I dont see my life getting better despite how hard I try

[uplift123]

I'm new to this all so I am not quite sure what to say but any advice is welcome and I'm appreciative of it, I felt unhappy and alone for most of my life since my teenage years but lately it has been much worse. I feel like there is no hope, I'm exhausted all the time, alone, sad and I don't have a positive outlook on life despite my best efforts. A bit about me, I'm 21 year old and I'm almost done with university, I am the type of person to try very hard in all things I do. I get excellent grades and will hopefully have a good career in engineering, I work out and get lots of exercise but I am disappointing in my love life. I have never had a girlfriend before and have been told multiple times I'm not relationship material and that I'm not good looking, once by a girl who I had become friends with by helping her with the course work and I asked her out only to be rejected and made to feel inadequate because of my face. The thing is that I am quite slim and have a fit physique, but I just have a ugly face and I'm not good enough for a relationship.

I just get the feeling that those around me get the happy ending, my first found a guy she wants to be with, my friends are in happy multi-year relationships. I just want to feel accepted for who I am, someone to care about me and not overlook me for someone else, and someone to care and love me. I know that being in relationships doesn't automatically make you happy, however the feeling of not being good enough is horrible and I strongly believe is impacting me. I'm afraid to see what my life would be in 5 years time, alone, miserable and trying not to be bitter. I don't blame or hold anger towards the girls who rejected me or overlook me, I can only blame myself.

I cant turn to my family because my mother is insistent that I am incredibly good looking and every time she says that It really hurts knowing your mother is either lying to you are unable to see you for who you really are. Hence I'm here asking for advice.

[coal]

Hello man you are hard on yourself and I bet your good at chess

Im not hard enough for chess , my advise is old school

you got time one your side and if you allow it time will take care off matters that one day

wont matter. You dont gotta fight and you dont gotta surrend you just keep going regardless.

bye uplift123

[BoltRog]

Uplift123.

I'm going to be straight with you. You need to love you first. Sounds cliche` but here's the thing... those girls may not be rejecting you for your face. It is incredibly hard to love someone who doesn't first love themselves or even respect themselves. You my friend, are a smart dude - you've almost finished engineering! You're going to be rolling in the cash when you're in your job. That's an achievement you get to call yours soon. You're fit looking, awesome! That's going to work for you! You've already got heaps going for you.

2 pieces of advice for you: 1) Start seeing the good in you (even if it just starts with your biceps), and focus on that until you start to feel some confidence (ladies love it). 2) Look into charisma techniques. A good resource is 'charisma on command' on youtube. Charisma is about having that 'it' factor in you, a magnetism. That's more powerful than having a nice face (and it will help you land a wicked job and assist you in getting promotions).

If you don't believe me, here's an example. The most attractive girl at my work actually started dating a guy at work, who really wasn't very attractive in the face at all. Very average, and balding on the top. He was fit looking and she really liked him. You know how he scored her? Confidence. He has this insane confidence. You know what made her break up with him? (It wasn't his face) He turned into a manipulative jerk. She broke up with him only for his personality. She got with him cause of the confidence... broke up with him cause he was a jerk.

The lesson here is clear.... it's not all about looks, it's about you. Most of all, be kind and genuine. It might seem like girls go for jerks sometimes, but there's a difference between playing the game and working your charisma compared to being a jerk. Don't be tempted to be a jerk.

Hope that helped.

BoltRog.

[brizza242]

"I feel like there is no hope, I'm exhausted all the time, alone, sad and I don't have a positive outlook on life despite my best efforts. A bit about me, I'm 21 year old and I'm almost done with university, I am the type of person to try very hard in all things I do. I get excellent grades and will hopefully have a good career in engineering, I work out and get lots of exercise but I am disappointing in my love life."
Well, you sound like a really self-motivated guy. And that's fantastic. Don't be hard on yourself with your lack of love life. A lot of guys struggle with that, and I'd say it's not your fault. There are more virgins and guys who have never had girlfriends in their 20s and 30s then you know. They usually keep it to themselves in real life so you won't know this. But this can change, there are plenty of tools and ways of getting what you want out of a love life, and it can be learnt. You don't have to leave it to fate as much as society brainwashes us this all the time in Disney and romantic movies.

"I have never had a girlfriend before and have been told multiple times I'm not relationship material and that I'm not good looking, once by a girl who I had become friends with by helping her with the course work and I asked her out only to be rejected and made to feel inadequate because of my face."

Well, this sucks. Now I don't know what your face actually looks like. MOST of the time, when guys say this though they are not actually ugly, they just have low self esteem because they had one or two rejections and kept thinking about those rejections and creating a bad image of themselves in there mind and then constantly looked for more real-life evidence to strengthen this belief to protect themselves from further rejection. The reality is even good looking guys get rejected a LOT. Their rejections just won't appear like rejections. And you have to play the numbers game to succeed. Some girls will just be cruel and say these things, but you can't let it get under your skin because most of the time it's just an insult designed to lower your confidence or to boost their own confidence and it's not always true.

What I want you to take away is ... THERE IS HOPE. Throw away those past experiences. Most girls aren't shallow. What you need to do is act confident and play the numbers game. Ask out 3000 girls that you like to their face with eye contact and a confident voice. You will succeed with at least one even if you have an ugly face.