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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Jazzy07 Feeling withdrawn
  • replies: 5

Hi, just wondering what people think is best. When you feel anti social and don't want to leave the house / go out etc (just socially I still go to work every day without issue) is it best to push through and 'force' yourself to go? Or is it ok to al... View more

Hi, just wondering what people think is best. When you feel anti social and don't want to leave the house / go out etc (just socially I still go to work every day without issue) is it best to push through and 'force' yourself to go? Or is it ok to allow yourself to retreat and hide for a while? Im not sure if allowing yourself to withdraw will make it worse and create a bigger problem. If u hide for a while is it harder to come back out?

burkey I have had enough of feeling this way
  • replies: 3

I have had enough of feeling this way . I don't sleep of a night time and I will not talk to any one . I hide every time some one comes near me. We are about to lose our farm because I cant get a job . and even the doctors no I have a problem but won... View more

I have had enough of feeling this way . I don't sleep of a night time and I will not talk to any one . I hide every time some one comes near me. We are about to lose our farm because I cant get a job . and even the doctors no I have a problem but wont do any thing to help me . Why am I so sad and bitter all the time . I wish I could fall asleep and never wake up beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

MumRunner What to expect if I present to hospital ED
  • replies: 12

Hi, I'm just after some advice so that I can understand what to expect. I've been having strong suicidal ideation for at least a month now and also self harming to help when agitated or the thoughts are overwhelming. My counselor referred me to menta... View more

Hi, I'm just after some advice so that I can understand what to expect. I've been having strong suicidal ideation for at least a month now and also self harming to help when agitated or the thoughts are overwhelming. My counselor referred me to mental health several times and is concerned. I met with a new case manager on Tuesday and she indicated that I needed to consider either medication or hospital or I was very close to the choice being taken out of my hands. I have a huge amount of anxiety regarding medication, so agreed to try hospital. I have 2 weeks holidays now and was hoping I could use this time to get myself back on track without impacting my work. While very worried I was also incredibly relieved that someone else would be responsible for keeping me safe and I would have a break from constantly fighting the urges and thoughts. She then finally let me know Friday night that the program she has wanted to get me into wouldn't accept me as I'm too high risk (they are a sub-acute program) and my issues would be too distressing for others there. So my case worker said she had made an appointment for me for the mental health psych in a month! So I'm too high risk for hospital, so they wont see me for a month. And just Tuesday she told me they are very worried about me but now I'm left to fend for myself for a whole month. Anyway...I spoke to my original counselor and she has suggested I just present to hospital. I'm really nervous about sitting for hours in emergency. Also, while I have made plans forsuicide they are not immediate though I have been harming, I don't know if they'll admit you through emergency unless you're imminently about to do something if they let you walk back out the hospital doors. Also do I pack a bag in case I'm admitted? Is that weird? It hardly screams desperation if I rock up with my toothbrush and pj's. I'm rational and not out of my mind, I'm just exhausted from constantly fighting this and don't know how much longer I can hold out. My family doesn't really want to find out either. I just need someone to help me.beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636

oneday Typing this has been a big effort...please read
  • replies: 16

HiI'm new to this forum.male 55 year old, three adult kids. Married but live alone. I'm useless. I have no interpersonal skills. I have had depression all my life but only been prepared to recognised it in the last couple of years. I've never really ... View more

HiI'm new to this forum.male 55 year old, three adult kids. Married but live alone. I'm useless. I have no interpersonal skills. I have had depression all my life but only been prepared to recognised it in the last couple of years. I've never really had a friend, always the third wheel in everything. Use to kid myself that I had friends but never really seemed to be liked very much. No one ever seems to remembers my name or that they previously met me. I have had sum unfortunate interactions with people when out so I don't go anywhere now, except the chemist and grocery shopping each month. I fear interaction with others and feel they think I'm a waste of time. Its easier to stay at home and avoid seeing anyone. But it does get lonely. I'm always anxious and expect any contact will lead to me irritating someone and have them abuse me. It seems to happen a lot. For example I was walking along the footpath at the shops when a middle aged woman pulled up along side of me opened the passenger window of her car lent across a young girl in the passenger seat and said "smile it carn't be that bad" shook her head and drove off. Things like that knock me around for days, sometimes weeks. I play it over and over in my head trying to work out what I do to have it happen. I have no idea how to interact with people anymore. Most people dream of what they would do winning lotto as a release from reality. My way of relief from life is dreaming of ending it. Typing this and opening myself up for ridicule has taken a big effort. Honestly, if you have something bad to say please don't respond.beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

