Having trouble getting a job

[Earth Girl]

Many people are mad with me for not getting a job and say "You could just get a job in a supermarket?" which is annoying because... you think I haven't already tried that - several times? I applied for every supermarket they have in my area more than once each and none of them want me. I've also heard people say "These places really want more people", but they don't seem to want people like me.

I applied for a lot of retail jobs and I actually have better luck with that because I sometimes get interviews with them, but I never even get to the interview stage with supermarket jobs so I feel I have more hope in the retail industry than I feel I do in a job like a supermarket.

I'm on the pension which I'm really thankful for and you have to apply for a lot of jobs to get to this stage so I don't know why people just assume that I don't apply for "ordinary jobs." If you get offered a job in Centerlink that you can do, you HAVE to take it so I'm not just getting offered "ordinary jobs" that I apply for and saying no to them. I have WANTED to get a job for a long time, but no job seems to want me.

I've also been told that I can't work over 15-18 hours without my pension being affected, but I think it might be hard to not go over that time even if I do part time?

I tried CIT and I found it extremely stressful and I needed so much help with my assignments. I have a job cleaning in an office, but it's not a job-job and it's only one day a week. I'm thinking about adding a few more hours in, but lots of other people who work here say mean things about me behind my back so it's uncomfortable working here.

I also don't think people realize how much discrimination I receive as someone with a disability. Even at an Op shop I was volunteering at, most of the people working there would say really nasty things about me behind my back and they would do the same to other volunteers there as well and they would complain about them over the tiniest things that weren't even wrong. It surprised me because the people working there seemed so nice. I don't even want to shop at that place anymore let alone try to help them when they are so rude to us.

I had a few other jobs as well that I also left due to bullying because it was so stressful. I know people aren't always nice when you work with them but the level of the bullying was too much. I get paid $5 an hour (which is okay since these jobs aren't that hard), but if I'm getting bullied, than I feel it's not really worth it.

I have volunteered at two other Vinnies stores and also worked at one, but I only worked at that place for a week because I couldn't keep up. I got paid well, but it was too hard for me.

I think I have both mental and social disabilities (possibly physical as well) so I find it really hard to get any job and I have applied for a lot of different jobs including a lot of "ordinary jobs". Apparently I don't seem like I have a disability because my disabilities are hidden so people can't tell that I need help.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome 

I worked in a small factory once. Every Thursday a guy approached looking for a job. Each time we said "no job available ". 6 months went by, this time our manager was present. The job seekers asked again. I rejected him and as he walked away I told my boss of the number of times he'd asked. My boss called him back and offered him a cleaning job.

That new worker was the best worker we ever had. He was Vietnamese, he arrived in Australia as a boat refugee and even though he received discrimatory comments from some workers by being Asian, he refused to react. 

The message us- never ever give up. If your disability isn't visible people will only bully you if you tell them.

I think also you are focussing on things that don't benefit you. If you earn over the earning threshold you might lose 50 cents in the dollar from your pension but that is ok, it shouldn't effect your need to work. I feel you might be looking for the perfect job that doesn't exist eg- no bullying, not earn too much, retail better than supermarket and so on.

It is far better to get the job, any job then once settled you could negotiate with your boss, slightly lower hours, perhaps fill a more suitable role in the shop and report abuse or ignore it.

I'm not saying you haven't tried nor are your illnesses effecting you, but we can be our own enemy looking for reasons we can't work.

Get the job, then once settled figure out ways to improve that job to suit you better.

Good luck

TonyWK 

[Earth Girl]

Hi White Knight,

Thanks for your reply. I would be happy to work in a grocery store, but the reason why I stopped trying so hard to get a "simple job" is because I couldn't get into any and it just feels like they would never want me. I have no problem working in one, especially since you don't have to work there for the rest of your life and you can always work your way up, but I have had no luck so far getting one and I've been trying for a long time.

You're right about the bullying because it happens in a lot of work places, but the bullying in the opp shop went way too far. I don't tell people that I have a disability which can actually make the bullying worse because they wonder why I have so much trouble doing things they can do easily and why I have so much trouble socializing and some people think I'm being rude because of it when I'm actually really struggling to have a conversation.

I'm not trying to get out of working, I want to, but it's just upsetting that people from school think that I don't even try to at least get simple work. I'm worried for my future too.

