It feels easier to push people away and hide, than try and explain how bad I feel.

[Anna_Banana]

I find I'm becoming increasingly reclusive as | get older.  Whilst I know that people with depression are discouraged from isolating themselves socially, I just find life is easier for me this way.   I mainly only associate with fellow sufferers because nobody else understands and they say stupid stuff like, "just think positive" or "but you have a lovely house/son/husband/life etc", and all the usual stuff we all hear.   And as I approach the outskirts of 50, I just can't be bothered trying to explain myself to people who don't understand and never will.  Is it really that bad to protect myself from these well meaning but totally clueless people?   I mean, even people in my own family haven't got a clue what my life is like!   I recently told my brother about my life long battle and he has stopped talking to me!!!!  Luckily I have a very supportive husband, as he has PTSD and totally understands what this disease is really like.   Does anyone else push people away?  And, is it really that bad to be semi-reclusive, if that's where I feel safest?   I don't mind my own company to be honest and I have 5 lovely pets who love me regardless of my mood.  So what if I live like a hermit!!!    Shouldn't we all do what makes us feel most comfortable?    

[Cherpieus]

My husband thinks people with 'Depression' would be fine if they just did this, or did that etc. etc.

He thinks it about me too I know. He rolls his eyes or changes the channel when there is something on tv about mental illness. The reality is this is the attitude of many and it doesn't just come from ignorance but from a lack of compassion.

There's no point in trying to get people like this to understand. They don't want to. I find people who are like this put other people down to cope with their own feelings and make them feel better about themselves.

Similar to  you janazantar I change jobs every 2-3 years because after people have seen me break down crying their opinion of me changes.  I feel like I was to change jobs at the moment because I'm not coping with my depression at the moment and had to talk to my boss about it.  Although he was good, I am worried now his opinion of me has changed. This is the longest I've ever been in the one job - 3 and half years. I'm going to try and push through to make it to 5 years so it looks ok on my resume. 

It is so wearing dealing with an illness like this for so long. Just when you think it's under control... bam! It knocks you for six and it's like you're back to where you started. 

All I can say is hang in there.  I say that to myself every few minutes of every day.