Highly Sensitive People (HSP)

[white knight]

Are you sensitive? If so you might be in the range of a HSP. Studies show up to 15-30% of people could fall into this category. And I thought I was alone!

Have you had the comments

”you should toughen up”

”don’t be so sensitive”

Yet these people don’t realise that your sensitivity is part of you, your personality. It’s like you suggesting they grow shorter as “you are too tall” How absurd.

Sensitive people have strong inner feelings, can be creative in things like writing, like to help other people or animals and generally care deeply in their convictions.

So people that criticise us are in effect bullying us to be someone we are not. If possible stand up for yourself because sure as yabbies bite your toes, if you don’t then you’ll be walked over.

We cant all be without sensitivity, we can’t all be low in emotion... not everyone is a highly sensitive person, if they were they’d understand how our world is full of inner feelings and also wonderful in a strange way because we “feel” and that my friend is priceless...

TonyWK

[Frangepani]

Hi there thankyou for what you wrote to me its so very comforting to converse with someone in this way who totally gets it I've never had that in my life until now in my personal life my life has literally turned around for the better I can actually see a future for myself it hasn't been that way for a very long time I think you are so uplifting and inspiring and very powerful yourself I tend to have this ability where I get the giggles and I love to laugh and make people laugh because I've had my fair share of the alternative they say laughter is the best medicine right I dont know if I've mention this before cant remember my posts. Talking with you really helps I hope im returning the favour takecare of yourself all the best

[Guest_1643]

Hi frangepani, that's great u feel so much more hopeful and that u have a future. No pressure to answer but I was wandering what changed Ur life around as I also struggle with seeing a future for myself.

[CMF]

Hi Frangepani and all reading.

I have felt rage this week. I too cannot tolerate people who feel they are above others, who don't want to help others , who are fake. People who purposely stir up others when they are down.

I don't like feeling rage, it stops me from being the caring person I know I am.

Cmf x

[britishtvfan]

i'm a highly sensitive person. avoidant personality disorder (or APD/AVPD) is one of my 6 diagnoseses (yay me). this makes me very sensitive to criticism, rejection, abandonment, being ignored online & in person, struggling to have & mantain friendships, etc etc.

i can just get depressed over the smallest thing & feel suicidal. i feel like everyone who i've talked to online & in person knows this & they play on it. it's hard to deal with. like for instance, me feeling like nobody likes talking to me, including on these forums.

[Frangepani]

Hi Sleepy i hope you are well and doing ok in response to your question my answer is do you believe in miracles because thats what happened for me my belief in my faith has literally turned my life around where I have gone from rock bottom where I wanted to die many times over to seeing the light at the end of a very dark tunnel for so long I can see rainbows now through it all I never gave up hope and I never will I feel so blessed in my life its truly amazing I hope you can get some comfort from this I wish you well take care of yrself im happy to talk anytime reachout again

[white knight]

Hi robthomaslover

I'm sorry you have HSP, as I do. I conquered anxiety but bipolar and HSP I'm afraid isn't fixable.

The forum members need lots of patience and the biggest need is , the benefit of the doubt. This is because there is an infinite amount of reasons someone might not answer you here. Eg if they have depression sleep is random, they might need a break from the forum, that thread might be frustrating for them or they might not know how best to use the forum and miss your post. A common occurance is that you post then another person posts and the OP only sees the most recent post. It looks like they've ignored you but just missed you.

Many things like this will be fixed in a new forum coming soon.

TonyWK

[therising]

Hi robthomaslover

I think when we're sensitive to anything questionable, we can't help but question or wonder why people behave the way they do. There are some seriously questionable people out there. A simple example which can involve a huge trigger: Someone may say to us 'You're way too sensitive', to which our response may be 'I hate it when people say that'. Now, you'd imagine after you express your hate for that statement, the person would not press the point but don't you ever find it questionable that a person's response to this can be 'Well you are (way too sensitive)'. It's like dude I just told you I hate that and not only have you completely ignored me but you've emphasised it.

