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help! words of wisdom needed - bipolar 2, ADHD and ASD have ruined my marriage
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We’re so grateful to have you reach out to our community this morning and are so sorry to hear everything you have going on at the moment. Times like this can definitely get overwhelming . We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you.
We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).
Keep checking back in with us whenever you feel up to it.
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Dear Miranda007~
I'd like to join Sophie_M in welcoming you here to the Forum. It's been quite a while since you posted without any other replies. I regret that, unfortunately our system does not always work properly as we might wish. Please rest assured it is nothing to do with you or the subject of your post.
By now of course your husband will have returned from his FiFo and you may well have had some counseling.
Of course the first thing to realise is making the same mistake as I did. It is natural to judge oneself by the standards of a normal healthy life, which, as you can see, leaves you feeling adequate, guilty and with little hope. It does not take realistically into account illness, in your case your bipolar2 and ASD which limits your abilities in many ways - probably more than you expect.
Your family life, wiht two children that have Mental Health conditions is very hard and demanding of you, and if as you say your husband is a lovely, caring guy with a big heart then these things will place a burden on him to. He seems to have two sides.
In addition FiFo is in itself a difficulty in any relationship.
In short your a loving person doing the best you can.
Now I'm not excusing your husband's infidelities, and their effect on your would have been devastating. Frankly I'd guess the frustrations of your own illness combined with his dishonesty would be the worst factors.
I suppose in a way the landscape may now have changed if he was close to his departed father and he may need support. It is unfortunate he had just said he wanted a divorce - and for for a silly reason -lack of trust which he knows he causes. do you think it goes deeper than confrontations over his activities?
During all this time your life has been unbelievably hard, are you facing this all alone? I wonder if there is someone, family or friend, whom you can talk with frankly? They do not have to do anything but listen and care, that is the important bit, understanding may not be exact but the care makes up for that.
As it has been a while since your post would you like to come back and say how you have been going and what's been happening?
I look forward to hearing from you
Croix
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