How to get interested in life again?

Damaged · ‎13-05-2014

Hi all. I have been suffering anxiety and depression for a really long time. I am really trying to beat it though I always seem to find myself repeating the same patterns because anything outside of my standard routine is too hard to deal with. My life at the moment life consists of a 58 hour work week which doesn’t leave much time for anything through the week. On the weekends I catch up on house work, sleep and maybe see a movie and that’s about it.

I have recently started going to therapy again and she told me I should find a hobby and find groups of people to meet up with,though meeting in any kind of group is kind of like hell for me. On top of that I really don’t have anything that I am interested in at the moment. Most of the time I just feel pretty empty inside. I guess I have lost interest in most things over the years.

I Know I need to socialize more if I want to improve, and there has to be more to life than work and bills though I am not sure where to start?

Maybe I am

past the point of no return?

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Mares73 · ‎17-06-2014

Hey Matthew glad Monday is over for you. Hey I don't mind at all you calling me dear-just never been called it. I know it's just like any term of endearment. Hey re your job given your so busy & I used to work in human resources would it help if I looked up jobs for you in Sydney? I know your currently a warehouse supervisor but if there's any specific industry etc your looking for-id like to help as I have the time. How are you feeling? Do you have any close friends? Just wondering how you spend your wkends? I'm thinking of how to setup a support group in sydney, hiring hall etc is ok-its how to promote it & get people to come along. Just an idea. Anyway my anxiety has the best of me right now. Funny you know anyone whose known me thinks I'm so social, caring & fun. I guess underneath my layers of depression I still am. I can come out of myself when I'm with people, I'm so easy to talk to I just don't have anyone to do things with hence my idea of a group. Anyway thinking of you at work, talk tonight precious! Lve Mary x

Damaged · ‎17-06-2014

Hey Mary

As always thanks for your support. It is really helping me through at the moment . How are you holding up?

Thanks for the offer of helping me look for a job that would be great. I’m not too concerned about what type of industry.Just warehousing work in western Sydney. If you notice anything let me know.

I would really like to go to Tafe or study online to become more qualified.Though I just don’t think I could make the time to do it even if I was to do it on weekends.

Though yeah I have no close friends right now I kind of pushed them all away over years of not knowing how to deal with this So I guess it is mostly my fault though that’s just how it is.

I think setting up a support group is a great idea though I am quite terrible in a group situation. That is when my anxiety really is at its worst though maybe it will be different if everyone is going through the same thing?

I’m sure you`re still a fun and caring person underneath the anxiety and depression, I can tell by what you write.That’s one of the worst things about anxiety for me. It takes away what you really are and what you have the potential to be too.

Have a great night dear 🙂

Talk to you soon.

Matthew.

Mares73 · ‎18-06-2014

Hi Matthew I hate winter mornings but given you get up at 5am I won't complain. I'm hanging in there but very very anxious-it's like I've drank 20 cups of coffee & my body is a mess tangled in knots & my thoughts are flying by. I find anxiety probably the hardes symptom as it immobilises me which then leads to depression. It's hard as psychs & Drs are reluctant to give out anxiety meds due to possibility of addiction but when anxiety is stopping you having a decent life it's terrible. Anyway guess your at work and yes you've made it to Wednesday!! Lve Mary x

Damaged · ‎18-06-2014

Hi Mary.

I know exactly how you feel about the anxiety drugs with doctors, I have been there too.

Glad to have made it to hump day, though so tired. I have started taking painkillers the last couple of days cause I have a pretty bad back at the moment.

I am feeling pretty sore in the mornings lately. I think it`s just due to the cold, It will be ok. Just getting old lol.

I hope your doing ok. I know how anxiety can take a hold. Just try to give yourself a break

Talk to you soon dear.

XO Matthew.

Scott_Depression · ‎18-06-2014

Hi Hyperion

Apologies for delay in getting back re meds - getting swamped at work at present, but almost over the hump, so not too bad!!

Appreciate Matthew (D) giving me a mention. I do have some (I hope) considered views regarding meds.

First, lets talk about why you wouldn't want to take them - what I can think of off the top of my head is:

Feeling you need to 'just get over it'
Being worried you'd become dependent on meds
Being concerned that you don't know what you're getting yourself in for re side effects, etc

These are completely normal concerns. I'll try and address them below.