I'm a pretty sensitive person at times and I suppose I've always been somewhat sensitive to what I find questionable. I used to walk away questioning certain people's behaviour, especially those who were depressing or angering in some way. I'd walk away gradually becoming upset with myself. Can't recall exactly how it happened but one day I was led to begin wondering out loud. Instead of keeping my wonder to myself, I began wondering at the people who were leading me to feel depressed, lacking in self worth, hopeless and so on. I really wondered and genuinely wanted answers. What I discovered were 2 rather outstanding things. 1) A lot of people, not all, didn't want to take responsibility for their words. They gave responsibility back to me, to tolerate those words. 2) People would typically like to tell me I needed to 'calm down' or not be so 'challenging' or such a 'confrontational bi*ch', on occasion. My revelation: I'd much rather be an informed questioner or 'confrontational bi*ch' than depressed.

One of the things I love most about sensitive people is that the second you trigger a sense of consciousness, they come to the party. Rarely is there any hesitation. If you say to a sensitive person 'What you said actually wounded me', the kind of response you typically get is 'I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. That wasn't my intention'. A sensitive person takes ownership of their words (I'm, I, my). A highly insensitive person puts it all back on you.

I've discovered sensitivity gives you the natural ability to pick all the insensitive people around you, every single one of them. You can even pick the levels of insensitivity. Ask a group of sensitives to tell you who the most insensitive person in the room is and they'll all point to the same person 🙂

[therising]

Hi Frangepani

You're such an inspiring and powerful person, creating beautiful 2 way channels with people. I have to agree with you when it comes to that channel or connection we experience with laughter. I love it. I love feeling it. I love sharing it. There are times where I think 'I really can't be bothered going to work' when what comes to mind is 'Go, simply to see how many people you can lead to a smile or laughter'. I love being a form of amusement, as working in aged care these days of COVID can be so triggering and potentially depressing. I regard myself as lucky to be working with those who have a great sense of humor. To be lighthearted is definitely good natural medicine for the heart. Finding people who can give you a daily dose is a must 🙂

[Frangepani]

Hi Cmf hope you are well and are doing ok I just wanted to say dont you go changing who you really truly are just to fit in with people who are not worth your time and energy focus on the people that truly geniuely care about you and will be there for you during the good times and the bad in response to rage dont let people have the power of you and especially dont bring yourself down to their level you are better than that we need to release the rage its better for our health mentally and physically if we do that you know my thoughts going to gym and doing boxing classes what comes to mind but you find what works for you I've found what has really helped me is doing my own research online and listening to motivational speaking podcasts on what resonates with you I truly hope this helps you you can actually google anything you want to takcare of yourself hold that head up high because you are a caring person just like you said and the world needs more people like us in it dont let anyone tell you any different reachout again im happy to chat all the best to you

[therising]

Hi CMF

I believe we can be caring and a justified rager at the same time. Was having a discussion with someone just yesterday about 'tone of voice'. A caring and sensitive person can begin a discussion with someone in a thoughtful way with a careful tone. For example, just say you witness a 'friend' speaking to their young child in a chastising, highly abusive manner. Carefully, you may say in support of the child, while trying to defuse the situation, 'I imagine he/she didn't mean to break that glass'. The friend ignores you, continuing with their anxiety triggering depressing rant. You raise your tone when going on to say 'I think it's best if we help him/her take responsibility in sweeping up the glass together'. Still that friend continues with the rant until their child is a thoroughly embarrassed blubbering mess. So, you may take your friend aside out of earshot of the child, raise you tone (not your volume) and try and snap them out of it by saying 'Are you a complete effing idiot? Can you not see what you're doing to your own child?! Stop it, get your sh*t together and help them manage what's happened!'. You deeply care about that child while being somewhat of a rager. I think, sometimes people will only wake up to themself through someone else's rage. I should add, the rage that happens in domestic abuse situations is very different. This is not about waking a partner or a child up, it's about managing them through fear. An abuser manages through instilling fear in others.

Having mentioned channeling the sage, sometimes the sage in us may say 'This is getting out of control, you need to scream at that person what has become completely intolerable and depressing otherwise they will never hear you'. I think as caring people, we can have just a handful of these moments throughout the whole of our life and still remain caring and sensitive.