I would like to get back some of my energy and enthusiasm

[Kyles]

Hi. I had a nervous breakdown about 9 years ago now. Since then I have been 'retired' from work, and am under the care of a psychiatrist. I am medicated at present. 

I was reading an article today which talked depression suffered by a few high profile people - John Hamm and Ruby Rose amongst them. In essence, John's story was 'got sick, took anti-depressants, now I'm back', while Ruby's was more 'have suffered from this most of my life'.

Do you/ CAN you ever get better from this? My doctors says I will never be what I was before. I feel like I have lost so much. I know I have changed a lot, but I would like to get back some of my energy and enthusiasm. I feel like I've been sick forever. 

Can anyone help me? Cheers, Kyles 

[geoff]

dear Kyles, it's million dollar question, so I will answer this about myself to start with.

I was diagnosed with clinical depression 20 odd years ago, but I know that it was much longer than this, but how can we tell unless a doctor or a psych tells us so, but along the way it was hell, so all the nitty grittys I have left out, because we know what depression does to us.

So for me you do get better, but it's not quite an easy road for this to happen, but my life has changed from one extreme to the other, so really I have begun a new life in a different perspective, that is all my previous life has been wiped away, because I had to do this otherwise with any of it still hanging on, I would still be in a depressed state.

There are still many questions which I have not resolved and never will, and do I really want to resolve them, so people say yes while I say no, and because I say no then I have the ability to create a new life.

If you say that I need to resolve my issues then that's OK but you will never be able to overcome your depression, because you will always be asking 'why did that happen to me' and so on.

I do totally understand that any type of abuse, either verbally or physically does leave a terrible scar that will need time to heal, but I'm never sure that this will ever happen to these poor people, as it's something that has started their life on an awful footing.

At the moment we have a lot of people who have had this happen to them now, and I know that these memories will be there for ever.

Some have moved on and got married with children, but all of a sudden they have hit a wall of depression and are now suffering badly.

I agree when you say 'I feel like I have lost so much. I know I have changed a lot', and unfortunately this will happen, it happened to me as well, but do I want to find out about any of this, no, because it would put me back into depression, so I have left it all alone.

There are so many occasions of 'here say' or decisions in life that I should have chosen from the past, that would have directed me in a different direction in life, but I didn't, so it's pointless for me to even consider what would have happened, and the same principle applies to my past in that all those queries I have never resolved will stay that way.

So yes is the answer for me, and those still suffering will somehow later on in life be the same. Geoff.

[Neil_1]

Hi Kyles

Firstly, welcome to Beyond Blue and it's really good to hear from you (wish it was under better circumstances, obviously) but great that you've found this site and posted your message.

Hey, not a bad post for your first one either by the way - very interesting questions you propose.

As you know everyone is different.  Everyone's circumstances are different.  While depression affects so many of us (or variations of depression) I think it really comes down to the individual as to how they will recover from it - if indeed that is possible.

It can depend on what triggered it - then it depends on what kinds of support the person is receiving, professional as well as possibly family or friends, medications, and other things like exercise, healthy living can all be influences.  The more things that can be done that I've just mentioned in this paragraph, I believe the greater opportunity there is for, if not a recovery, at least a betterment of the person's daily living.

So you're seeing a psych and are on medications - have you had the meds for a while?  Do you feel that they are helping?  Do you have a good repoire with your psych?

I do think though, that the more deep-seated your depression is, the longer it will take to get better.

Kyles, I really don't know if any of the above has been useful.  But just wanted to say again, well done for raising such an interesting question and I'll be interested to read other responses to your post.

Kind regards

Neil