I'm scared that I'm relapsing.

emj1308 · ‎10-05-2019

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety 5 years ago, however have been managing it really well over the past 2 years. In jan of this year, my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer. This was obviously devastating news but I felt like I had been managing it well. Lately, I've been having issues with some of my friends and have been feeling really alone and isolated. I'm always stressed about money and work, so much so that the "stressed" feeling feels like numbness. Over the past two weeks I've been feeling down and haven't been able to pull myself out. I feel like I'm relapsing. I've been trying to do things that I know clear my head or make me feel good (self-care), but nothing seems to get me back on track. Uni is really busy at the moment and I have placement coming up soon - I'm scared to graduate next year but it's really important to me that I do because it might be the only milestone my mum will be here for... I used to love going to work but now its a place that just brings so many negative (the friends I've had issues with work with me too). I always feel so hurt and upset over small things. For eg. three of my friends (who i don't have issues with) went out together tonight and didn't invite me, and I feel so incredibly sad and left out and like these girls don't like me anymore - even though I know I'm probably overthinking it. I have the most amazing boyfriend, but I just find myself getting mad and short with him when he's done nothing but try to love and care for me. I feel like I'm lying to my parents by saying that I'm fine. I feel guilty because I feel like this unshifting feeling of sadness has nothing to do with my mum being sick, even though thats the biggest and most important thing to be sad about. I feel like big traumatic things that I've been through are slowly accumulating and I don't know how to cope with my feelings anymore. I don't know how to ask for help or if I even want it. I feel alone and like no one understands. I feel overwhelmed and exhausted. I'm just feeling really lost at the moment.

white knight · ‎13-05-2019

Hi, welcome

Well, who needs a holiday?

As a young man I skkipped holidays and afyer 7 years doing that, fell in a heap.

Holidays allow you to get things into perspective and forces a break between you and other people.

Easy to say but limiyed finance might stop you. It shouldnt.

Google

Beyondblue Topic cheap recovery idea, camping

Even if you font like camping two nights away is so beneficial.

I'd also try finding new friends.

Google

Beyondblue Topic they just wont understand, why?

TonyWK

Alexlisa · ‎13-05-2019

Hello Emj1308,

Welcome to the forums ☺️ I’m sorry it took a few days for a response, but I’m very glad that you reached out.

It sounds like you’re having such a tough time. You have a lot going on, but I think maybe your Mum’s diagnosis has made your ability to cope with the smaller things harder. I was wondering if it would be a good idea to think about seeing a psychologist? The sadness of your mum’s illness isn’t something you should have to deal with alone. And there are people out there to support you. It’s great that your boyfriend is so supportive, but sometimes we need more professional help. Will you consider it? If you go to your GP you can ask for a Mental Health Care Plan which will allow you to see a psychologist for free 10 times per year.

I was wondering if you might also like to reach out to the Cancer Council. They have resources for families of people with cancer. In particular, they have a phoneline that people with cancer and their families can access for support on 13 11 20.

They also have an online forum for families and friends at:

https://www.cancer.org.au/about-cancer/online-resources/cancer-council-online-community.html

It’s great that you have the awareness that you could be heading into a relapse and I’d like to encourage you to keep reaching out for help. Maybe think of your post here as your first step? I don’t want you to have to do this alone and you and your family will need a team of people around you to help you through this time. You deserve it, I hope you know that.

Please take care

Alexlisa