How to get interested in life again?

Damaged · ‎13-05-2014

Hi all. I have been suffering anxiety and depression for a really long time. I am really trying to beat it though I always seem to find myself repeating the same patterns because anything outside of my standard routine is too hard to deal with. My life at the moment life consists of a 58 hour work week which doesn’t leave much time for anything through the week. On the weekends I catch up on house work, sleep and maybe see a movie and that’s about it.

I have recently started going to therapy again and she told me I should find a hobby and find groups of people to meet up with,though meeting in any kind of group is kind of like hell for me. On top of that I really don’t have anything that I am interested in at the moment. Most of the time I just feel pretty empty inside. I guess I have lost interest in most things over the years.

I Know I need to socialize more if I want to improve, and there has to be more to life than work and bills though I am not sure where to start?

Maybe I am

past the point of no return?

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Damaged · ‎23-06-2014

Hi Scott.Thanks for checking in.

Feeling a bit better physically after being to physio.Have to go for a few more visits.

Hope you had a great weekend.

Talk to you soon.Cheers mate.

Hey Mary

Thanks for looking around for jobs. It is so hard the way things are right now most companies prefer to use agencys instead of advertising a position,

which is so frustrating.

Thanks too for the offer of a resume, though I had someone at work type one up recently so that is all sorted.

Wishing you all the best for your Royal Commission hearing, I can Imagine how anxiety producing that must be.

As far as life goes I'm a bit down right now due to the same reasons as before.Still trying to justify my existence. lol

I was shaking all afternoon from anxiety, worrying about something that never happened.

So yeah I guess I am a bit of a mess today, but I know the feeling will pass sooner or later.

I will post tomorrow night hopefully feeling a bit better by then.

Thanks for everything.XO

Matthew.

Hyperion · ‎24-06-2014

Hi Scott

thanks for responding about the med, although I don't want to hijack Matthew's thread, I just wanted to respond quickly. I've had another meeting with my GP and we discussed the pros and cons of the meds. Since our first meeting I did a bit of internal searching and sorting out. The results were positive so when I went to the GP I was in a much better frame of mind. The outcome was we decided I didn't need them just yet. I will be checking in with my GP in a few weeks to reassess. So for now all good.

Dear Matthew and Mary,
I feel I must apologise for my absence, I see you have both been having some tough days. I feel for both of you. I understand how strong the drive is to isolate oneself when we are in that dark place and how very alone we feel. It is moments such as those that you have to believe there are people who care and support you. I consider myself one. This may be hard to accept considering the online nature of the relationship but it is no less real. I hope you believe this and draw the strength you need from it.
Chris

Scott_Depression · ‎24-06-2014

Hi guys

Hyperion - sounds like a great plan - learn as much as you can now & reassess how you're traveling - well done!

Matthew - Must say I'm concerned about you, my friend. Where are you at with medication nowadays? I think you might need to bump psych / doctor appointments up the old list of priorities. I know you've been suffering pretty badly for at least a few months. Do you think you've accepted that you are ill and need treatment? Sorry - I'm not trying to give you a telling off - I just don't want you to suffer any more - I want you get well!

Mares - So sorry to hear of your current struggle. I can only hope that you telling your story will shine light on the horrible organisations that have protected these mongrels. Fingers crossed your story will also protect others from going through similar experiences. Are you getting psych support at the moment? I know you've discussed your psych - hope they're doing everything possible to help you

Take care everyone

Scott

Damaged · ‎25-06-2014

Hi Scott. How are you going?

I should probably make time to get to the doctor soon. I know I need treatment and I am still taking meds.

I have been struggling with anxiety for a really long time so I think may take some time to be in a better place. I have developed a lot of bad habits over the years.

Don’t worry though I’ll be ok. I know my last post was pretty negative . I have just had a rough few days. I feel a lot of the time I lack the social skills needed to deal with some situations. It can make it hard not to feel defeated at times. I am feeling a lot better as I write today though.

Thanks a lot for your help. I am planning on going back to therapy soon, just have to pay a few bills first.

Cheers Mate.

Scott_Depression · ‎27-06-2014

Hi Matthew

Make sure you don't get down on yourself - you're not well mate & need some professional support.

If you've got cash flow issues, I understand you can go to the doctors, get a mental health plan written up, then you get 10 or 12 sessions with a psych covered by Medicare. Not sure if BB moderator can confirm?

Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better - will keep checking in on you

Enjoy the weekend!

Best regards

Scott

Mares73 · ‎28-06-2014

Hi Matthew, Scott & Chris (Hyperion)

Firstly Scott can't thank you enough for your ongoing check in & support on this thread. My story is under "Royal Commission" & I'm going to update it after writing this. You are a true friend Scott. And I value & appreciate you heaps.

Secondly -Chris thank you so much for your support to Matthew & myself. I'd really like to support you & hear your story if you feel comfortable? Just hit 'new thread' at top right hand corner of depression page. We all care about you too & want to help be the best friends we can be so don't fear writing your story we all have one. I hope you get this mag.

