Is this Post Natal Depression?

[Nerhew]

I am a new mother, my baby is at 12 weeks now and I don’t have any problem looking after her. I really love my daughter. But since I had my baby I keep on crying and thinking of negative things like hatred and sadness. Even if there’s no reason. Because it all started with this.
I am with my mother-in-law and I do not want to trust my daughter with her care. It is because when my baby was born she was putting powder and using alcohol on my newborns skin which is for me whats the point??? ALCOHOL??? Is my baby infectious for her to sanitise my baby???
Her reason is for my baby to have a good smell. And I am like HUHHHHHH???? Even if you dont put anything on baby they still smells good because they are baby. They don’t sweat! Now seems like I am very protective mother because I started to get paranoid everytime she’s looking after my bub. What I want should be followed, the way how I care. But if my in-law doesn’t follow what I said i feel like a bomb that will explode, however I dont show it infront of her, I will tell my husband to let her know. But that issue keeps on going and if it doesn’t solve I just cried and argue with my husband. I feel that my husband is on her mothers side and having this feeling I don’t want to see or talk to her mother all the time, and thats what she was doing as well she stays in her room all the time, even ask my husband to cook for her eat her dinner inside her bedroom which makes me angry because we are raised by our parents that every meal time we must have it in the dining. I even hate what she’s doing because my husband just came from work and she still wait for him to cook for her. Sometimes I just even ignore her even if I heared what she said because I really hate her since I had my baby. For me she is like the evil mother-in-law trying to be perfect. I don’t know what psychological issue I am having right now.

[geoff]

Hello Nerhew, and a warm welcome to you.

I'm not qualified to say but from my own experience when my wife had PND I would suggest that it could well be PND but a doctor needs to give you a diagnosis.

My wife felt the same way as you do and she was diagnosed as having PND and although the circumstances are slightly different as my Mum didn't stay in her room and it only happened when we visited my parents.

I know exactly what you are saying and can I suggest that you book an appointment with your doctor, they may refer you to a psychiatrist who will diagnose you and may prescribe medication, that's a decision you need to make.

I know how awful you are feeling but not sure if your MIL is staying with you full time or part-time and there will be others who will reply back to you.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Nerhew,

Thanks for your post. I’m sorry you’re struggling so much with your MIL right now. It sounds like she’s being incredibly unhelpful right when you need it the most!

You said ‘I don’t know what psychological issue I have right now’ but the way I see it - your being a mum. You want the absolute best for your baby and yet it sounds like what your MIL is doing doesn’t really align with what it is you want.


I imagine that even though it’s frustrating, she’s doing all these things because she just wants to help. She most likely did the same with your husband. Old habits die hard. If she didn’t care - she wouldn’t want to help at all. But yet it’s tricky because her helping is not helping!

I wonder if it would help to try and set some boundaries - that way you can feel a little more in control. I’m not sure what that might look like for you but it might help.

The other resource that I want to recommend is PANDA. They are an organisation dedicated to helping women with pre and postnatal depression. They also have a free helpline - 1300 726 306. You’re totally not alone in this.

Their website is https://www.panda.org.au/

Hope this helps,

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Nerhew,

I also found these threads that might help -

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/general/search-results?keywords=mother%20in%20law

A lot of these threads have both personal stories and advice from people who have been in similar situations.