Help!! newly diagnosed but confused

[ci]

Ok so i will apologize in advance im in a state so this will be a ramble im sure.

I am new to all this suffered for years but finally seeking help and a diagnosis. i have seen couple of different psychiatrists been told that i have ocd by all of them and cant deny that totally agree. the part of my diagnosis i have trouble  with is one phyc told me i have bipolar but other have said no i dont agree with the bi polar i dont have the highs.

my brother is bi polar so i know a bit about it  i dont think i'm the same. 

the other said panic disorder and depression with the ocd so that brings me to my question could this be right i was told the depression doesn't come and go like my moods do. i can be ok one day and unable to stop crying the next. i am so irratable feel like im going to explode alot of the time. is this normal for depression to be up and down and to be so on edge and frustrated. some days i so exhausted its hard to move and do anything but i'm a mum of 3 so not an option to curl up and hide. other days so anxious and irritated im so fidgety still exhausted and dont have energy but i really restless. I cant keep going like this need to know what is happening i dont know much about depression would really appreciate some advice does this sound like depression. i not on meds i refuse untill someone says for sure whats wrong but im at the point where i need to do something fast im in a state i dont have family support except for my husband no otherfamily to support us havent told my husbands family they not the supportive type i did stupidly tell mine and then heard my mother has been making fun of my ocd issues. ive distanced myself from all friend havent seen them for about 2 years i just shut myself off. i contacted two recently trying to reach out explained a little about whats happening with me but i think its a lost cause cause havent heard back from them even though they said wish they new could have helped ect, i seem to attract people that find me useful not the kind to return the favour. anyway this has turned into a rant thought it would all i wanted to post was like i said does any of this sound like depression mixed in with my ocd?

[Gruffudd]

Hi there ci, 

Welcome. It took me a while to figure what was going on for me and to recognise the times when it is getting worse or better. I think so much of that happens with the professionals but what resonates in other peoples experiences can prompt a conversation. There are loads of resources and information on this website, have a look under the tab up the top titled 'the facts'. It helped me to understand a little more about depression when I did that.

Wishing you all the best.

Rob.

[chap10]

Hey there ci,

I am pretty sure you have commented on my post about my OCD, but I have forgotten what you wrote so apologies if I repeat something to you that you have already said.

You sound like you are in a very similar position to me (as far as your diagnoses goes), and I can relate very much to your utter confusion. I have just been diagnosed as OCD (primarily obsessional) and depression. I have been diagnosed many times as anxiety and depression and I thought I had panic disorder for a while too. It has taken so long for me to be diagnosed as OCD because I didn't exhibit any physical compulsions, only mental.

I do suffer from very serious depression also, and judging by you're symptoms I do think you do too (don't take my word for it though, as I am not a trained professional, I'm just making an observation). I am on medication and it is absolutely crucial for me, without it I would not be able to function at all. I think that if you find a reliable psychiatrist that you can work with, looking at medication may be a very good idea. I can relate to your confusion about your diagnosis, and your being hesitant to take medication until you know for sure-- I still don't feel right about taking the meds I do, but honestly I don't have an alternative. It is very hard to come to terms with this, but it's something that has to be done.

Sorry, I don't have much else to say because this is all very new for me too. It is hard but maybe you have to give a good psychiatrist the benefit of the doubt and get started on something (whether it's medication or therapy or both).

Losing your mind is scary, I know, and if you want to talk about this I will be around so let me know.

Take care

[missinglife]

I also have 3 children and understand, I  feel like your writing about me 😞

​I wish I could help I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety.

I never wanted to be on medication ever but it got so bad I needed it . I'm still feeling really bad lows and crying lots

[ci]

Hi gruffud and chap10 thank-you for replying 

Ya I think I did reply to your ocd post chap10 felt like we insimilar place with being new to this and trying to accept that this is now our world even though your life very different to mine  I  apologize I couldn't find your original post to make sure was the one I'm thinking of but I have only replied to a couple so I'm pretty sure I'm right.  

It is helpful to hear that you can relate to the depression side my diagnosis because I think I need to hear that I'm fine to accept my ocd diagnosis as I have the physical and mental aspects of it pretty obvious to everyone that ocd is problem for me can't deny that one but can't seem to accept depression my life pretty good great husband great kids comfortable life no  reason to be depressed seems so ungrateful to say I have depression (I  know depression is illness not just a symptom of a terrible life ) but it's hard to get my head around. 

Thanks again for replying

[Solly]

Hi ci

 I unfortunately dont know a lot about ocd but i know depression from experience. I also have 3 children aged 2,3 and 5 and recently moved here from abroad. 

I know there is no time to waste with 3 kids, you are constantly busy and it feels like life just passes you by. If you feel yourself slipping down the rabit hole i recommend that you seek psychiatrist advice. Medication is my life saver and i would not cope without it. Not all of these mental illnesses are clear cut, although i struggle with depression i have strong tendencies towards bipolar and social anxiety. 

Keep it up and dont be afraid to seek advice. Everyone experience things differently but there are common threads that can be useful. 

[ci]

Thank-you missinglife and solly for replying 

Missinglife you must have posted your post at same time as me wasn't there last night when I posted.

Great to hear I'm not the only mum going through this trying to deal with a faulty brain and 3 impatient kids can be so hard. The guilt you feel over not being the best mum I think I could be is awful just want to get better for them and give them a mum back.

Sounds like everyone is saying mediation is a positive thing so thank-you. I have got to the point where I'm out of a choice I have to take it. 

Missinglife sounds like you still having a hard time at the moment. I hope things improve soon for you no one should have to go through this.