The idea that one can 'just get over it' is an attitude only conveyed by ignorant people - when I say 'ignorant' I don't necessarily mean this as an insult - I mean it that people who feel this way just aren't aware of the facts regarding depression and mental health (often through no fault of their own)

You can watch YouTube, or read plenty about depression, but the very short, very non-scientific version is that how we 'feel' is regulated by chemicals within our brains like endorphins & serotonin. Some of us (myself and many on this site) just don't have bodies that produce the right chemicals at the right time in the right amounts. It's EXACTLY the same as diabetes - their bodies don't produce insulin, therefore they need to regulate their sugar levels and introduce insulin to be well.

I guess you know where I'm heading with this. We simply need to regulate the chemical production in our brains, and an effective method is through medication via a professional.

Now - here is the REALLY important bit - NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT. It's a medically established condition - EXACTLY the same if you had diabetes. There is no way to 'just get over it' as it's a genuine illness.

My advice is to take the meds - it doesn't have to be forever - might only be for 6 months. Honestly, I AM dependent on my meds, but I have been really unwell in the past - I want to avoid that. I was actually once on a high dose (5 tablets/day) and now take only 2.

Re side effects, you CAN get some, but most can be avoided by ensuring you communicate with your professional. My meds make me SLIGHTLY tired, but happy to pay that price - it's not enough that anyone around me notices.

Anyway, hope this helps a bit & hope you get message - reply if you want to ask anything (might help someone else reading the post too)

Kind regards

Scott

PS Glad you posted!! Good work!!

Scott_Depression · ‎18-06-2014

Hi D / Matthew

Hope you're doing ok - sounds like you're plugging away. Love the conversations you're having with Mares - you guys are supporting one another so well - great stuff!

How did you go at the appointment last week - did it go well?

Any talk of tweaking the meds or are you feeling better about how you're traveling?

Cheers

Scott

Mares73 · ‎19-06-2014

Hey Matthew will look up jobs -any specific location? And I'm assuming a management role? Do you have any formal skills or training? I will really try to help you.

Hey Scott-wondered where you'd gone?! Miss you being around in general-but maybe that means your doing well which would be awesome. Don't know if you've read my latest challenges but I'm holding on. Just anxious way too much. Hope your well Lve Mary

Damaged · ‎19-06-2014

Hi Scott. Good to hear from you. How’s it going mate?

I am doing ok, I have gotten used to the meds finally. I am just tied now due to painkillers I am taking for my back.

Though hopefully I won’t have to take them after the weekend. I go in to pysio on Saturday.

Thanks for checking in.

Hi Mary.

Re jobs. I am looking for something around the Baulkham Hills area. As far as skills go I have a LR Truck Licence, Forklift Licence Most of the relevant computer skills like excel and word. I don’t really have any certification as a Manager, I started as a forklift driver and just kept having tasks thrown at me until I was in charge. Lol.

Though I have years of experience leading a small team. I’m sure there is a lot more things I should mention though I just can’t think right now. Kind of tied at teh moment.

Thanks for your help if there is anything else you need let me know. Hope you are doing ok.:)

Have a great night.OX

Cheers Matthew

Scott_Depression · ‎20-06-2014

Hi Matthew/Mares

Sorry I've not been around that much - been pulling big hours with work - got a project about to go live. All good though - no complaints except I've been less able to get on here!

Hope the physio can help - every time I've been to one for help, it's been awesome - really big help.

Mares - you're pretty incredible! I don't know your full story, but know enough to know that NO-ONE should have gone through what you went through. I hope for your sake the Royal Commission can wind down shortly, and that these horrible organisations that have protected these predators are prosecuted as much as possible. Sending you giant e-hugs!!

Matthew - made it through another week - good job - try and get outside if the weather allows mate - have an awesome weekend

Cheers

Scott

Mares73 · ‎23-06-2014

Hi Matthew sorry it's taken a few days to get back to you. I've been a bit down & Im a bit anxious waiting to hear about details re my appearance At the Royal Commission hearing. I still need to prepare my statement etc which I've been putting off-so I need to get the confidence for that. Anyway thanks for the info so I can look for jobs. Best thing also would be if I made a resume for you that you could give with your application & You could also send it to companies you may be interested in working for-it shows initiative. Due to the rules of the forum I wouldn't be able to get a resume to you so what I may probably be allowed is to show you headings to fill in & a basic structure for preparing the document. How does that sound? Also most importantly-how are you feeling? Are your moods and feelings about life still worrying you as much? Are you getting any satisfaction out of your life yet? I realize it must be really hard with the hours you work to have much energy for anything else. I guess I was just wondering if you've found any form of relaxation or enjoyment out of work? Hope to talk soon. Lve Mary x