I do all the things I'm meant to do, why do I still crash?

[HelenM]

Ok. I think I posted my first thread in the wrong place. I'll try and be brief. For 12 years I've been living with chronic depression. The very beginning was a living hell. Over the years my depression has come and gone and I've even had a years break. The patterns of my depressions have been varied. Usually I lurch between feeling absolutely fine to feeling depressed. This can go on for months, then suddenly the depression stays away. I am not bi polar  it's how it goes. The depressions have become milder and at the end of January I went into it again, for no reason. I have the odd good day. I take meds and have been told they work ( which  I believe). What goes on in my head?. My life was going really well. I do not overdo it and live my life in a way that best helps my health. If it's chemicals, what are they doing? Do I recover because my brain chemistry sorts itself out?

I no longer do paid work owing to my health problems. I help in a charity shop 4 shifts a week. I go to a writing group. I see my kids and live with a good husband. When I'm well I live a contented life, then this comes back.

Excuse my going on but what really gets me is I do all the things I'm meant to. I've altered my life and cannot do anything like I used to. What does

my depression want? Blood?

Thanks for reading. Any advice would be much appreciated. Debs

[geoff]

dear Helen, antidepressants are meant to help out and bridge any loss with serotonin and norepinephrine, these are parts of our mind in which we are weak in, and even if we have periods of being 'on top of the world', it doesn't mean that we will stay strong forever, because we are still susceptible to break down again.

By saying this doesn't seem to put a good future ahead of us, but really it does, and the reason for this is that you have bad days or periods, but you also have your good days, but once we have depression we can have periods of relapsing, and sometimes this can't be helped, while other times it's for a reason.

I had a period where I had a relapse, and this was because I had to put my 18 year puppie to sleep, but I knew that I would improve in a couple of days, in which I did, but it still doesn't excuse me for having another one done the track.

I can't avoid this, but I will be taking my AD's probably forever, but that doesn't concern me, because now I am living a stable life. lol L Geoff. x

[HelenM]

Thank you for answering. I suppose I want it all crystal clear.  Am I right in thinking that you can't get stuck in a relapse and that in time it will pass. Is it just a question of patience?

Debs

[HelenM]

I also meant to say Geoff, that's what my doctor said: that my medication brought me up to level of a healthy person. That just shows how chemical the thing is.

[geoff]

dear Debs, at the moment for me I know that it will pass and that I will get better, and from what you have written in your first post, I do believe that you are no different to me.

Hope that helps you, but please ask anything you want. L Geoff. x