and good or not so I choose now to live alone.  The one thing that has helped me the most are my pets, my cats are a reason to get up and function, to feed, to groom, to clean litter, change water, to play with and pet, to just pet on the couch. I adopted a rescue dog, I class as one of the (few) best things that have ever happened in my life.  She makes me feel happy and I know she loves me and I love her, for twelve months after I got her, for the first time in years I felt free of depression, I barely recognised this feeling but I was always aware that just like an alcoholic who no longer drinks it (the depression) would always be lurking.  It came back eventually, insidiously creeping in to cloud my mind and take over my heart.  Today I bought a puppy (I don't expect I'll be able to 'cure' my depression by obtaining an animal every time I feel sad :), I brought my pup home and we sat in the sun, this particular pup is a breed I have wanted to own since I can remember. It made me realise that in the whole of my life I have only ever twice fulfilled any of my dreams, for as long as I can remember I have always wanted a pup of this breed to train in agility and I had always wanted a touring bicycle.  I have spend (and wasted) so much (too much) of my life living for others, giving to them, making sure they are alright and have what they need, I always thought that if you gave it would always come back to you, my giving only left me empty, untrusting, peniless and bereft, no wonder I have been sad, now is time for me.  I have always wanted a horse of my own and to tour and potentially live in Tasmania, those things are next on my list :).

[HA1]

Hi MegW

Welcome and thank you for your post.  I thought your post was touching.  Tinged with sadness of the past, yet a positive and determined feel about the future.  I hope I have not misinterpreted it too much. 

I have to agree about pets.  Mine knows every time that I feel particularly low - it will not leave my side and when I sit or lie down, it will look straight into my eyes until it starts nodding off (poor thing).

look forward too hearing more about your story.

Take care

k

[dougall]

Hi MegW nice to hear your story.  Animals are wonderful and don't talk back or make you feel inferior.  I hope you make a list of your dreams and get through them.  At the end of my list is to make another list.  Now you have company to walk down to the shops with.

[White_Rose]

Hello Meg

Welcome to BB and thank you for sharing. It takes a great deal of determination to get through these bouts of depression and the urge to self harm. I am so glad you have managed that, even though you know it is likely to come back. I think this is so inspiring to others who face the same difficulty.

Being able to trust others is hard in any circumstance. Depression makes it so much harder, especially if you have felt unsupported. I have no words to help you in this instance as I feel the same. Trusting someone and being let down is horrid.

Your wishlist sounds great. It is good that you have decided to do things for yourself instead of putting yourself last. Again it is the depression that makes us feel we are not worthwhile and that others are more deserving or important. I suspect your depression will improve (as in get better) when you start living your life more for yourself. Great stuff.

Like the others posting here, I am interested in how you go.

Regards

Mary

[geoff]

dear Meg, it's so true the undying love they give us is magic, as you can see Moo-Moo in my picture who is 4 years old and my eldest son gave her to me, ( as it was his families, but she kept on taking food out my 2 year old grand daughter's hand and would also lick her on her face) but makes funny snoring noises, but she comes with everywhere I go, sleeps with me, but on a diet.

She replaces my 18 year old dog Tessie who was my idol, another long haired Jack Russell, and when I had to put her down it completely broke my heart.

We were never allowed to have a dog or cat when we were growing up, and boy, what we missed out on, how about the rest of you. L Geoff. x

[dougall]

Hi geoff I grew up not being allowed to have pets but that was because my dad was an alcoholic and we did not have the money.  When we did get a kitten it was my sister and I that brought it home, mum said okay and my dad called it all the names under the sun, it was black.  Mixed emotions with pets.

[Girl_Anachronism]

Hi Meg,

I can certainly empathise. I have two cats and I can't be with them right now due to my living situation, but they are my reason for living. I honestly would not be alive not for their sweet little comforts. Even their litter tray motivated me to get out of bed when nothing else could. 

I miss mine so much, and wish I could be with them but it isn't safe for me there, so I need to get safe and get a place of my own. Then I will take them off my mums hands and we can be together again. 

I too, feel the need to get new pets everytime I get really low. If you can't have anymore pets, you might be able to become a foster carer. You basically look after them while they find forever homes. Its a way to have extra pets without owning them, as a loophole.  You can do this through alot of rescue organisations, or even for guide dog puppies. 

GA

[White_Rose]

I grew up with pets in the house. Usually a dog but also cats from time to time and budgies. I remember as a small child sitting on the floor with our dog Jack and telling him all my troubles.  He was a very good listener and washed my face in the process.

Once I had my own family we had cats, dogs, chickens, turkeys and hamsters. We also had a snake come to visit and tried to join the hamster for lunch, but I can't say it was a pet. These animals gave us so much love and fun and many of our family stories revolve around the antics of the pets.

I understand there are organisations that take dogs to retirement and nursing homes as therapy for the people who live there. Having a pet has all sorts of physical benefits but the most important in my opinion is the joy they give to their owners. Unconditional love and companionship.

Mary

[MegW]

Thanks everyone for all the replies, some of the comments made me smile (Mary you make it sound as though the snake were joining the hamster for a tea party but somehow I feel he may have been visiting for some takeaways :), some were really touching. GA I hope circumstances improve and you get your furbabies back soon and Geoff I understand exactly what you mean about loving your dogs, I can't even contemplate life without my older dog, she is like my perfect dog.  One of the reasons I got my new pup, apart from fulfilling what has been a life long dream is due to an old woman I saw the other day, she was at the counter in a shop and for some reason I watched her and wondered what, if any, regrets she may have had, I'm getting older and I don't want to be the age of this old woman and be living with a bunch of regrets of things I didn't experience, attain or achieve, life's too short as it is.  I'd kept putting off getting a pup, I wasn't really sure if it was going to be the best timing, worried how a pup would fit in with my other pets, whether it would be good for my older dog, how the cats would cope, how would I cope, broken sleep, toilet training, but I guess sometimes you just have to jump in boots and all or as someone I once knew used to say, "take a big bite and chew like buggery", so far the pup seems great and one of the best things is that after a few initial hesitations from my older dog, looks from her as if to say "mum are we really keeping that thing" and "what the @#**^@!! is it doing tugging my blanket??" they seemed to have bonded and are playing together, tearing around the house and sleeping together in the garden, it is as though having the young pup is giving my older dog (she is nine) a new lease on life and she's not barking as much as she did which I think came from being alone and bored when I was at work.  No regrets :).

[White_Rose]

Yes, you are right Meg.  The snake did want take away.

I keep thinking about having a dog to live with me.  When I was still working it was my ambition but I kept being told it was unfair as the dog would be alone all day while I was away.  So I had no pets except for a bowl of goldfish.  Not quite the same.  Then the goldfish were traumatised when the light fitting fell out of the ceiling, stopping a feet above their bowl and showering them with plaster dust.

After that I gave up, deciding I could not give a pet a good home. So that is one of my regrets.  Of course I could have a small dag to live here now that I have retired. It's good that you took the plunge and found a home for your new resident.

To follow up on GA's post. The people who rescue greyhounds when their racing days are over also need temporary foster homes. The dogs get assessed for their suitability to co-habit with other pets and children etc and then placed in a permanent home.  Greyhounds are great pets. They are often seen as tearaways but in fact are quite lazy.  Their idea of a good time is lying on the couch with you.They are loving and gentle, need little grooming as they are short-haired,  suitable for the person who doesn't like walks and good looking. (The dog I mean)

At the moment I would to have a dog I could cuddle and talk to.  Feeling very down and teary.  The past couple of months have been hard with several, to me, major crises.

Mary