Newbie

[LisaT]

Hi...I'm reaching out in the hope of finding some online support. I'm a 47 yr old sole parent of 2 daughters aged 16 & 21. Last year I had a manic episode and was hospitalised for 3 weeks. The low that followed left me feeling suicidal...these thoughts now seem to be subsiding. I'm on medication . I have tried others but but had to go off it due to it effecting my kidneys. Would like to make some online friends for mutual support...

[white knight]

Hi Lisa, welcome to beyond blue forums

Members here are either sufferers of mental illness or partners/friends/family of a sufferer. Our identity remains anonymous.

This site would be invaluable for you, trying to understand your conditions for example. By all means post threads for any issues you'd like to discuss. We will be here for you.

I too have low kidneys. There are so many meds out there now so dont give up hope.

In terms of suicidal thoughts, have you tried taking up a hobby? Seeking mind diversion helps. Remove toxic people from your life has helped me enormously. And seeking out a local support group is recommended.

There is a huge amount of reading material here. Please read as much as you can. Hopefully we will get to know you over time.

 Tony WK

[LisaT]

Thank you for welcoming me

[Neil_1]

Hi there Lisa T

And I too would like to wish you a warm welcome here to Beyond Blue and to thank you for providing your post and some information about yourself.

It’s very understandable that the episode that you experienced last year would have been extremely traumatic for yourself and shaken you to the core.  It sucks massively that at times, we have to experience such horrible things and then when it’s passed, it still remains with you, as quite often the events can be difficult to forget.

I’m guessing here, but it sounds like the particular medication that you are on now is agreeing with you and you are feeling ok with it?    And hopefully as you may have already been told (by a treating professional or the like) that taking medication is just one part of a treating process to help with a mental health condition;  there’s so many other mechanisms that need to be put in place to help us.

Anyway, I didn’t want to ramble on too much in my first post to you – but am pleased you’ve come here and would love to hear back from you.

Neil

[Rain81]

Hi LisaT, I am new also to this site, I have been experiencing a low as well since my grandpas passing in August , I'm so sorry that you are suffering and hope you can take some comfort in knowing you can come here and talk x

[LisaT]

Hi Neil,

thankyou for welcoming me...you are right it was traumatic. I had no idea that I was actually in a manic phase I thought nothing was wrong with me. Even though I had a newfound interest in art and an increase in spirituality not to mention delusional thoughts! In hindsight I can look back and think geez I WAS sick. I'm finding it difficult to feel like my old self....I'm not sure if it's because of the meds I'm on but I just feel so unmotivated...the super dark thoughts have gone...thank goodness because they really scared me...hope to get to know you

Lisa

[LisaT]

Hi Rain81

sorry to hear that your grandpa passed away and that you have been struggling to. I'm slowly getting better but it has been difficult. This is my second breakdown in 14yrs. My doctor seems to think that that's not too bad! I'm just finding it difficult to feel like my old self. Thankyou for welcoming me.

[Neil_1]

Hi Lisa

Thanx again for your latest response.

Having the super dark thoughts hit you can be really hard and stressful to deal with and cope with, so that can really affect the ol' mind and sometimes they can be then difficult to push out of the mind as well.  As it cruelly likes us to remember such things.

But it is great to hear that they've gone.

With the motivation thing - have you got interests or hobbies, sports, anything that you really like to do or enjoy (play or participate in).  It can be literally anything;  but this is so you can try to find at least one thing that will help you get 'out and about' a little and also to help occupy your mind and keep your focus and attention on 'good' things and not dwell on the bad things.

I hope you've got a few that you can try to get happening for you.

Kind regards

Neil

[LisaT]

Hi Neil,

hmmm...in regards to interests and hobbies...no not really. For the past 14 yrs I've been a sole parent to my 2 daughters and I've worked full time. I try to get out to visit 2 friends for coffee each week. There are times that I feel lonely as my 16 yr old started boarding school this year. I still see her weekly but it's not exactly the same. She too has had mental health issues which arose 2 yrs ago. The ongoing stress is what caused my breakdown. Being her Mum involves taking her to see her psychologist every 2 weeks and psych every 4. Last year not long after I got out of hospital she tried to suicide and self harmed. As you can imagine this sent me into a tailspin. I managed to keep myself out of hospital but it was tough...I'm currently doing ok but just need to connect with people who get it. I don't know anybody else who has suffered from a full blown manic episode with psychotic symptoms. I don't know anybody else who has a teen with a mental illness and sometimes this makes me feel so alone.

thanks for listening, Neil

Lisa

[Neil_1]

Hi Lisa

Great to hear back from you.

During a great deal of last year, we had some pretty big concerns with our 16yo son, who was self-harming.   Fortunately that’s as far as it ever got, but holy, it sure takes you to a completely new level of stress when things like this are happening to your own child.

We had great support through his school and I think that’s where he received the most benefit –from a counsellor there.

I tried to use all my resources and experience that I’ve picked up along my journey and to that end, I felt as though I was at least providing ‘some’ help to him;  but at home he was pretty quiet and he never divulged what the exact circumstances were, as to why he was self-harming.  Which was a little annoying, because we weren’t able to know, we weren’t able to intervene if we saw signs that something wasn’t particularly right.

We also got him along to a gp, but that was just for the one visit, as he said it didn’t help him one bit.

I hope that by posting this it may have given you some thoughts to ponder on, but also as you say, it’s great to talk to someone who has experienced similar issues.

Kind regards

Neil