I was born this way

[Sad_Mushroom]

Hi all,

I've read thousands of posts and seen all the advice and it's all good BUT I was born this way.

Nothing happened to me and my parents did not do anything to me. I was just born this way.

No one touched me as a child, I was NOT abused or felt up. I was just born this way.

I hated people from day one and thought they were all suspicious. I have never liked anyone.

I would rather hate people than get to know them because no doubt they would turn on me.

I just wanted a thread for people who thought they were born like this rather than all the threads that state something happened to make them like this.

Nothing happened to me....I was born like this.

SM

[blondguy]

Hey SM

Thankyou for the original post and good you!

You have brought up an interesting point about being born they way we are whether its anxiety or depression related. We can have genetic reasons for having a mental health issue for sure. Just my opinion if thats okay SM....I believe that depression can be in our genetic make up sure. (we weren't born with it)

After studying anxiety/depression for 35 years I have learned that our 'formative years' of 1 to 3 years of age lay the foundations of our mental well being. We are a sponge that absorbs everything during this period...whether its a nervous parent or an environment that is not beneficial to our development

I do agree with you that mental illness can be genetic as well (born with it)

Good thread topic SM and its only my opinion 🙂

My Kindest

Paul

[demonblaster]

Hey Mushy ( I usually abbreviate names out of affection but if you don't like this one tell me darl, I saw someone else said that and didn't want to call you sad)

Anyway good thread btw

My thoughts are there's a reason for everything. I know you'd probs be saying yeah I was born this way but I mean a reason why.

Do you think and I hope this isn't offensive cause definitely not meant to be I assure you 🙂 possibly an undiagnosed MH issue?

This point is I realise not everyone's way of thinking and respect that. I think there's something in reincarnation, possibly our previous lives continue into our new bodies that are transport I think for our souls that are us.

As you mentioned the chance of liking someone then being hurt, I wonder if in your early yrs something happened (not saying your parents, they sound really good) maybe with another child or someone that's been forgotten. Dunno.

You know I've seen you and liked you from go, you don't come across that you don't like people which is magic in my book

Paul interesting what you said about yrs 1-3 being the most formative yrs. I also heard yrs ago that we're at our most creative when we're 6 yrs old. Maybe less inhibitions, dunno but found that interesting too.

[JessF]

Hello, what an interesting topic.

Pondering big 'why' and 'how' questions can be fascinating, and instil a sense of curiosity about the world and how it works. Inheriting things from our parents for example, I love looking at old photos and seeing family resemblences coming through in generation after generation.

Where that can be less helpful is in talking about more negative traits. Finding out or pondering where something like this comes from might help to calm a sense of personal failing, for example, knowing you have a family history of depression can help you feel less like your own depression is some kind of personal defect.
The flip side to this, though, is when thinking you're 'born this way' stops you from taking steps to improve your life or manage or illness. "I was born this way, therefore I can't..."

At what point does born this way become an excuse rather than an explanation?

[Mdy]

Yes. We can be born this way. As a Dr once told me that I had a chemical imbalance & possibly had it all my life. It took 40 + years to find this out.

I too have no reason to be or feel the way I do . I had very supportive parents even though they struggled through life themselves. They gave me love & encouraged me to believe in myself. Which was fine until I had to step out into the real world.

Yes we can be born like this , but if we don't like it then we have to find a way to change or just accept it & move on.

Not an easy challenge, but a possible challenge.

[Sad_Mushroom]

Hi Paul,

Thanks.

I know I was born like this. Not the depression and anxiety, they came later. I know from many years (just like you) of studying and working on issues.

I was born from an alcoholic mother and the 2 children before me, died due to alcohol dependency issues. My joints were not formed properly and I am sure other things were not formed properly either. Including my brain.

Part of my anxiety (OCD) I have learnt may have been due to my father's actions. That cry babies have when they crave support and need to feel safe, my father used to ignore. He thought he would "toughen me up". So my brain never learnt to make those 'feel safe' chemicals that babies get when they cry and a parent comes and hugs them. (serotonin) The slow down, feel safe it is all OK now chemical.

My brain never made serotonin so overcompensated by making more adrenalin. I was always on a hype.

Don't get me wrong, my father was wonderful but he hid my 'quirks' and allowed me to go along until I was 21yo. By then it was too late to stop me.

I think the anxiety and depression came from the lack of serotonin and the boost of adrenaline.

I know I am over the anxiety and depression but I still hate people. I do not like being around people and I do not like making friends. I thought once the anxiety and depression left I would be "normal" but it's not happening.

SM

[Sad_Mushroom]

Hi JessF,

I am almost 52yo and at 26yo I thought I could wear a mask. It did not work. We are not talking an anxiety order from genetics here.

My post was for those who were not abused, bashed, raped or anything that caused their "issues" but rather those that had nothing bad happen and had issues anyway.

I sometimes look and think,,,people try to connect their MH issues to something bad that happened in their lives and blame their MH issues on that event.

What if there was no event?

You say "like this" What is this? MH?

I have been nominated for Volunteer of the Year Award for my efforts in volunteering. I have had 12 foster children.

I do not think I am making any excuses for anything.

I am trying to be honest.

Not every MH issue is caused from a traumatic event.

SM

[Sad_Mushroom]

Thanks Mdy,

That was my issue too.

Was on different meds for various reasons for years until one Doctor said that big thing.....you were born like this with a chemical imbalance.

Thanks so much for joining.

SM

[blondguy]

Hi SM

Thankyou for being a part of the Beyond Blue Forum family

I also think that a part of our illness is genetically linked. Just for me I dont want to resign myself to that mindset without doing everything I can to become better than my own dad was. I think that our upbringing is a huge catalyst for whether or not we feel the way we do

JessF has been on the forums a lot longer than I have and speaks from experience wisdom and her heart

JessF mentioned "when thinking you're 'born this way' stops you from taking steps to improve your life or manage or illness. "I was born this way, therefore I can't..." At what point does born this way become an excuse rather than an explanation?

Kudos to you for being made a 'Volunteer' of the year...That is a huge achievement not to mention the 12 foster children you have raised too. I have enough difficulty with one daughter that doesnt even live with me!

I know that many people tire of me repeating myself about super frequent counseling being a way back to having some peace and thats okay just like your opinion is too SM

Just my opinion on JessF's post....I think she was writing about the benefits of counseling compared to saying the lack of our serotonin is due to genetic factors and not tackling the issue

You made a great point about people trying to find a specific event in their life to justify their anxiety/depression

I used to do the same in the 1980's with no success. Just for me the frequent therapy was the only smart move I made to find some peace

Your presence is always a gift to me and others sad mushroom

My kind thoughts for you

Paul

[Sad_Mushroom]

HI Paul,

Good points and I thank you for them.

I agree, most people think 'therapy' will help them.

I am so over that. I can go one week and the "stat" is I am fine and the next day I am prescribed meds.

Been this way for too long and play the field.

I guess I was seeing if others thought they born this way,

SM