auschic I am sad and no one knows.
  • replies: 5

Can you relate? No one notices how upset I am. Sometimes, I don't even think I notice. I feel miserable. I just can't be bothered doing anything... I need someone to talk to. I just want someone who understands. It seems like every decision I make, g... View more

Can you relate? No one notices how upset I am. Sometimes, I don't even think I notice. I feel miserable. I just can't be bothered doing anything... I need someone to talk to. I just want someone who understands. It seems like every decision I make, good or bad, there is no one on my side. For example, I quit my job today (just a weekend job, I have another job) because I wasn't happy. All anyone can say is, "that was wrong, why did you do that, you're an idiot" even my family says this. It would be nice for someone to say, "I'm sure you made the right choice or as long as you're happy" I just wish I could talk to someone without being judged. I just want someone to understand me. Not even my own family can accomplish this small task. I'm not sure if I'm depressed. My sister has depression. Here's how I feel right now: Tired, unmotivated, sore, sleepy, sad, misunderstood and stupid. I haven't eaten all day and I'm not hungry. I want to get up and do something but I just can't find the energy to do so. I can't tell anyone how I feel because I don't want to be laughed at. My family will say 'how ridiculous, you're not upset' when really, inside, I'm dying. What is wrong with me? Also I have times when I'm in a really good mood and I'm really confident and then I have times when I'm quite depressed.

DocMuffin I was almost getting better...
  • replies: 5

I've really been trying. I did everything I was told to do but somehow it still feels like I'm plagued by the overwhelming shadow of badluck. I spend a lot of time trying to convince myself that it is just the way I feel and that the 'badluck' isn't ... View more

I've really been trying. I did everything I was told to do but somehow it still feels like I'm plagued by the overwhelming shadow of badluck. I spend a lot of time trying to convince myself that it is just the way I feel and that the 'badluck' isn't actually real. However.. it's becoming a lot more difficult to rationalise that to myself as of late. I guess my back story is that I'm a victim of childhood neglect and have had depression for as long as I can remember. I do not have a supportive family and really want nothing to do with them. For the first time in my 18yrs + of depression I sought the help of a doctor. I got a mental care plan etc etc. A month ago, my psychologist went into surgery and is on somewhat of an indefinite hiatus. The anti-depressants (in my opinion) have absolutely not effect. But back to my sudden string of confounding badluck... I missed my psychiatrists appointment due to sleeping through several alarms; a first for me. Sleep is something that has eluded me for the good part of at least 10 years and is a constant struggle to figure it out. I.e. I can fall asleep but my sleep is really poor quality, my nights are filled with dreams that don't quite allow me any peace. When people say "it was such a good sleep" or "I feel so refreshed after that sleep"I have no idea what that feeling is like and I crave it so badly. No matter how hard I try, my sleep always falls out of patterns, my life becomes less active and I end up spending the majority of my time in my bed. I hate the constant fatigue, the unquenchable feeling of wanting to be asleep hoping it will rejuvenate my mind after awakening.I planned on doing tai chi to help the anxiety to calm my mind; didn't happen due to mixing up the times. Missed a psychiatrists appointment due to a phenomena foreign to me; failing to study for an exam I have in a week due to such an inactive regime. I feel like I just need a break. For everyone to get off my back, let me laze around for a few weeks. Let me figure out my own mind; however this 'badluck' is making it all the worse. Not to mention the financial woes it keeps impacting upon me. I'm 22, yet I feel as though I have the troubles of one twice my age and experience. I don't even know who or what I am anymore. The suicidal thoughts were kept at bay thanks to the antidepressants, however that gate has since been destroyed and I'm intoxicated with new ways to end it all. I need some advice. Thanksbeyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Imagine Sorry
  • replies: 3

