If I have to do this alone, where do I start?

[Mares73]

Hi all

Geoff and I are in the middle of a discussion about this which we are working thru separately.

several weeks ago I was suicidal, my thoughts were out of my control & I would of done anything to feel better but nothing worked-it took time & talking on here to get through that terrible period. I'm now seeing my Pyschiatrist again & she believes I've gone as far as I can with medication. That there are issues in my life I need to confront in order to ever get better.

i wondered what you all thought? I'd always believed it was so debilitating that there was nothing I could do but endure it.

But now I've been told depression can be overcome by improving Selfesteem, having a purpose, challenging negative thoughts & confronting my fear & avoidance. My pysch said 'depression doesn't control you unless you let it'. She also suggested a book called "Beating the Blues" which doesn't provide for depression except challenging behaviours. 

i feel overwhelmed. If I have to do this alone, where do I start?  Would appreciate opinions Lve Mares

[Dennis38]

Hello Mares

First depression does not define who or what we are, does it impact who we are, yes, does it define us, no. I do have to agree that meds can only take us so far the rest of it we need to deal with our issues, unfortinatly some times the meds can muddy those issues.  Personally I have been having a really ok couple of months, a few bouts of depression and self doubt, but that is my "normal".

Then a while back some old memmories that I had stuffed way down deep suddenly came screaming as if fired from a cannon back into the forefront of my memory, not even sure what the hell triggered them, but it was a bit of abuse, both physical and verbal, from a crazy aunt I was forced to stay with for half a year when I was 15. And these memmories have really screwed with my head.  I thought I was doing ok then these repressed memmories come screaming back up to screw with me.

The point I am making is that if we do not face our past, as best as we can, some things we cant change like I cant change the memmories of being run over by a car into something "good" all I can do is expect the accident for what it did to me, and try to move forward from it, we truly are doomed to continue to repeat it over and over, it will take over and it can make it so that we stop "living". I honestly do not believe that when we are depressed that we are "living with depression" for being depressed is not living its more like a holding pattern or a nightmare to living. So I prefer to say that I am dealing with depression not living with depression.

Anyways hope you find the help that you need and the courage to do what is truly hard, stand tall and face your demons and learn what they truly are and how to deal with them.