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My thoughts are to loud

Prettyinpink
Community Member

Hi, I'm a first time poster. However Anxiety and Depression have been together for years.

I am a full time carer and my family are just draining my energy. Any suggestion I make starts a fight and i'm exhausted. I just want to leave but can't, it was been a while since i had those dark thoughts but i let them pass as i know this is just a small moment of despair and good things will happen. But I need my mind to be quite and I just don't want to feel like this.

 

6 Replies 6

Mark Z.
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Prettyinpink,

 

Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your story. I do understand your feelings and I can imagine how exhausting it is for you. I'm not a health professional but there are a few suggestions:

 

- Establish boundaries and practice self-care: It's essential to set boundaries with your family members to protect your own mental health. Communicate your needs and limits clearly and assertively, and don't be afraid to say "no" when necessary. Prioritise self-care by finding activities that help you relax and recharge. This can include exercise, hobbies, meditation, or spending time with friends. 
- Connect with support groups: Look for caregiver support groups in your area or online. Carers Australia (www.carersaustralia.com.au) is a good starting point for finding support and resources tailored to your needs.
- Respite care: Consider using respite care services to give yourself a break from caregiving. In Australia, you can access respite services through the Commonwealth Home Support Programme (https://www.myagedcare.gov.au/help-at-home/commonwealth-home-support-programme)or the National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS), depending on your situation.
- Delegate tasks: Share caregiving responsibilities with other family members or friends, if possible. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
- Focus on the positives: Try to find the silver linings in your situation and remind yourself of the good things in your life. Gratitude exercises, such as writing down things you're thankful for, can help shift your mindset.

 

Hope it helps a bit and everything will be better.

Mark

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Prettyinpink, sometimes when you are having these thoughts, family/friends suddenly just want to disagree with you, there might not be any particular reason, but do so out of spite.

Try and do what you want, just don't tell anyone.

Geoff.

Life Member.

Lauren_87
Community Member

Hi Prettyinpink,

 

I'm sorry to hear about what you are going through. I have no experience in being a carer, but I can only imagine how draining it would be, especially if you feel that family members are not open to your ideas. Please make sure that you are looking after yourself and taking some time out, even if it's going for a walk or doing something nice for yourself. Are there any support groups in your area for carers? Sometimes it can help to vent to others who are in similar situations. Have you tried sitting down with family and calmly explaining how you feel? Thinking of you and hope things improve soon

Thank you for your suggestions.

 

I found an online carers forum (carer gateway) that helps offload some of these problems. Looking after yourself emotionally is the main priority. Sometimes I just go for a drive and a walk, to physically separate myself from the environment. You need to be able to recharge the batteries somehow. Being a carer, especially full time for your own family member, is exhausting. I care for my mum and something that is so simple to fix for anyone else is nearly impossible with her because she is so set in her ways. The resistance to compromise or flexibility can be infuriating. Check out the carer gateway website.

aliDavies30000
Community Member

I'm amazed by people who care for a family and who also work as a carer. I know one woman who cares for two grown up kids who need a lot of help and pays her family's way by caring. Some people are just amazing like that and if it was me... well... I don't think it could be me. 

 

I don't know if it's helpful to you but when my mind says things I don't want it to, thoughts which I know are not helpful to me or anyone, I literally interrupt them with "shutup."

 

On the other hand, if the situation you're in is not sustainable maybe these thoughts are signals that something has to change.