Not sure any of this makes sense

[Elton]

A lot of people on here seem to echo the feelings I have a lot of the time. Are there really answers or do most of us just need to put up with it?

I’m married to a wonderful woman. My job is well paid but insecure and unfulfilling, I spend most days on my own. My wife is away at the moment and I haven’t spoken to a real person, face to face in 3 days.

I usually exercise to help with how I’m feeling but I broke a rib recently so can’t do anything which is making things harder. I don’t taken medication, the only time I ever went to a Dr they told me there was nothing wrong with me. However when I tick the boxes on the test here it says I am scoring High. I guess the very fact I’m even looking at this site should tell me something.

I just can’t see a way to climb out of this today. Everything feels like it’s a crisis when I know in my heart it really isn’t.  Then I start to feel like an idiot for thinking this way because I really have no actual problems at all. I’ve tried to talk to my wife but she feels impotent because what can she do? Then she starts to feel like it’s her fault (which it isn’t) and then I feel ashamed that I’m dragging her down with me so I just smile and say I’m fine.

Not sure what my point for writing all this is now, but here it is nonetheless.

[TIsha]

Hi Elton, it's great that you are on here and feeling familiar with what people are saying on here. I think this familiarity is a great support.

I know for me that was a big part of accepting whatever type of depression I have is that it is real because people on here feel and talk about the same kind of things that run through my head.

Have you thought about seeing another doctor? Beyond Blue may be able to recommend someone for you in your area? Especially now that you can't exercise? I can relate to not exercising, I go to a gym about 4 times a week and run as well, and when injured or sick I really find it hard, and have so many more days where I just don't feel right.

I put up with depression for a long time before getting to breaking point and was encouraged to go to a Dr and was put on medication, on a low dose, and wish I had earlier ... my dose has varied over the last 7 years but it takes the edge off and i know without exercise I'd probably be on more....while I still have days I know it won't last and I don't have to put up with it.

I think yes you do have to accept you may have depression or anxiety of some sort... and it is sooo different for everyone ... but no you don't have to put up with it, your on the right track and it is great you are on here but you'll need some more support in a 'real' face to face situation, a professional to meet with and talk through everything ... hoping this helps you

best wishes with a path forward ...

[Mares73]

Dear Elton thank you for sharing your story & for having the courage to reach out to Beyond Blue. Many of the feelings you describe I can empathize with as I'm sure many others will. Depression is an illness that robs us of our self esteem, makes us question our worth & leads to self doubt & self blame. You mention everything can feel like a crisis when it's really not this is not uncommon with depression. It's easy to feel overwhelmed, hopeless,  isolated, unmotivated & generally miserable. My first suggestion would be to see a new GP to discuss the benefits of medication as part of your recovery. There is a list of GPs on this site who are aligned with Beyond Blue & therefore highly trained & experienced in depression & forms of treatment. I'd urge you to find one in your area & to make an appointment. Also please try to remember you are not alone-there is a whole network of support here for you. Just try focus on getting through each day even if you have to break it up into half hour intervals. Try also to not put to much pressure on yourself-is there anything you enjoy doing that would help keep your mind calmer such as reading or watching a DVD? During this time it's important to focus on everything you can manage to do. Even getting up & getting through a day at work is a massive achievement. Perhaps you need a day off to just focus on relaxation. Or maybe work is a good distraction. Another idea is to write a list of your thoughts & feelings including your symptoms. It can be hard to accept we have been hit by depression but it's a highly prevalent illness that doesn't discriminate. It's no different to suffering from any other illness-you need professional help, support &Compassion & it takes time to recover. But with the right medication, support & perhaps counseling you will feel like your living again rather than merely existing. I don't know if I've said anything of help but please know we are here always to support you. I hope you can write back. Mares x

[Chris_B]

Hi Elton, here is a link to the practitioner directory that has been mentioned. Just to clarify, the directory is designed to help you find health professionals in your local area, and is not an endorsement of the health professionals listed or the services they provide. The health professionals who appear on the directory are those who have chosen to provide us with their details, and are not aligned with or trained by us.

[Mares73]

Some ray Chris-that was my mistake.i thought the list of Gps included those who had undertaken some forms of training by BB & were therefore highly informed about depression

Mares