A warm welcome to you 🙂
I can't help but wonder whether you'd benefit from psycho-spiritual counseling, rather than seeing someone who deals solely with psychology. If you feel it's in your nature to explore the spiritual side of life but you've just gotten no joy out of your exploration up to now, this could be the way to go. If you feel this is the case, mentioning to your GP that this is specifically the kind of counselor you want to see could set you on the path that would possibly make the most difference. You could mention something like 'I feel numb, exhausted and lost. I'm in desperate need of guidance at this stage of my life in the way of my mental and emotional health. I can't manage without it'. If this GP is good, they'll not only help set you up with the right guidance, they'll also run some blood work, to make sure there are no possible physical/chemistry related issues at play. If the 1st GP doesn't deliver on your request, keep looking 'til you find one that does.
Myself, I'm a mind/body/spirit gal and from personal experience can relate to the fact that there can be so much out there under the heading of 'Spirituality' that it can lead to disorientation rather than solid guidance/direction. For me, what I basically rely on is feeling my way through life. Might sound a little simplistic so I'll elaborate. By the way, you don't have to answer the following, just putting it out there so you can hopefully relate:
- What does inspirational guidance feel like? What does a lack of guidance feel like? Does one feel light and the other heavy?
- Think of a time where you felt fully excited. How does such excitement feel? Can you feel or sense a lack of excitement quite easily?
- What does degradation feel like, when someone's degrading you? Can be a horrible feeling
I could go on but we'd be here forever with how to feel your way through life. Whether it's our thoughts, chemistry or natural self that can lead us to be sensitive enough to feel shifts, there are benefits to being so sensitive.
Definitely sounds like you're feeling a deep need for guidance at this point. A lack of orientation is a challenging feeling.
With the meditation side of things, I'll personally meditate on just about anything. From the movement of clouds, the sound of music or rain and a host of other things, right through to meditating on inspiration, you could trigger me to meditate at the drop of a hat. I've found it takes a lot of practice to not think so much.
🙂
