Hi Misslondon,
Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums, I am sorry to hear you are having a hard time. I hope you will get some good ideas here. Have you had a diagnosis at all? Some time with a counselor could really help you right now.
It is sad how you are feeling but I bet you are valued, appreciated and loved. It can be hard to see these things when we are down. I think a lot of people would relate to what you are saying, life is often a compromise and I guess we have the opportunity to choose whether we will be happy with our lot, or not.
It helps me some times to put all the important parts of my life down on paper, so for me that would be family & friends, home, career, nature, passions etc, then in each area I think about what my goals are, then I develop plans to achieve those goals bringing it back to the small steps I can take today. This way I can ensure I am spending my time how I choose, in parts of my life that bring happiness, and have satisfaction knowing that I am on track. Meditation has helped me a lot to train my brain to focus on the positive and off the negative.
There is that old saying...'It's not how many times you go down that counts, it's how many times you get back up'. So we get back up, dust off, put a smile on the dial and go again.
There is nothing wrong with taking a break either, it might be hard to organise but a nice holiday is worth it. Love to you, talk any time.
Jack
