How do you deal with it?

[Maui757]

I'm just wondering how everyone else deals with their depression when it strikes hard.

I personally really struggle, because when depression strikes I tend to want to get worse instead of better. I'm not really sure why this is, but it makes it even harder to motivate myself to start working on the self-care stuff. I see a psych, I have loads of things I can do to help (exercise, meditate, read little midfulness tips, activities I find relaxing, talk to my friends, eat healthy and drink plenty of water etc) but I find myself getting stuck below these things. It gets so bad that I can barely get up to get to work on time, and then I spend the drive to work fighting the urge to turn around or do something that means I don't have to go to work.

So I'm wondering if anyone else experiences similar things? And what you do to combat them. Does anyone else find themselves making themselves worse instead of better? Do you take time off work? I never know if I should be taking some time off and resting/recovering, or if I'm supposed to push through when times get like this. I continue seeing my psych, but there's only so much we can cover in one session, and there's only so many sessions I can afford.

Maui

[walpurti]

I have read the other replies and they have some very good suggestions. I would like to add one thing that helps me and that is humour. Being an older man I am somewhat "straight-laced" in the type of humour I appreciate but I still find many things on YouTube that make me laugh (I recently watched such a movie on YT called "The Best of Enemies" ... the 1961 version with David Niven).

I find I need to be careful what I "feed on" mentally as well as physically (tv, movies, books, music, etc) because we can sometimes seek out things which match our depressed mood.

Also, Felice Jacka a researcher at Deakin University has done some interesting research on how diet can affect our mood, positively & negatively. Binge eating on junk food was something I have battled and still do to a certain extent, so I am very aware of how eating well can elevate mood.

[Maui757]

Hi

I don't really know what to write. I feel so many things right now, and none of them are good.

I feel emotional, and angry, and sad, and tired, and like everything is just too hard so why should I even bother? I have no motivation to do anything. I'm supposed to be working at the moment, but I'm just stuck sitting at my computer in my office unable to get myself to face doing any work. I would consider telling my boss, but she's away today and I don't feel comfortable talking with the person left in charge about my mental health.

It's just that everything feels so hard, and I feel like it's all just going to fall apart and I won't have the strength or the will to try hold it together, let alone put it back together afterwards.

This emptiness, the choking feeling in my throat, the anger that bubbles up in any situation that's less than ideal or perfect. It's all screaming "depression" at me, and yet I don't want to put any effort into feeling better. I'd like to feel better, I'd like if someone could do that for me. But it doesn't work like that, I have to help myself. But I don't want to, because it's too hard and I keep failing at it anyway.

When was the last time you were happy? If someone asked me that, I couldn't give them an answer because it was so long ago, and was fleeting. I thought I was getting good, and then something happens and makes it all come crashing down again and I'm left with the aftermath and nothing to get me going again.

Maui