I feel like a loser

[chociloni]

I am in a really bad situation. I find it really hard to get out of bed in the morning. Ive been unemployed since June of this year. Since being so poor I have foolishly maxed out my credit card, (i wrote another post about this, and no I didnt put the whole 10 grand on there in 6 months, I would say more like 5). Ive had to move out of my house because I couldn't afford it, that was about a month ago now, Im living with my parents and theyre driving me crazy. They live in a smaller town about a 4 hr drive south of Perth. As soon as I decided to move out of my house though I actually got short term work in the town my parents live in. However I do not like it here, and its going to be quite sometime before I get myself out of this financial mess.

I am 36 yrs old and still deal with heavy depression and anxiety, have been since the age of 15. Ive been single on and off for 3 years, I actually just broke up with a guy a month ago but just after 4 months of seeing him. He ended up being involved with someone else and was very dishonest, which added to all of my woes. 3 years ago I lived in Melbourne, which really Id prefer to be living there, but I had to come back due to depression and anxiety issues. I feel my life has no hope. My only outcome I see is evenutally moving back to Perth, but I hate Perth its really boring and conservative, and is becoming too expensive because of the mining boom. I dont see myself ever meeting anyone in Perth. I dont know whats going to become of me if I cant go forward and accomplish my dreams because of debilitating depression? I have to stay comprimised living in Perth because of this. I feel like a loser. I dont have problems attracting men it's just that the men in this town arent really ever my type, I dont mean to sound superficial...but nothing interests me anymore in Perth. I am so lonely and I dont go anywhere. I have therapy and take meds but all they do is keep me alive, I want to feel things and have a real life. I dont know what to do.

[Neil_1]

Hi Chociloni  

No, I hadn’t really heard of dysthymic depression before, so that was kind of you to explain it out.  How about your GP?  Do you have a decent one who you go too?  

No no, with regard to your dreams, I was just referring to something that you wrote in your initial post and was also trying to help get your mind off your troubles, so you could think of something a bit more pleasant.  But no need to list them out … the main thing is YOU KNOW what they are and that they are still very much there.  Hold on to that, that’s a very good thing.  

How are you going at the moment?  How’s your mind treating you?  

Kind regards  

Neil

[chociloni]

Not going all that well. Last night I had a headache and stomach pains and couldnt breathe. I called an emergency number, the person on the phone talked me into going into emergency, my mum drove me to the hospital, no mental health staff were on, I only saw a regular gp. The told me to go back today at 10am which Im going to do.

Sometimes I dont like to write down my dreams as its too sad to think I may not be able to achieve them.

[Neil_1]

Hey Chociloni

That is so very not good about how you were last night.  I sure as hell hope the GP didn’t send you back home while you were still having those pains?  Did they at least do something to help alleviate your symptoms?

Can you please let us know how you got on with your visit back there today?

Ps:  I love your name … it sounds like some exotic dessert you’d get on a cruise ship or something? 

Pss:  I sure hope that you’re travelling a little better today?

Kind regards

Neil

[chociloni]

i am feeling marginally better. I think I just needed to get out all the emotion in some way.

Chociloni is the name of a song.

[Neil_1]

Hi Chociloni

Just a couple of days since we've heard from you.

Are you going along ok?

ps:  thanx for the reference to the song title ... it's always good to learn new things.  🙂

Neil