Life long depression

[Mr_echo]

Where to start. I've known I have depression for all my adult life. It's now worse than ever. I also gamble to excess when very heavily stressed and depressed. Both go hand in hand. I don't drink. For some reason my vent is to say oh well, what does it matter and after the event feel even worse. Can't believe I blew the money the next day. Why do I vent this way? Wife of 23 years is now saying we should split. I love her and my kids with my last breath. I do everything for them. I need to get positive but it seems too high a mountain to climb. I'm feeling physical symptoms as well. Always cold and can't warm up. Multiple issues I know. Marriage in trouble. Causes Worse depression and in turn I turn to my vent which is gambling. I hate it. I do not gamble when not in bad depressed state. My depression is all consuming at times and I just want it gone for good. I want normal life and above all I want the love of my family. I need their support but my wife does not understand the illness. I'm a good person. Worked hard and provided. How can I ask for their support when I don't believe in myself to beat this affliction? I also don't like my job but I do it everyday and feel I am wasting away with no one to care. I would love a job helping people like me as I've been through it all. Feel good about myself and at the same time helping others will be perfect medicine. But here I am. Depressed and almost broke. Money can be replaced and I want my mood to be replaced too. Advice is appreciated. I've had so many things happen to me in my life and I see so many negatives in the world that get the depression into overdrive. I want to be helped and then to help.

[Neil_1]

Hi there Mr Echo

Welcome to Beyond Blue and oh boy, a lot of what you’ve written describes someone I know very well.   Though I’m trying my best with the gambling side of things, which I’ve gotta say is something I love, though you call it a venting.

With regard to gambling, when I was at one of my lowest ebbs due to that, I sought help and I went through Lifeline – they have dedicated gambling counsellors, who I found to be fantastic and did help me a lot.

So I guess that leads to a couple of questions.

Have you sought out professional help for your depression;  eg:  seeing a gp and/or psych?   And have you sought out any assistance (professional) with your gambling?

Doing both of these I believe would also make big inroads, positive inroads for your marriage as well, as your wife will see that you are truly genuine in your wish to get better.

I do hope you can post again.

Neil

[geoff]

dear Mr. Echo, I am pleased my good friend Neil has replied to you with some very good credible advice.

Some people are able to gamble just because they love the thrill of watching the horses, dogs or trots race around the track, or instead are able to put on the smallest amount available just like I do, with no more than $ 5 or $6 or maybe $8 a day depends of course whether I am winning, so I can get 10 bets min, I do it for fun, but when you need to gamble because you're not feeling well, annoyed or frustrated, then it's no worse than someone having a drinking problem, so is it an addiction or is it a habit or maybe a way of being able to relax, but that's until you start to lose, so then your situation becomes worse, which then makes it 'double-fold'.

Please without harm to you, but from what I can see is that there are many issues, one causes the other, so it goes around and around in a circle, and when ever you stop you land on a negative, as there doesn't seem to be any positives at the moment, and the most important one here is the love of your wife and children.

Unfortunately this won't change because you always tend to fall back on the gambling and when this starts then it closes the door for your wife, because it changes your personality, happy when you win, but devastated and grumpy when you lose, so then the circle begins again.

It's no different than an alcoholic losing his/her family because what they only really want in life is the grog, their family comes second, and the family won't have a bar of him/her while they are drunk, but it's this time when they feel as though he/she can approach their family when under the skin, but he/she is wrong they want him/her to be sober, so the same principle applies to someone who gambles.

I'm sorry because my reply is pretty blunt, but I do hope that you will get back to us. Geoff.