New city...

[JamesS]

Hi all,

I am struggling to sleep.

I recently moved cities after being offered a dream job. Not long after, my relationship ended and I've been adjusting to being single. I've moved house, left my friends and family behind, and have started basically a new life. At first I felt very positive with so much change, but it has started to dawn on me the enormity of the change and how isolated I am. I want to feel optimistic but I only feel anxiety and depression, which I hoped I had left behind. My biggest fear is that people secretly hate me, or are holding grudges against me. I really just want to find peace and happiness.

Thanks guys

[geoff]

Hello James, it's always a difficult situation, especially when your relationship breaks up and you move towns.

If you are suffering from anxiety and depression then moving may not be the answer, although I'm not saying it's something you shouldn't have done, but if it's a job you may have always wanted, then the basis for developing other friendships.

This doesn't have to be done straight away, friendships develop over time, or simply because you both have the same sense of humour, then having a coffee together can lead onto being true friends.

The fact that you want to feel optimistic is a good sign but it can certainly increase your depression and anxiety if it didn't turn out the way you had expected, but if however, you have a job you had wanted, then once again that's the basis for stability, friends will start to appear.

Can I ask if you have seen your doctor regarding your anxiety and depression and ask them about the mental health plan, this entitles you to 10 Medicare paid sessions per year, although from this virus, sessions maybe increased, your doctor will know.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[JamesS]

Hi Geoff,

thanks for the message.

The move was always going to be a bit risky, but with the state of the economy I felt I really needed to take the chance. I was also in a good mental state before hand, having seen a psychologist for well over a year, who gave me the confidence to make my own decisions. My life in my old city was also less that ideal, as I really felt it was hard to get a decent standard of living.

I am making lots of friends, which is nice. People here are very friendly and eager to connect.

I haven't held down a long term full-time job before, so this aspect is a huge adjustment and is forcing me to be very disciplined.

But depression is hard to manage in the longer term, and arrises when you're not expecting it. That's the hardest part for me.

-James

[ypla]

Hi James,

I'm in the same boat although I've been living in the same city for 11 years. It exactly feels the same. But I'd give everything to move to a new city now. It would mean I'd start from scratch, allowing me to leave the past behind and give me a purpose in life. You got your dream job. That should fuel your passion until you get used to the city.

[JamesS]

Hey ypla,

thanks for the comments.

I am of the opinion now that a major part of my depression was connected to my former city, and an inability to exert agency over my circumstances. I had many friends in the same position, unable to find purpose and move on. This isn't to say that every place has its draw backs, but I truly feel I've found a special place to put down roots and move on with my life. I hope you are also able to find your own special place.