Is this a phase

Unknown123 · ‎05-07-2015

Hi,

This is my first use of a forum so here we go...

I am in the middle of trying to understand what is going on with me. For the last 6months in particular i have been feeling pretty low. Many would say that i 'tick the box' for depression. I have very low motivation, i have lost my enthusiasm for things i used to love, i have no sex drive, i have put on a significant amount of weight and i no longer feel like the fun, creative and spontaneous person i once was. At least once a week i tell myself that i am going to change or try harder but i never do and these moments always pass.

I have a beautiful partner of three years. She is my best friend and there is no one i feel more comfortable with. We are very different in personalities, life experiences and backgrounds. She knows too well that i haven't been 'right' for a while and she is taking much of this 'blame' on herself. However, i think that i am projecting this guilt or blame on her. Superficially i think i blame and resent her. That my being in a relationship with someone that is so different from me has lead me to becoming a person that is now withdrawn and 'spiritually' lost. Where i would have once jumped off a cliff into a pool of water, she wouldn't even consider it. Right now, i'm bringing her down. I hate what i am doing to her and to myself.

I feel lazy, lost and and disconnected. Am i depressed or am i just going through a faze... I'm also not sure that if i knew the answer to this that i would feel any better.

Narniakid · ‎05-07-2015

Hi Unknown123 and welcome to BB!

Your story sounds very similar to mine, back when I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety almost 6 years ago. If there's one thing I learned, it's that getting help is so crucial for that first step towards recovery - and there's nothing wrong with that! So many people have this crazy idea that being diagnosed with a mental illness somehow makes them a weaker person, and it's almost ironic, because living with a mental illness is one of the strongest things a person can go through. Depression does not define a person, and you are no less a person if you have it.

Take a trip down to your local GP, and they'll be able to do some tests and stuff to figure out what's happening with your mood, and if it is depression, they will refer you to a psychologist. There is no shame in trying out a number of different psychologists either - I went through about 5, but once I found the right one, I've managed to turn my entire life around. Make sure you are comfortable and are willing to open up to your psychologist - a good idea is to keep a diary, and take that in to your sessions.

Your mood has reached the stage that it is affecting the one you love, and so it's time to take the next step to fixing the problem. You can do this! Have a read up on the information about depression and the treatments here on BB, and also get your partner to read the resources for carers of people with depression.

Good luck and let me know how it goes!

Crystal

Positive_growth · ‎06-07-2015

Before I start let me say depression is very common and there is no shame on it everyone will have it in there life at some point. I myself used to have third stage depression I suffered since kindergarten till I was 21 I have felt true pain within I tell you this so you can feel Your not alone in the struggle.Ok so from what I see there's a lot depression starting to form. It sounds like your in between 1st and 2nd stage of depression. Don't stress too much this can be easily fixed you haven't progressed to the lowest state yet so better chance for recovery. there are stages to beat depression that few know.1. Understand what is depression and how your effected by this - in turn you will help you get a grasp of what's happening to you.eg Frowning all the time, Night terrors, Suicidal thought and Even actions you've done without questioning yourself.2. Fix your body : No Smokes, Defiantly no Drugs it will only send your body haywire, Eat healthy- Fruits, Multi vitamins, breakfast, lunch and dinner MUST DO.20 Minutes of fitness a day minimum , 3 liters of water daily, Cut back on sugars and salts if your a have bit too much and 5 minutes a day with deep breathing eg Breath as much air posible hold 3 seconds and breath out slowly by following the fitness you'll find sleep easier and a lot better. Keep routine of this as much as possible I know it sucks I KNOW but it's the only way to tackle depression & it takes months, even years to rite off depending how far along.3. DO NOT STAY ALONE or shut others out. Your mind will tell you to leave everyone behind it like the animal kingdom e. g. When an animal is sick it chooses to hide in a corner and die.4. Once you've done those steps we can move forward.All ready you'll find yourself happier if not and your still depressed then it's not the body that's hurt but the mind. A psychological issue which you should tackle at the source. Heres some help in regards to psychological help- Look at positive quotes and think about how that quote can fit your life eg (I look to the light so i may watch the shadows fall behind )Here are some occurances of depression.1. Sex life 2. Bullying/Harassment 3. Physical body is unhealthy 4. Anxiety 5. Thinking of the worst outcome.if you wish to know more than reply to the post

Neil_1 · ‎06-07-2015

Hi there Unknown

And welcome to Beyond Blue.

I see that NarniaKid has already reached out to you and has provided you with a wonderful response and her suggestion of seeking out some professional kind of help is a very good one.

Reading your story, that was one of the things I was going to raise also, but as NarniaKid as already done so, I can only agree that you might be able to get along to a gp and to see what might be happening.

I do like the part where you’ve written that you tell yourself once a week that you are going to change – ok, so it doesn’t happen, BUT the key here is that you are thinking about it. That’s a good sign and keep this up, but instead of aiming to change too many things in one go, why not write some things down for what you’d like to change and commence on, say just one item. And don’t make it for a week, but make it an unlimited ending for a particular goal. For instance, with regard to weight that you’ve mentioned and this is always a (pardon the pun) biggie for so many people.

There’s usually two key factors that contribute here (no way am I suggesting they are the only two, but for the purposes of this reply, let’s just look at two). What goes into your mouth and what efforts for exercise are happening. These two really do go hand in hand, so if you’re serious about trying to make a change, and I’m hearing that you are, it’s always the first step which is the hardest.

Let’s look at say, snacks – this could be totally wrong and if so, well, I’ll find out or I’ll try something different to suggest. But if you snack on stuff like, chips, chocolate, etc, obviously these things are NOT good for the body. Alternatives I like to use instead of these are to have some nuts (cashews or almonds) are good ones and in moderation are very healthy also; an apple or banana; or sliced up fairly thinly, carrots or celery (ok, the last two can be a bit bland, but really, I don’t find them to be that way). And I know that by eating things like this, not only is it healthy for me, but it will give you nutrients that your body craves as well as not being nearly as fattening as any other bad ‘treats’ that could be eaten.

In my next post, I’ll get onto the mega importance of drinking lots of water.

Cheers

Neil