How to talk to someone when you just don't want to

[Lockup]

I've always found it hard to share how I truly feel to anyone, especially a stranger. This year I lost a close family member which has left me, well, depressed.

I feel like I need help but every time I try to talk to someone I just clam up and say something to the effect of "Actually, I'm fine". The same thoughts always go through my head...

This is stupid! There is nothing wrong stop embarrassing yourself!

Your just doing this to get pity from other people!

You're just being a big sook, man up!

So my question is, how do I talk to someone when everything in me screams not to?

[LuLu_]

Hi Lockup

I am sorry you have been going through such a tough time. Losing someone close to you is one of the hardest situations to deal with.

Well done for taking the first step. You have spoken about some of your thoughts which is a big achievement.

For me talking about how I feel is one of the hardest things for me. I use to repeat the words and thoughts in my head but when I was actually going to say them there was this barrier stopping my words. It’s like I couldn’t push anything out no matter how much pain I was in.

It took me an extremely long time to open up to someone. This person wasn’t apart of my family. I still can’t talk to my family.

I suppose for me I just tried to express something small. It might be that the day I was having wasn’t actually that great. Of course this lead to questions but for me saying one thing that was on my mind was a victory.

I suggest my only advice is to take small steps. Sometimes when you start expressing what’s on your mind slowly you are able to share more.

I am sorry if I haven’t been much help. We are all here for you whenever you wish to share what you are feeling and thinking

lulu

[geoff]

hello Lockup, as soon as someone says to me that they're 'fine' is the first indication that there is something wrong with them, I only learned this after my own bout of depression lasting for years.
There is no way you're doing this to get sympathy or pity, depressed don't go out searching for sympathy, they just want help, but it's not easy to know when you feel comfortable to even begin talking with someone, this will all depend on how well you know but more so if you trust them, because you don't want to discuss your situation to someone who is only to tell everybody and spread the word.
When you feel like this it can be difficult talking to a psychologist, so to help you along then perhaps you could write down all your thoughts on a piece of paper and then hand this very important document over to the psych, this actually breaks the ice, because normally people just freeze up when the psychologist asks them 'how can I help you', you don't know where to start.
This will also stop the 3 or 4 sessions trying to explain to them what's been happening and that's good because it frees up those extra sessions, so that the issue can be addressed much earlier. Geoff.

[MissBenthos]

Hi Lockup,

I used to tell myself I was being a sook and needed to harden up too. Unfortunately this made things worse because it delayed me getting the help I needed.

I think it's great that you have been able to post here and you are not a sook! It takes a great amount of strength to seek out help when we are struggling like this.

You can try practicing what you want to say to people or even writing it down and explaining that it's hard to talk about so here's what I wrote. Anyone who is a true friend will be supportive of you.

[LuLu_]

Hi Lockup

Im feeling like I can’t talk anymore. I am withdrawing and I think i am going back into a hole. My friends are disappearing and I don’t even cross their minds. I feel lost and alone. I hope you are doing okay. I was wondering if you had learnt anything that might help me.

Lulu