I just don't fit.

[Gazb]

Hey,

I apologise in advance, as I'm not much of a writer (or speller) and this is pretty much off the top of my head.

I've been having a bit of a hard time over the last few years, I feel like every time an opportunity comes my way I stuff it up or I get really excited and it falls through. I make plans to better my life (study or start a business or change jobs) but whenever I get close I freak out and quit on it, I can't commit to anything because I've been so horribly let down in the past that I'm scared that I'll get hurt again.

I work in a job where I'm made to feel stupid and useless all the time and so I get down about that, but the economy isn't great so I worry that I won't find anything better.

Basically I'm lost, I feel empty and don't really enjoy anything anymore. I feel trapped and that I'm so much better than what I'm doing now but just can't change. I feel that I'm a loser as I'm not qualified in anything and don't own a house but at the same time I don't want that either. I spend soo much time hearing about other people's problems and I take them on board and offer advice but can't sort out my own.

I'm not sure really why I'm writing this, I just want to be happy and "normal" but for some reason I'm never satisfied.

cheers

-Gary

[SourceShield]

Hey Gary,

Thanks for joining us here, and just know that what you are feeling based on all that you have experienced...actually makes you very normal!

It sounds like you could be experiencing a few things here, but just to be sure - have you spoken to your GP, or any other professional help about this?

There could be a chemical imbalance going on, or perhaps something else that you are totally unaware of...that could be bringing this all on - and thats why the professionals are there for us.

It also sounds like a lack of self-esteem and confidence, and that does take time to come into its full fruition for all of us...you really are not alone!

If you need any helpful tips and hacks for that...let me know!

The fact that you have written means that youre ready to get to know you more, and that must be encouraged and nurtured.

Stay in touch.

Take good care of you now.

MuchLove

[james1]

Hey Gary,

Welcome to the forums, it's great that you're being very open and honest.

I think SourceShield is right on the money here. You need to have a chat to someone in the mental health profession and the GP could be a good starting point. There's a lot which could cause those things you've described and a professional is best placed to help you out.

I always felt like I was a bit...odd. Never paid any attention to it and it basically led to the collapse of two good strong relationships. Had I known before, I would've addressed it a lot longer ago but now I'm just doing the best to pick up the pieces again with my psychologist.

James

[Gazb]

Thanks Guys,

I've taken your advice on board and am going to see the GP tonight, I don't know why I've been so reluctant to do so..

But yeah it's best I get this sorted as you said James it is putting a strain on my relationship and it's not fair on my partner to have to deal with me when I'm in a "downer"

I really appreciate the support,

- Gary

[BballJ]

Hi Gary,

Firstly, welcome to the forums. Well done for posting your story.

It's always a tough situation where you are a little worried about what may happened if you change jobs or do something different, scary for many people. Change is normally a good thing, I always try to find the positive in something if i plan to make a change - regarding the job.... making a change, some positive are, you may feel more useful to the new workplace, gain more responsibility, have an option to move up in the company as years go on, you will be happier on the outside. Some simple points that can come along simply by making a change. I know it's tough and many people stay in their jobs because they are afraid of if it doesn't work out.

As a basketball fan I love this quote from Kobe Brytant - "We Miss 100% of the shots we don't take", as the above advice recommended, seeing a GP and a counsellor may help alleviate some of these concerns you have and I am glad to of read in your second post you went to see a GP about it, which shows you're already making a positive change and that is on yourself and that is a great first step.. I find once you start working on yourself in a positive way, other things seem to almost start to make more sense and almost somewhat fall into place.

My best for you, keep us updated with your progress.

Jay