Highly Sensitive People (HSP)

[white knight]

Are you sensitive? If so you might be in the range of a HSP. Studies show up to 15-30% of people could fall into this category. And I thought I was alone!

Have you had the comments

”you should toughen up”

”don’t be so sensitive”

Yet these people don’t realise that your sensitivity is part of you, your personality. It’s like you suggesting they grow shorter as “you are too tall” How absurd.

Sensitive people have strong inner feelings, can be creative in things like writing, like to help other people or animals and generally care deeply in their convictions.

So people that criticise us are in effect bullying us to be someone we are not. If possible stand up for yourself because sure as yabbies bite your toes, if you don’t then you’ll be walked over.

We cant all be without sensitivity, we can’t all be low in emotion... not everyone is a highly sensitive person, if they were they’d understand how our world is full of inner feelings and also wonderful in a strange way because we “feel” and that my friend is priceless...

TonyWK

[Guest_1055]

Interesting what you said there therising. The bit you wrote about not being able to switch off... I can be a lot like that. Truly can be overwhelming and depressing. But for me too can also be overwhelming good emotions as well. Like at weddings, receiving gifts, birth of babies, will I would be the one quietly sobbing with happy type emotions. And actually sometimes I would rather not be like that... can be embarrassing. The crying that is..

Other times if other people are too sad, depressed or whatever, I can mostly pick that up. Feel deeply for the other person... And if I am not wise I can become so distraught, sad etc to the point of detaching my soul and start to feel "far away". Just my coping mechanism I think. Its one of the reasons I am unable to read lots of depressing or actually even anxious type posts on here.

I let someone down the other day. And I felt so so disappointed and felt so so deeply about it. Still feel sad about it. Both for her and myself.

I can pick up on my family's anxiety too... and then can become a bit that way myself. I had to learn to breathe in that situation then I was able to pray for the person.

Yeah Tony, what I meant was, some posts appeared to have a high word count... They just looked long compared to other posts on the forum. So yeah what Sleepy said.

Interesting discussion anyway.

[Guest_1643]

Hi the rising

I met two women who claimed to be empaths who were very narcissistic.

They identified as empaths and talked about it for hours..,,but weren't very sensitive to others jn their actions. Anyone can say they're an empath, and sometimes maybe to excuse their behaviour. So for that reason I don't like labels of that sort.

being an empathetic or caring person is very different to saying u are those things.

Ppl who say they are very nice and caring all the time to me, red flags. Over my life I've learnt to judge ppl,by how they act, not what they say about themselves.

[Guest_1643]

Hi Shelll,

I feel being in touch with ppls emotions can be appreciated by others. Do u feel it affects u badly, or can it also sometimes mean u can make ppl feel comfortable and understood ?

I think from having very severe ptsd from childhood I can't always handle some stories ppl tell me , here and irl. I want to, but I step back a bit at times. In hospital I heard some traumatic stories that still effect me.

[white knight]

Hi Shelll

OK. Posts that have long paragraphs have more letters because lots of paragraphs adds characters when you start a new one. They seem longer for this reason.

Therising- Being a male and lived and worked with many of them, I can say it is common for men to "switch" to aggression at any time.

It's like a red line. Like a list of topics he has in his head...if anyone says this or that I'm going to give it to them". A man is well prepared for such scenarios.

Yes, I think this instant aggression is natural, as unacceptable as it is.

TonyWK

[CMF]

Hi all

I agree with Sleepy, if a person has to make a point of what they believe they are..mi don't trust them. My colleague used to make a point about helping others, we should always help etc but she gets so annoyed when people bother her. She talks about being bullied at another office & no one helping her, but she is sometimes not a nice person herself the way she talks about others. She's sugary sweet in front of people, different as soon as they're gone. Yeah. Actions def speak louder than words. I absorb all her negativity & don't trust her 1 bit.

Cmf

[white knight]

Hi CMF

Very interesting part of the topic for me is people with a persuasive mask at your face, often mentioning negatives about other people. My estranged mother had it in an art form. Sadly us siblings didnt identify it until well into adulthood such was her ability to manipulate, get you onside at the expense of another sibling then your turn came around about 2 months later, the cycle was hard to see as it was so many weeks apart.

It has little to do with sensitivity and more to do with trust and how our sensitivity (enabling without intent) draws these people into a false sense of low intelligence, that they think we dont know they are fake...if you get my meaning? Thankfully along with my sensitive/enabling/people pleaser persona I have the uniformed/warder/fearless side that, when pushed, I can call these people out for who they are but I really have to be pushed that way eg if such a person told me untruths about a dear friend or relative that I knew was a lie then I couldnt stand by and absorb it. I often remind myself of that saying mentioned earlier "evil flourishes when good men do nothing". Even though action results in less friends but better quality ones.

As Shelll said, some self claimed empaths can be narcissists.

TonyWK

[Guest_1643]

Hi Tony, I mentioned that, about empaths.

[white knight]

Thanks Sleepy. Still early in the day, another coffee needed lol

TonyWK

[Guest_1643]

no probs at all. I burn toast every morning before I've woken up 🙂

I've never described myself as a sensitive person ... i've had it weaponized against me so i'm a bit wary.

Same as perfectionist. My Dad used those words to put me down.

I was an organized, resourceful, caring kid but I guess he didn't like that.

I do struggle a lot with feeling like the world is kinda rigged, and the vulnerable are always getting exploited. I hate injustice and hate bullying.

I know I shouldn't read too many real-news stories coz I get so upset.

I was bullied when I was younger for being quiet, and then for being too loud, for basically everything until I learnt not to care or even to answer back.

It's hard also when you are being bullied at home. I think that is my form of sensitivity, hypervigiliance. I can't relax and am always trying to read people to check if they are "safe"

[CMF]

Tony,

you hit the nail on the head...they think we don't know they're being fake!

It really irks me. The fake sugary sweet act as it is usually exaggerated.

It really upsets me, the Jeckle &Hyde behaviour.

Cmf x