No job, no future

[Agent79]

Tonight I received noticed of another failed job application. Another one of those "Thanks but go screw yourself" emails.

Context: It was retail

Went for a job interview on Wednesday after completing their online shit, only to find that the person interviewing me was not there, had someone else come over to do the interview. I screwed up on the first question "Tell us about yourself". God damn it shoot me now, I thought. I said what I need, previous retail experience in similar role, volunteering once a week, that was it. How much should they know? I can't talk about my interests because I am embarrassed by them. I told them my availability, my understanding of the job and that was it.

Now they sent me less than 3 hours ago the Go Screw Yourself email. Well, screw you too. They are going to regret this decision.

I have been on the job search for a long time now, failed art school, failed uni, last job was when I was 17. I volunteer once a week with a charity shop with warehouse stuff, donated furniture donations etc. I can't even get a job as a trolley collector, this is how screwed my situation is.

I am 25 but have the mind of a 85 year old, meaning I have done my bit for the world so let me die. And don't give me that "You will get one eventually" or "You're 25, you're still young". No I won't and No I am not. I have failed my family, my friends and myself. There is no hope for me. I am done acting civilised, that never works, we always get smeared. I will kill someone to get a job if I have to. Just give me a job so I can at least be happy for once

[Sophie_M]

Hi Agent79,

Thanks for reaching out here tonight. We're so sorry to hear that you've had such a big disappointment today. We understand how stressful job-seeking is, and that it can really take a toll on your self confidence. Please know that there is support available to you. We are reaching out to you privately to check in with you.

It might be worth taking a look at one of our Beyond Blue resources "Eight tips for looking after your mental health through unemployment" - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/personal-best/pillar/supporting-yourself/eight-tips-for-looking-after-your-mental-health-through-unemployment
Whenever you're feeling overwhelmed, please know that there is always support. MensLine Australia is a free 24/7 telephone and online counselling service for men with emotional health and relationship concerns. You can contact them on 1300 78 99 78 or https://mensline.org.au/ Can we ask if you are receiving mental health support? Please do feel free to contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport
One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support but also provide you with advice and referrals for seeing a counsellor in a more ongoing way.

Please feel free to reach out here on your thread anytime you feel up to it to keep us updated.

 

[tranzcrybe]

Hi Agent79,

You got a reply - at least they showed an interest. That means you were a contender in with a real chance.

For face to face interviews, I guess you really need acting lessons and to have a series of scripts to use as required (memorised, naturally, flipping pages won't look too good!).

Although frustrating, it is important not to take it personally. Have you thought about going into business for yourself? It takes self confidence and a lot of effort (and many unpaid hours) but the rewards can be great - and who knows, you may be doing the hiring one day!

Find an interest that others will have a need to utilise, make a plan (tools, premises, finances) and get an ABN. Check out the competition, and get some marketing in. Hard work will give you purpose and confidence. BTW, impressing family and friends is not a worthwhile goal.

Regards,

t.

[Agent79]

There is no possible way for me to start my own business. No bank or credit union would ever give a unemployed man a loan.For them, that is dangerous territory.

[tranzcrybe]

Hi Agent79,

Yes, simply fronting up to a bank would be a courageous step - should have clarified: "tools, premises, finances" are long term plans so you have a goal and some road map to where you want to be. It can be useful to plan in 5 year blocks (projections).

I was thinking of starting a little smaller - perhaps a lawn mowing round, or cleaning windows? Only need an ABN and a few good tools - not too expensive and they are tax deductible. Things start slow (in contrast to just walking into a job), but word of mouth is priceless and is a direct reflection of the effort you put in.

Worth a try?

t.

[Gonetroppo]

Hi Agent79,

Attending interviews can have unexpected results even if you are not selected for the immediate position. Early in my career, I went to a job interview but was unsuccessful mostly because my skills weren't a perfect match for the job. The interviewer rang me a week or so later to let me know that a colleague of his was looking for someone with my skills and asked if he could pass my details on. My application for the second job was successful.

I guess my advice is to try and stay the course. Unexpected things can happen.

[Agent79]

I have tried staying on course for 4 years but no one wants me. Now I have to fight dirty

[bumbledbee]

I have been in your situation. It took me such a long time to find a job. Eventually a woman I did some small jobs for recommended me. It's tough though. It really takes its toll on your self esteem. It's good that you are doing volunteer work. I've seen people get work that way.

[45femmumwife]

Just from this one post I can hear you really want that job.
I agree with above comments that sometimes you have to fake it to make it. Tell people what they want to hear.
Could there be anything more demoralising and demeaning than job application processes? I dont think so, why is it so damn hard?
Make the most of your time now. Read, exercise, sounds like you already volunteer, study (can be self directed) , get outside often, get dirty in the yard work, build something, cook something. These are all survival skills that mean a lot at interview time.
I think you are justified at getting angry and building a fight.
One day after a particularly bad morning in The Worst Government office in the world (I'm sure you can guess which one), I tried to calm down in long bath. There I dreamed up the idea of forming a support group in my local library for victims of the insane getting a job trap . I decided the library wasn't big enough.

[yggdrasil]

Hi mate. Thanks for sharing your experiences on here. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time at the moment with the job market and a sense of failure. I know how painful these emotions are. It's really the worst. I failed year 12 and had to repeat, and have failed many university subjects, and despite any other successes I've had I still feel like a failure a lot of the time. It can be a really deeply wired feeling and only slowly unravels day by day. I think it's really important not to internalise the brutality of the job market. Entry level jobs are really hard to come by these days as so many of them are outsourced or automated. I've got a masters degree and I've still struggled for long periods to find work. I think it's important that we be careful using aggressive language though as that risks getting us further isolated. Don't let this stuff bring you down. Have you heard of Mable? It's a platform you can use to look for support work. I just registered on that. Maybe also try applying for some more volunteering? Hope you get through this really low point.