I just can't take another 'life lesson'

[LonelyD]

This is my first post to BB but I am at the end of my 'strength'. Over the past 18 months my life has come crashing down around me and I can't find a way out of this hell. 15 months ago my business of nearly 10 years closed due to my ill health (I was diagnosed with MS in 2008) 2 weeks before the closure of my dream my husband of nearly 15 years told me he didn't love me anymore. I had no idea he felt that way. The previous year I had 5 people around me pass away one from complications from MS on from suicide. My husband said he couldn't tell me at that point as he was worried what I would do.

So I am alone, no job, few friends with a disease that renders me useless. I have heard the 'everything happens for a reason' and 'you will learn about yourself' too many times. I am on AD's and under mental health plan, but I just don't know what to do-where to go or who I am.

I am a nice person. I am a good person. I don't need to learn anymore!!!!

[blondguy]

Hello LonelyD

A Warm Welcome to the forums

I have just read your post a few times. You have great strength to have posted especially considering what you have been through LD. 8 years ago you were diagnosed with MS. I have a friend that was diagnosed with MS and he told me how serious it was when he said he couldn't keep his balance anymore..I don't have MS but am aware of how serious a disease MS is.

I am fortunate as I dont have MS. I have had depression and acute anxiety for about 30 years. I dont really have a great deal to complain about LD, but I can feel your pain..and what you said about your husband leaving you...

Okay...firstly...you are not alone here...the forums have super kind people that can be here for you....There are many kind people that are suffering like yourself who can help give you 'some' peace..

There is no judgement here...and the forums are rock solid secure for you. You have lost your business, your husband and your health. I wont disrespect you with 'advice' you dont need.I too am on AD's and have been working up until January this year when I was made redundant.

You are smart, kind and have a huge heart....I can not only read your words but can feel them LD.

It would be great if you could post back...even if we can help with just being here for you..that may help..?

My name is Paul and you are more than welcome to post back as many times as you wish LD....

No advice....just here for you...I hope you allow us to help if you wish of course...

My Kindest thoughts for you LD...Please talk to us...

Paulx

[geoff]

dear LD, it was a brave choice to decide to post your first comment on a site with so many caring people, but can I thank you so much for doing so.
The failure from your husband leaving and not wanting to support you will be something he will probably regret as years pass bye, so in fact he wouldn't be of any help to you, but I do feel so sorry for you to become a sufferer of MS.
I also don't have experience with MS but that doesn't mean that we can't help you and give you support along this terrible journey of yours, because we want to be with you.
I have looked up what the treatment is for MS sufferers and it's very complicating, as it would probably be for you, but it would be great for you to let us know where you are at and what sort of treatment you are having.
I think that over my years on BB I think you could be the first who has MS, I maybe wrong, but we want to be there for you. L Geoff. x

[Starwolf]

Hello LonelyD,

I understand that your situation is limiting your options. So hats off to you for making the courageous decision to reach out and share your thoughts and feelings. This is something you CAN do, something you can control. Whenever the load is too heavy on the shoulders, venting/sharing is a wise way to find a little comfort.

Having had to cope alone with loss, grief and illness, no wonder you are feeling overwhelmed and fed up with unhelpful comments.

Your contribution via these forums is much appreciated. Your experience can help others put their own into perspective. It has given you insight into suffering and anguish. I am sure others who navigate these forums will relate to some of this pain and benefit from feeling understood. A great place to connect.

Please feel free to continue to post as you wish, to share as much or as little as you choose. Here you are in charge, the remote control is in your hand.

You may be emotionally scarred and physically impaired but you are in no way "useless'.

Great to have you on board.