I dont want to feel this way anymore, i cant stop being paranoid about things going wrong, especially with my friends. I feel so alone and stupid... why do i feel so out of the loop. I thought this would be over, that i would have a new start since leaving school. All my friends are fine, they are coping with their depression... then why dont i believe them? I have the horrible feelings something is going to go wrong...Im going crazy. I tried counselling and that made me more anxious, now im thinking of medication... but im scared of the side effects. I am so tired, i am exhausted of feeling so alone and paranoid. I want to be happy... but i cant... I want to talk to my best friends but somehow i feel like they dont really care... or that they can't cope. They've gone through the same things but i feel like they lack empathy... like i'm supposed to be the strong one. But i can't be the strong one anymore.
Im sorry if this doesnt make sense, it hardly makes sense to me... i'm so confused.
please help, i've run out of coping mechanisms... ive been doing this alone for too long... i can't do it anymore. I need help.
