Managing depression - I need your success stories

[sadspatula]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this forum but not our pal Clinny D (clinical depression). I'm here because I can't find the light switch to this dark room anymore and I need for you guys to open the curtains so I can see outside and realise that things will get better.

Damn, no idea why so many metaphors.

I've had depression since maybe 2014 and it's been an unpleasant journey trying to find the thing that works for me. I've taken various antidepressants under the guidance of my GP with no relief so was referred to a psychologist, who unfortunately I didn't find particularly helpful. I've recognised areas of my life that I want to improve on and took action in getting myself to a better place with these. My life is good but my brain isn't. Lat year I was finally referred to a psychiatrist which I was very excited and relieved about, but next month it's been 1 year since I started seeing him and I'm not better off for it. I know I can't expect fast results with medication as they take a long time to work (or not) but right now I'm feeling very discouraged. Combined with my GP, I think I've tried 3 SSRIs, 2 SNRIs, 1 antidepressant that works with melatonin, 1 mood stabiliser and 1 antipsychotic. Right now I'm on an SNRI, mood stabiliser and antipsychotic and just recently was put onto a thyroid hormone as my blood test showed a slightly underactive thyroid (nothing major). I've been trying to exercise, eat better, socialise etc but nothing seems to be working for me anymore and I'm terrified.

That's where you guys come in. I would really love to hear your stories, particularly those of you who struggled for a long time in finding the right thing that worked for you. I'd be particularly interested in those of you who have tried various medications before finally find the one that clicked. I need to see that this is all worth it and not to give up, because I'm about ready to chuck my psychiatrist out the window and run away. I don't know what I should be expecting from a "good" psychiatrist. Any thoughts on this would be very helpful.

Thank you.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi sadspatula,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for joining us.

Success stories hey? I'm glad that you're looking for these and being so proactive in getting some help for yourself. That's not an easy thing to do when medications haven't worked or backfired in some way.

When I think about what makes a good psychiatrist, I think about someone who really knows how to listen. It's amazing how many do not know how to really listen. Good psychiatrists know that medication and mental health are complex - so it's not just your age or symptoms, but what's going on in your life - your relationships with your family/friends, if you're working/studying, what other support you have (like a therapist), how you're eating/sleeping and what you've been doing to cope. Getting a good picture of you helps them find out the best way to move forward with treatment.

The other thing that I think is really important is open communication. I'm now (finally) at a stage when I feel like I can ask questions - what are you prescribing? Why did you choose this medication? What are the side effects short-term or long-term? What are the other options you're considering if this doesn't work? Good psychiatrists will be open to these questions and give you the answers. This is you being your own mental health advocate, and that's so important.

I haven't gotten to my 'success story' yet, and I'm not really sure if I am one, but I run the risk of this post being too long and boring you. But I am at a place where I am on medication that does help, and that combined with therapy and self-help things put me in a better place. It can take a long time, and it can be difficult, and maybe therapy might help too, but it is worth it.

I hope that this helps somewhat, and sidenote: I'm totally borrowing the Clinny D name.

[Alexlisa]

Hi Sadspatula,

It’s great that you reached out here. I find maintaining hope one of the hardest parts of having mental illness. Like romantic_thi3f said, I haven’t gotten to my ‘success story’ yet, but I’ve met many people in hospital who’ve managed to find relief from their depression. But you’re right, sometimes it can take a lot of persistence. It’s good that you’re willing to continue the search for answers.

My depression has also been quite med-resistant. I’ve tried plenty without much change. I understand how hard that is to cope with when each time you feel like you’re back at the start. I try to think of it as “well, knowing this one doesn’t work at least crosses another one off the list”. Most of the time though I struggle to not feel defeated when each one fails.

The main thing I noticed about your situation is that you don’t appear to have a psychologist. For me this has been my ultimate lifeline. She gives me lots of specific skills to practice and uses various types of therapies to target the issues that I have. But one of the most important things is that she’s been there to prop me up when I lose hope, and hold onto it when I’m not strong enough to believe in it myself. I’ve grown so much in understanding myself, my illness and how to manage it as best as possible.