And lastly but by far least my dear friend Matthew. I'm sorry it's been a few days I've had a bad cold so haven't been on. How are you honestly feeling? Do you have any plans this wkend? I know how bad anxiety can take over & immobilized you. How's the medication it can take up to 6 wks to work. Is the anxiety stopping you from doing what you'd like to? I'm going to spend some time job searching for you this weekend. Hey when you say you've developed bad habits can you say what they are or give an example? We all have our pain & turn to certain things when we are feeling fed up. Ok I'll start I have never been the type to drink or take any substances. But at times lately I have engaged in behaviors that are totally out of character ie i am helping an aboriginal family through the DOCS system out of my desire to help disadvantaged people YET this has put me in contact with people who drink & take substances to escape their situation. And completly out of character -Last week i was with them doing the same thing-trying to numb my feelings. This never lasts, it's just a short term block out. So I understand patterns of behavior depression can lead to. I hope you are coping & look forward to hearing from you. Lve Mary xxxx

--Mark-- · ‎28-06-2014

Hi Mares,

not sure what your story is, came here because of the thread title, was wondering if getting interested in life again was actually possible...

I am in a similar boat to you, was stood down from work based on accusations, which police and Gvt dept found that there was nothing to answer to. problem is, I've now been "hidden away" in a certain Gvt Dept because, well, they stuffed up and responded to the "complaintant" in monetary terms before actually investigating and coming to their conclusion. My lawyer, and union have both stated I was used as a "political football" due to the political climate where I live, and have both stated there's nothing I can do unless I have financial backing. Great to know, makes nothing easier...This has torn my family to shreds, they don't know what to do, they reeive comments at their work sites and my kids at their schools, they don't what to believe - especially after I was in a very dark place and took actions to try and stop the situation from a personal level.

All I can say to you is, get yourself prepared for what you need to say at the RC, prepared for talking to someone afterwards too, you'll need it. I really hope everything works out well for you. if you need to talk, I'm here.
Best wishes,

Mark

XX

Damaged · ‎28-06-2014

Hi Scott

Thanks for your support man.

As far as therapy and cost goes. I had ten visits covered by medicare last year. I think you can only do it once though. I will ask my GP next time I am in there.

Cheers

Hey Mary.

Really good to hear from you. Hope you are holding up ok. How is everything at home?

I have also come down with a cold this weekend. I have a bad fever at the moment, so just going to in bed with some movies tonight. Maybe I will start watching the wire tonight. I got the first couple of seasons on dvd.:)

I hope to feel better tomorrow. I have to visit my Mother tomorrow, which I haven’t really mentioned on here though she has stage 3 dementia. Which is really hard for me to deal with. I know I should go, though I also know she will forget I was ever there as soon as I walk out. It’s just a bad situation for everyone.

I always leave just feeling really empty.

As far as anxiety goes it’s under control for now. I had a few really bad days last week as you can see above. It just got to the point where I felt like I couldn’t breathe .I’m sure you know what I mean. I guess if I am honest it is still probably the thing that is holding me back the most, more so than money or other issues.

When I was talking about picking up bad habits, I kind of meant it more on a social level. ie hiding from social situations a lot of the time and not really dealing with it head on. Though I do probably drink more than I should as well.

Thanks for the job searching too you are awesome.

Thank you sooooo much!OOOXXX

I will check back in tomorrow.

Mares73 · ‎02-07-2014

Dear Matthew sorry its been a few days. I don't have a computer & rely on my Samsung Note 3 to go on Internet & write here but I had a few probs with it past few days. How are you feeling? I have thought of you & wondered how you were managing . It must be devastating visiting your mum when she's so sick -how did it go? Also sorry I can't remember but are you on regular meds now ie an SSRI or SNRI? Do you see a Psychoiatrist regularly? Just wondering what your support base is? I see a Psych every few months but I think there's more support here than most places. Hey did you get to watch any of "The Wire" ? What did you think? It's very character based & worth getting past the first few episodes where it then all starts to come together. Best series I've ever watched-you just have to persist through the first few episodes. I hop your ok? Be great to hear how your going then ill write a longer reply. It's

5am & yes I don't know how you do it!! I'm freezing. Love Mary xxx

Damaged · ‎02-07-2014

Hey Mary. How’s it going?

Wow you were up early this morning. It’s not much fun I know.

I have been off work the last couple of days with the flu, though went back today. Yeah seeing Mum is not great. It’s just depressing knowing that she won’t get better. It can be hard to have a conversation too, just very awkward really. I don’t really know what to say most of the time.

I am on regular meds now for a while SSRI s. I used to see a psych often though less often now due to money though hope to go soon. I think they really help a lot. Yeah started watching the wire only seen the first couple of episodes though it looks like it will be interesting. I will watch a lot more over the weekend. As far as life in general goes I guess I’m doing ok. My anxiety is under control for now which is a nice change.

So good to hear from you. I hope you are doing ok.

Talk soon

Take care xoxo

Matthew