loneliness and depression

[cathyxd7]

hi, this is sort of my first time here.

im in year 12, I struggle with anxiety and depression. I am now finishing high school online because I couldn't handle regular school due to intense depression and suicidal thoughts.

I am alone almost all of the time now, which has worsened my depression. I constantly feel trapped in negative spirals that I just can't escape from no matter what self care methods I try.

I just feel so disconnected from everyone and everything. I moved cities last year and don't have any friends here, so there's no-one to really check up on me or keep me rooted in reality.

I feel so insane, like being around people or trying to make new friends would just be an impossible task. I also struggle with severe social anxiety. I just feel so trapped in my brain like things will never change.

So I guess I'm asking for advice or just wanting to feel less alone in this.

-cat

[Sophie_M]

Hi cathyxd7, 

Firstly, we want to thank you for your openness and bravery in sharing here. It takes a lot of courage to share, and can be the first step in a journey towards feeling better. It sounds like a really difficult time, and we don't want you to be going through it without anyone to help. 

We think that it is really important that you talk to someone about these thoughts and feelings, so please give the Beyond Blue helpline a ring on 1300 22 4636 to talk things through with the lovely counsellors there. A few more options are KidsHelpline on 1800 55 1800, Lifeline on 13 11 44, and Headspace on 1800 650 890. All of these options are also available through webchat, if you'd prefer: 

• Beyond Blue 
• Kids Helpline 
• Lifeline 
• Headspace (9am-1am AEST) 

Is there anyone helping you with this at the moment? This could be a family member, a GP, a psychologist or psychiatrist, a school counsellor or trusted teacher. If not, we want you to remember that our helplines are here for you, 24/7, and can help you to find support in your community, as well as working through your feelings with you in the moment.  

It sounds like you're dealing with a lot, and we're so glad you could share here. Completing school remotely while going through depression and anxiety can be incredibly isolating, and we really don't want you to feel that you're on your own. It can make a real difference having someone to talk to, so do reach out to the helplines and webchat options.  

Thank you again for posting to the site. You never know who else might see your post and feel less alone in their own experiences.  
 
Kind regards,  
Sophie M 

[missep123]

Hi cat,

Thank you for being so brave and opening up about how you have been feeling.

Looking back to when I was in Year 12 it was definitely not easy, I'm so sorry you have been struggling with your anxiety and depression on top of that.

Moving cities is incredibly challenging too especially when trying to meet new people! I can definitely relate to this, I moved countries during high school and I was really worried about settling down and meeting people I could feel comfortable with. It is definitely tough but you will definitely meet like-minded or people you click with, unfortunately it does take some time (or atleast for me it did!).

The fact that you are reaching out here shows me that trying to make new friends will not be impossible, you seem approachable, kind and genuine! These are amazing qualities to have.

Social anxiety is so difficult too - we get into our minds and overthink even how or when we say 'hi'. It is something I think a lot of people can relate to. What I found myself is that when you find people you start to become comfortable as the social anxiety lessens and you begin to feel safe.

Are there any facebook local groups you could join or any hobbies you like doing? I know for example that there are groups for people who like knitting, painting, watching anime etc. If it gives some hope in university there are clubs with like minded people that might make it easier to socialise with!

I'm definitely here for you!

[Gambit87]

Hi Cat

Good on ya for reaching out. I know how difficult it can be and it take alot of strength and courage to do so!

Depression and anxiety is can be so brutal. It shuts you down, it makes it so difficult to do normal everyday tasks. It makes you feel so trapped and alone and you feel like no one cares.

My psychologist said to me that when your in recovery, you can usually pin point when depression sets in and for me, depression and anxiety set in when I was around your age (I'm 34 how and I didn't seek help until I was 33). For years I felt like a empty robot going through the motions.

After a year and a half into my journey of getting my mental health together, I feel the grip of depression and anxiety loosening. I do still get my bad days, on those days I take a step back, forgive myself and take things a little easier. On my good days (which out number the bad) I walk around with a smile on my face.

Its hard and draining and its a battle sometimes, but its so worth it.

First thing - YOU, cat - are not alone.

I encourage you to reach out - family, friends, helplines, here. Being about to openly talk about your depression and anxieties really helps lift the weight off the shoulders.

here for you!

[smallwolf]

Hello there and welcome.

Loneliness is a real problem these days. I worked from home for many years and sort of separated from community. It can give you a lot of time to think about things. Good and bad. Socialising becomes more difficult. And for myself becomes a vicious cycle.

I think we all need some sort of connection with others in areas where there are common interests.

So ... What sort of things are you interested in?

I would like to chat with you some more if you like.

[Isabella_]

Hey Cat, welcome to the forums 🙂

How do you feel about your decision to move to school online? Do you do any zoom classes for online learning, have any group chats with people doing year 12 online?

Would it be possible to return to in person schooling for a couple days a week if you think this would be a better alternative?

Moving to a new city is so much harder on your depression, especially coupling that with being alone all of the time. As someone with pretty bad social anxiety also, the prospect of making new friends for me also feels impossible.. thinking about it is daunting and it feels like it's going to harm me in some way. Thankfully this has improved with therapy and anti anxiety medication, but I still waver in and out sometimes.

I live in a remote area while doing uni online.. the main thing that has gotten me through socially is joining facebook group chats from people in the same classes as me, joining discord servers, playing games and calling my friends, using houseparty to watch movies with them.

I thought I should ask.. have you told your parents/family members/friends about what you're going through right now? Have you ever considered visiting a GP to discuss some next steps, and is there anything holding you back from doing so?

I hope I've been of help in some way and would love to hear from you. I'm proud of you for reaching out 🙂