I want to say sorry for disappearing after my recent post. I am most grateful for the support and good advice I was given but did not respond to. I've had a terrible shock and am now very sick with a flare up of my autoimmune disease from the stress.... View more

I want to say sorry for disappearing after my recent post. I am most grateful for the support and good advice I was given but did not respond to. I've had a terrible shock and am now very sick with a flare up of my autoimmune disease from the stress. My ex husband is OK but....He (we have been living apart for 6 months) came to our house, and while I was out, attempted suicide. He was finally found by the police in hospital. He had called an ambulance. I spent most of the week at the hospital with him as he kept asking for me. I was literally spoon feeding him and helping him to walk.Now I am home, with a massive flare up of my illness and heartbroken again as despite having to deal with his suicide attempt, I am only a friend. I don't want to be in a relationship with a man who treats me as he does, and my head is too sensible to let him come back even if he wanted to, but my heart is shattered. I'm angry he has hurt me again. His depression is not my responsibility anymore and he has already hurt me so much. He should not have left me to deal with it all.My life is a nightmare as it is. I'm in constant pain, have seizures that prevent me from driving and despite working 2 days a week, I am scrounging a living well below the poverty line. I chafe against the restrictions of my pathetic little life. I am only 43 and I am reduced to reading, knitting and watching TV in the endless days and nights when my beloved family and friends are out living their own lives and I hate it. I don't want to be a burden on them so I mostly keep it to myself but I am profoundly miserable. Sometimes I even struggle to do something as simple as make a cup of tea (scalded myself when I passed out pouring water from the kettle the other night).I have tried to help myself, to find positives, reaching out to friends, working for charities etc but it's not enough.I have spoken to psychs and counsellors and am taking 3 antidepressants.Nothing helps and all I get told is to keep on going. I won't suicide. I can't bring myself to hurt my family but I desperately want out of this life. I feel so trapped.I am trying so hard... but I am so over it all. Thanks for "listening"

Blondyroses Unsure if I should go to the doctor
  • replies: 4

Hi i sufferer from chronic generalised anxiety, PTSD and mild depression. The last two or three weeks I have been struggling to be happy. I can't be bothered doing anything, going anywhere and have to push myself to just do things around the house. I... View more

Hi i sufferer from chronic generalised anxiety, PTSD and mild depression. The last two or three weeks I have been struggling to be happy. I can't be bothered doing anything, going anywhere and have to push myself to just do things around the house. I am on medication for this condition so it seems to stabilise me somewhat but as i said, I have been feeling worse. I know what my doctor will say, lose weight, do exercise, plenty of rest and eat healthily. I'm unsure if I should go and visit him and let him know I have become worse. Petal

Bielzibub The Safest Place
  • replies: 6

Considering the following 3 facts:1) Imagine this universe as a graph, with time on the x axis and the sum of all happiness of all living things, except me, on the y axis. My only goal in life is, and always has been to get the area under that graph ... View more

Considering the following 3 facts:1) Imagine this universe as a graph, with time on the x axis and the sum of all happiness of all living things, except me, on the y axis. My only goal in life is, and always has been to get the area under that graph as large as possible.2) I am 39, single and don't see any possibility of having a family no matter how much I want that to be the case. I hate daylight, daytime and most of all, being awake, making deep sleep the safest and the only enjoyable part of my life. So I have come to realise that every single waking decision and action that I take actually lowers the area under the graph in point 1.3) I am 100% sure that my universe ceases to exist when I'm gone, making the graph in point 1 null and void.beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Pal I can't help feeling like this why?
  • replies: 2

I'm feeling so overwhelmed And anxious, I can't sleep at night I'm tired all the time. I'm so moody and cry all the time at the drop off a hat, I hate this feeling and sometimes I wonder why I'm still here. Why am I feeling like this ? View more

I'm feeling so overwhelmed And anxious, I can't sleep at night I'm tired all the time. I'm so moody and cry all the time at the drop off a hat, I hate this feeling and sometimes I wonder why I'm still here. Why am I feeling like this ?