New here - suffering from serious relapse of depression

[MattRatt]

Hello everyone.

I am new to this forum, but I really felt like I needed some extra help. I've been suffering from major depression and generalized anxiety disorders for 8 years now. I was able to get my symptoms mostly under control with medication and CBT, but recently my depression has come back even stronger. I am finding it very difficult to concentrate on my studies, and I fear it's going to affect my graduation. I am going to see my GP about it this week, but I would also appreciate some additional emotional support.

[bluebagger]

Hi Matt. You're not alone. I've suffered from major clinical depression for 15 years and have had many setbacks. Even knowing all the right things to do (CBT) and being on medication doesn't stop it coming back. We just need to persevere and remember that things can get better. I really hope your GP visit helps - but always happy to lend an ear. -Stef

[blondguy]

Hi Matt

Welcome to the forums and good you for posting too!

Bluebagger (Stef) has great experienced advice above and is spot on the roller coaster ride of depression has its ups and unfortunately the downs too.

The medication isnt a fix all, it is more of having a platform on which we can slowly recover more effectively.

Frequent counseling is also a bonus to assist recovery especially having your studies to complete

Excellent move seeing your GP Matt!

as Bluebagger said......you are not alone

my kind thoughts

Paul

[MattRatt]

Thanks for the replies. It helps a lot just knowing there are people out there who are willing to listen.

[Broken_Biscuit_Blues]

Hi I have empathy with you as I am hevong a really nasty attack at the moment, with a weird creepy kind of anxiety parlayed on top . it's vaguely scary actually.

It's hard to give generic advice, everybody is different, their circumstances, life experiences values , aspirations etc vary so much the variables involved are almost infinite.That is why I would be wary of any therapists who locks themselves into some kind of model like cbt.

Tomorrow I am going to see my useless gp and ask for a referral to the private Psychiatrist I went to once a month for a few years and really should have continued with,.

I just hope she has space on her books to take me on again.She didn't use any model. There were no sheets to fill out or diagrams or any of the kinds of stuff the psychologists used to use when I was going through the Hospital system.

She was also much more experienced and could look after the medication side of things at the same time so it was a one stop shop .

The only advice I have for you is try and find the super human strength just grit your teeth and hang in their with your studies, because that is your lifeline brother. Bomb out there and your life could really head into the teeth of a maelstrom,

[blondguy]

Hey Matt

Thanks for posting back 🙂

I hope you have a good visit with your GP.

Biscuit has some good ideas too. (maybe a new GP for you BBB?)

We only speak from our own experiences to help & support people the best we can

you are more than welcome to post back even if you just want a chat

my best for you

Paul

[geoff]

hi Matt, when we think we have overcome our depression we believe that that's it, it's gone and it won't ever return, unfortunately that is incorrect, because we are still prone to fall back into it's claws, however because you have gone through this terrible journey of being depressed there is so much you have learnt, those trigger points and situations where you are likely to become depressed once again, so you avoid these situations.
As much as you try and stay healthy there are different circumstances that you may not have had to encounter before and could quite easily fall back into depression or have a relapse, it maybe all of a sudden or something you have tried to fight, but when this illness is approaching you at full speed, you can't stop it, so once again it's disappointing and you become annoyed, but that doesn't mean that it's going to last for years, because it won't.
When I have my relapses I now know that they will only last for a couple of weeks, before I begin to feel better, so I don't fight it as much as I did when I was stuck in it for years, I let it run it's time because I know it will go, yes you do feel as though you want to attack it full on and if that's how you feel then please do so, with all your support in place.
Mind you it's not pleasant, but I have learnt over the years what I can beat and what I can't beat, remembering that when I overcame depression there were several issues that could never be rectified, so I locked these up in a 'box' and thrown out to sea.
There was never any reason to tackle them, because if I did that would mean staying in depression, and now they have gone then I get back to life.
Your depression may seem to be stronger only because you're had a long period free of them, but remember you have been well and there is no reason why you can't be like that again.
Don't punish yourself, you are strong enough to get back to having another better life, just seek the help you need. Geoff.

[MattRatt]

@Broken Biscuit Blues: Thanks for your comment. I am glad your psychiatrist was about to give you the help you need. Perhaps a change in GP though. I am lucky enough to have a good GP now. It wasn't like that in the past though. When I first had symptoms of depression and anxiety, my GP wanted to refer me to all kinds of specialists, which I couldn't afford. It was actually when I was hospitalized during a panic attack was I finally diagnosed and got the treatment I needed.

@geoff: Thanks for your reply. It really does seem to live with you forever. You are right though, I have at least learned from my experience, and I know what situations to avoid triggering a depressive episode or panic attack. I think you also may be right about it just being a short term relapse. It was around this time of year 8 years ago that I first started getting symptoms, and my mind probably associates the weather of late Summer/early Autumn with depression and anxiety.

[Automaton]

Hi MattRatt (cool avatar!),

Fighting with it myself. Don't forget that the mind is a product of the body, and they're mutually connected. A couple of practical tips that may help lift above it (extent depending on severity, causes, and body disposition):

1. Eating regularly and reasonably healthy (lots of veggies, some fruit, modest amounts of meat) -- low blood sugar can make you feel unwell, can induce restless sleep, and cause you to sink.
2. Drinking enough water (at least 8 cups a day).
3. Mentally reflecting on the root/cause(s) of your depression, and taking action to change things (however wild) -- look for actions that will bring about change that will make you feel safer in this world.
4. Regular exercise (at least 1-2 hours a week).
5. Seeking sensory fulfillment and comfort/safety (a warm cup of tea, a snuggly, comfy blanket, etc.) -- your body needs to feel good, and get satisfaction daily, not just your mind.
6. Regular, good sleep and good rest (as much as your body dictates).
7. Distance yourself from toxic people, who are making you feel unwell, as far as possible.
8. Make a drastic change to your way of life or living environment -- e.g. take a brand new, crazy adventure, a mission somewhere, or do something you've never dared to try before (like a crazy sport/hobby).

Regarding giving proper rest to your mind and body, keep away from electronic devices (TV, computers, phones, tablets, or anything that emits light) for at least 1-2 hours before going to sleep at night. Also, make sure that your bed and pillow are truly comfortable.

[blondguy]

Hey Matt

Geoff & Automaton have provided great advice above.

Its probably a temporary relapse as Geoff mentioned.

Your GP can probably do more good than a handful of specialists. Their training has come a long way since I was in your situation in the 1980's

Automaton has covered many bases with the natural & feel good ideas which are important to aid recovery too

I hope you had a good visit with your GP Matt

When convenient for you, please let us know how you are going after your visit

my kind thoughts

Paul