Hello pre-midlife crisis!

[Anne_Autumn]

Hi, New member, first post (so pls be kind & apologies for rambling!)

I am married woman with a successful career an turn 35 on Monday. I am also the queen of the mask- IE no one knows the struggles behind this perfectly crafted facade and according to my counsellor I have having a mid life crisis of sorts- or as I like to call it a "pre- midlife crisis".

I was originally diagnosed with depression and GAD a bit over 12 months ago.The depression crept up on me as I was dealing with relationship issues to the point where I was unable to work or barely leave the house. The diagnosis was almost a relief- as if having a name made this a beast I could identify and then beat (I come from a health background so a label was useful for me). I tried therapy very briefly but had not found the right therapist and I spiraled- I didn't go back. I opted for exercise & trying to deal on my own & was able to pull myself out of the initial crisis, with a probably unhealthy dose of denial and wine. I denied my GP's suggestion of an antidepressant- I didn't need meds!

Fast forward 12 months and I hit breaking point. The straw that broke the proverbial camels back was a work scenario and my response to it was not healthy, I literally did not have the capacity to overcome what should have been a straight up difficult conversation- I cried, drank, reeled for a weekend and barely made it to work on Monday. It was then I realised I needed help. I made an appointment with a counsellor and the ensuing 6 weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster thats on a constant downward spiral. I am learning a lot about myself, and how I got here, I also finally filled the script for those antidepressants- and after 2 weeks feel like the numbing cloud over my head is lifting slightly.

But I have a way to go- my therapist suggested I take a leave of absence to deal with my mental health, and spend some time truly analysing my life, goals, values, relationships... But this terrifies me- I feel like I might burn everything I have worked so hard for down and have to start again, I also know this could be exactly what I need.

Keen to hear from others who have worked through similar times, did you take time off, go to a treatment facility, holiday solo?

If this sounds familiar or resonates in some way I would love to hear from you X

[kanga_brumby]

Greetings Ann and welcome to Beyond Blue most of us in here till we got into Beyond Blue all wore masks around friends and family. Almost none would know we needed help call it pride or what you will. We were the life of a party have people rolling on the floor laughing yet inside near dead. screaming help. Your are amoungst friends here there is bound to be someone in here who will click with a problem you might have. And thier could be a problem one of us have you know the answer to because you have been there, done that plus your wearing the tea shirt to prove it as well.

Look about join in. You will find me usually over in the Beyond Blue forum Caff an informal area mainly having general chats with others come and join in.

Kanga aka Peter

[Tams20]

Hi Anne_Autumn,

I can relate to your post, I’m also quite successful in my career, married with 2 kids, sole breadwinner for my family, seemingly with everything under control... until about 6 months ago when I started to notice that it was becoming much harder to keep that mask on... things were getting to me way too much, anxiety and depression were creeping into my life... fast forward 6 months and I’ve recently been diagnosed with Bipolar II - huge shock to me and to everyone around me. But at least I know and can learn to deal with it.

You sound like you’re being very positive and taking the right steps. I think a leave of absence sounds like a great idea, get away from the stress of work and gather your thoughts - I’d go for it if I were you!

Tams

[Tams20]

Hi Anne_Autumn,

Just checking in to see how you are coping with your ‘pre-midlife crisis’? Whether you have made a decision regarding taking some time off work to look after your mental health? I think a solo holiday sounds pretty good, as I sit here listening to my kids harassing our poor dog...

Would be interested to hear an update.

Tams