Highly Sensitive People (HSP)

[white knight]

Are you sensitive? If so you might be in the range of a HSP. Studies show up to 15-30% of people could fall into this category. And I thought I was alone!

Have you had the comments

”you should toughen up”

”don’t be so sensitive”

Yet these people don’t realise that your sensitivity is part of you, your personality. It’s like you suggesting they grow shorter as “you are too tall” How absurd.

Sensitive people have strong inner feelings, can be creative in things like writing, like to help other people or animals and generally care deeply in their convictions.

So people that criticise us are in effect bullying us to be someone we are not. If possible stand up for yourself because sure as yabbies bite your toes, if you don’t then you’ll be walked over.

We cant all be without sensitivity, we can’t all be low in emotion... not everyone is a highly sensitive person, if they were they’d understand how our world is full of inner feelings and also wonderful in a strange way because we “feel” and that my friend is priceless...

TonyWK

[britishtvfan]

hey tony & therising.

i'm not really sure how to reply but i did read your comments. it's difficult having AVPD (avoidant personality disorder). no one really seems to understand it since it's so rare. my psychiatrist seems to be the only one i personally know that knows about it. i also get clingy at times, not as bad as i used to be, so maybe that's a bit of a dependant personality, i don't know. but i also have moments when i just want to be left alone. it's difficult.

[Guest_1643]

I think sensitivity is a blessing too, the rising.

I don't like the term empath, apologies to anyone who does, but I've seen it claimed by ppl to display their special sensitivity, when they were, in fact, pretty insensitive and narcissistic.

i want to live in a world where it's OK to feel and be vulnerable, and like to peel away my own shame around feelings.

[white knight]

I can only imagine how hard it would be to have AVPD.

I hope the forum and this thread helps a little.

TonyWK

[britishtvfan]

thanks tony. it's hard to explain really. i don't understand the "feeling inferior/superior to others" part of it though. perhaps others do but personally i've never been like that, nor ever intend to be.

[Guest_1643]

As a cluster 3 personality disorder, AVPD has been misunderstood, I hope ppl who struggle with this disorder get help and also know that they are more than their personality disorder.

There is a movement I feel where personality disorders are becoming better understood and talked about. Hopefully I the future there will be less stigma.

[Guest_1055]

Hi all

I was going to write that I am pretty sure I experience high sensitivity. Then I looked at some of these posts, back a page too. Are they extra long some of them. I have no issue with that at all. Maybe it is my imagination. I don't know. What do you guys think?

[Guest_1643]

Hi shelll, it is fairly dense and philosophical . It may be intimidating to a lot of ppl. We should welcome ppl and make it easy to joim

[white knight]

Hi Shelll

What's extra long? I don't understand

TonyWK

[Guest_1643]

Hi Tony could be wrong but was wandering if the comments were about the texts in the posts, they are long posts with lots of text.

[therising]

Hi Sleepy21

You raise an interesting point about the empath factor, how it's misused. While it's a handy way of identifying a deeply feeling person, it has left me wondering what's wrong with my perception at times. I consider a guy I know who can be the most beautiful genuinely deeply feeling person one minute and the next minute he can cut you down in the blink of an eye. I really do need to thank you as you've actually woken me up to the possibility of why he can switch so quickly, into what appear to be such narcissistic traits. I've spent so many years trying to work him out (wondering whether he's narcissistic or not) and you've helped me reach a conclusion that makes some sense to me.

I think, because this guy's such a deeply feeling person who can be easily overwhelmed by emotion, he's taught himself to switch off from 'feeling', in a split second. When he switches off in favour of pure logic over feeling, his logic feels cold and hard. I don't believe he's actually a narcissist, I think he's just too switched off at times and I'm not the only one to say this. Developing healthy levels of emotional detachment can definitely be a good thing, leading to greater self esteem, but knowing when the line's been crossed is something I'm personally trying to master myself. I'm also trying to master balance (semi detachment). Such awareness can be seriously hard to achieve at times. I've even said to my daughter before, in relation to someone we both know, 'Am I too detached and unfeeling at times?', to which her response has been 'Yeah, a little, but I can understand why'. To sum it up it's a 'hurt too much too often' kind of thing when it comes to the person I speak of. She's felt the hurt herself and can relate.

I suppose there can be a variety of people

• As you mention, those who declare themself to be 'a deep feeler of other's emotions/feelings', when they're actually manipulating people through emotions in order to serve themself (aka a pure narcissist)
• Those who are deep feelers but are yet to fully master the ability to switch off, switch back and forward or find balance in productive or constructive open minded ways
• Those who are deep feelers for others and can't switch off, which can be thoroughly exhausting, stressful and even depressing at times

Sometimes I'm left to think that there is so much to feeling or feelings that I'm not sure if a lifetime is long enough to fully understand and master it all 🙂