You mention that you saw a psychologist in the past, but didn’t find it helpful. I hazard a guess that maybe he/she just wasn’t a good fit for you. Like every profession there are people who are good at their job and people who just aren’t. I’ve had to switch psychologists a couple of times over the years to find one that was skilled enough to help me, and that I clicked with. And that’s so important - you need to click with all the people treating you. But the search was absolutely worth it. In my own experience, psychiatrists that I’ve had are sometimes not as skilled at psychotherapy because their area of specialty is generally medication based. Which is fine, but for me they’ve never been able to give me the kind of up to date, innovative and empathetic therapy that I’ve needed. I do also have a psychiatrist that manages my medication. It’s different for everyone though.

I know how hard it can be to maintain hope. You’re doing a great job so far, but please keep at it. We all deserve a ‘success story’, whatever that looks like to each of us.

Take care

Alexlisa

[LesDave]

After a 25 year battle I am off meds and out the other side. About 3 years ago I realised I was hooked on meds and my life was numb. During those 25 years I never saved a single cent. I was so numb to the world and one day woke up and realised my whole life had just gone past and I was nearing retirement never happy or sad and with no savings, little superannuation, and no friends. To be honest about where it started, I had some really traumatic experiences, so I'm not convinced it was 'true' depression, or difficulty dealing with 5 years of one hit after another. It took me 2 years to get off the meds, and the final few months was awful withdrawal - I even fell over after fainting and broke 3 ribs falling down a retaining wall! Getting off the meds reintroduced me to anger, sadness, happiness. I realised one day I had not cried for over 12 years. I started watching movies that made me cry so I could feel real again. I then learned about my anger. My anger is simply fears, so I discovered self awareness, toxic shame, and acceptance and commitment therapy. Some days can be a real struggle as I'm confronted by the position I'm in now because I let my life go by, and I have to bring myself continually back to the here and now and forgive the past. Here's the deal, we're all on this rock screaming through space and none of us are getting out alive. I have to stop taking myself so seriously and realise we're all really lucky we aren't struggling with this stuff in a 3rd world country. I'm really much more satisfied with life now. And I realise being happy isn't a natural default position.

[Aeroboi]

Hiya,

I have suffered from a few mental illnesses for most of my life, arguably my entire life.

It was all i ever knew so i never sort help until i became suicidal, for the past 5 years i have been struggling with Severe Treatment Resistant Major Depression Disorder and Generalised Anxiety Disorder.

It was about 3 years ago that i finally sort help, my GP referred me to a psychologist and my psychologist advised my GP that i required anti-depressants. I dont think my GP really understood my situation and placed me on a second line SSRI that i didnt take to well, so i stopped taking it within a few week with no benefit.

I continued my CBT for several months before i found a new GP that understood my situation, whom immediately placed me on a first line anti-depressant, with the intention to try a few and potentially a combination of medications. This anti-depressant enabled me to finally be somewhat productive, it was my first tangible piece of progress.

after 7 months of mild success with the antidepressant, i finally got my psychiatric review. It was recommended to stay on the current SSRI and add in an Anti-psychotic as a sort of booster, but this was off label and expensive so an alternative was also recommended, an NaSSAs anti-depressant.

After 6 months of success with the SSRI and NaSSAs i held a job and ceased my CBT, as there was no further benefit to its continuation. I switched over to the SSRI and Anti-psychotic as it was now affordable but had to switch back because of side affects.

I am now back on the SSRI and NaSSAs as it seems to be the best combination so far, i am permitted high dosages but have found no benefit from increased NaSSaS dosage. I currently haven't tried a high dose of SSRI as i feel that right now my medication is about right.

I still feel like i have a long way to go, if my depression becomes worse over time then i can try increasing before i go for another review, as of right now everything is stable and i don't expect any benefits from a high changed dose. i never expected to be where i am today, i never expected to regain any control over my life. its my medication that has allowed me to see that there is something (even small) i can salvage out of this mess, before i was as good as dead. So i dont see this as a full success, i have just climbed the first peak and that is something.