I need a release!

[rhombusslope]

Hi, I have been feeling depressed and I’m not sure who to talk to. I was in therapy for 5 years but haven’t been for about 3 years. Felt everything was good and healthy for such a long time, but started to dip back into depressive thoughts about 2 months ago. I’ve become mean and irritable at work, which makes me feel worse and more anxious. I hate complaining because, on paper, my life is good. I’ve stopped talking to my friends, and when they reach out, I act bored and uninterested which isn’t a great incentive for them to keep wanting to talk to me. I seem to purposefully isolate myself which makes me angrier and more depressed. I feel like my lack of social skills and low energy and impatience with other humans is a curse - how can I navigate through work and my goals if I can’t face others without feeling like I’m being awful and rude? Sometimes I feel like having introverted traits isn’t adaptive in our society, where the focus is on friends and connections and talking and laughing. I find conversation hard, and if I’m not being entertaining, no one seems to have an interest in me. I’m about to turn 30 and all my friends are single and still seem to be having fun. I’ve got a lovely partner, and just bought a house, but it feels like this made everything worse and none of my

friends seem to have much in common with me anymore (ie, not going out, having to penny pinch, doing renovations and working extra hours). I’m not sure what I need but would be nice to hear from others transitioning from 20s to 30s or older people who’ve been through this already. Right now, it seems like life is all work and no fun! 

[Bob_22]

Good to hear you're feeling less alienated rhombusslope. I hope the session or sessions with your uni counsellor are going well. In my experience, it's perfectly healthy to have a good mix of "socialising time" and time to yourself. As someone who finds support from friends and family but naturally leans toward spending time by myself - I try to remind myself to do something social at least two or three times a week. This seems helps me immensely. And obviously your social needs fluctuate based on what you're experiencing too! 

Keep us updated on if you find any interesting hobbies or activities that you find beneficial! 🙂💙

[rhombusslope]

Thanks Bob_22 - have to wait another couple of weeks to the session (seems like everyone is waiting for services these days!) but I'm looking forward to it. Yes, I agree with you that it's good to stay connected. While it is comfortable in my little bubble, it makes things harder when I do have to come out of it - it's like going on a run after a big break with no exercise. It's good to spend time with nice people who don't make you feel more stressed either - am friends with some tough love / 'just harden up' type thinkers so they can be a bit of a chore when I'm feeling a bit anxious haha.

Felt unsettled today so decided to go boxing and punch out my nervous energy in between study - loved it! Hope you are well 🙂

[yggdrasil]

It sounds like you're doing a fantastic job pursuing the things that will help you feel more confident around others when you need to be - well done and keep at it! Best wishes,

yggdrasil