I will keep applying for jobs including "ordinary" jobs and hopefully I'll get into one eventually.

[white knight]

Hi

That's the spirit. Often here a members 2nd post reflects their character more accurately.  So that sounds a much better approach. 

As you get older people accept others for their lack of abilities like maths, English, reading etc. No different that short people not able to reach high items. So employees can be cruel like a school yard. But life is hard, it can be cruel, yhe trick is to accept that as best you can and protect yourself as best you can.

I'm 67yo and was abused tonight on a forum. Men my age can be ruthless like lions. Now I laugh about it, seems so child like when they act like bullies at my age.

So that aside my advise is- try for any job, feel free to mention at interviews that as you're on a pension you'd prefer your max hours a fortnight but it's OK to go over it a little. Sell yourself, tell them you are loyal to management (many are not) and you won't listen to gossip, that you'll ask them personally if you have concerns. Eg tell them what they want to hear.

Never give up. Sad, depressed one day after looking for work? Be like that Vietnamese guy, get up the next morning and try again, again, again... and those bullies? Let them be, they dont deserve your time.

I'm proud of you.

TonyWK 

[Earth Girl]

Thanks again White Knight! 🙂

[Earth Girl]

I was just in a store the other day and I heard some people they saying that I'm only trying for retail jobs. This is making me go a bit coo coo.

[white knight]

Most of us with mental health problems are sensitive to people and their actions and comments. So much so it can effect us badly and change our focus away from what is important.

So its taken me decades to realise that these destructive types that are judgemental or talking behind our backs have any honour at all. Finally the past 2 years I've filtered all such people out of my life, now it is filled with loving caring types. The others have no idea how hurtful they can be and if they are compassionate they hide it fairly well.

I knew a guy that at 16yo got a job at KFC, his friends laughed at him, such "friends" didnt work as their parents were well off and gave them pocket money that was more than what this guy got from working at KFC. So years went by and this friend of mine became manager of the KFC outlet, then manager of another one. Eventually he bought a franchise of a McDonald restaurant and had supervision of 80-90 employees.

He would tell me how one of those guys mocking him bumped into him and he asked them what they worked at. Turned out he dropped out of uni and worked as a spare parts sales guy for $60,000 a year, my friend laughed under his breath... he was earning 5 times that.

During Covid the most important job in the country was ?  can you think of it? It was the cleaner. Where ever cleaners cleaned they prevented disease from spreading- hospitals, cafe's, supermarkets. Cleaners never get praised for doing a grand job but do get reported if something isnt clean enough- a thankless job.

So, retail, desk job, cleaner... doesnt matter, do the job with pride and forget those that look down upon you.

TonyWK

[Earth Girl]

Thanks Tony!

Yeah, I have low self esteem so comments from people really get to me even if they are not true. I like to take pride in all the jobs I've had though as well as the work experiences I've done and always work my best. I'm sure I'll be able to get a job eventually.

Your friend seemed to be unlucky in the beginning, but it all worked out great.

[white knight]

Hi EG

Low self esteem, its good when you realise your limitations, at least then you have something to go on.

Prior to 22yo I used to allow others to hurt me, then (and I was a prison officer at the time) I learned the hard way, that one must confront injustice and cruelty with an equal force of the same, in order to survive in life, or, others will walk all over us.

Eg had it been me that over heard two people condemning me in any way, I'd sneak up on them and stand there waiting for them to realise I am there. Their embarrassment would make my day. Or I'd say "so when was it you became my career advisor". Its all covered in the 1st page of this thread

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/wit-the-only-answer-for-torment/td-p/71440

Sometimes when we know we lack qualities and we have to learn them, we can do so. Self esteem is something we can learn. 

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/the-best-praise-you-ll-ever-get/td-p/134999

Believing in yourself is really hard when unemployed. Long time ago I was unemployed in a small country town (1100 people) . I told my wife I'm going to do a survey and knock on every door in town to see if they wanted a lawn mower person to mow their lawns. So I did, and when I got home I told my wife- "nobody wants their lawns mowed". She said "thats the end of that idea".

Next day I printed 1100 leaflets and walked the town again posting them. A few people met me at the gate and showed interest. Within 2 weeks I had 5 clients, a further 3 weeks I had 13 clients, suddenly I had enough income to supplement my benefits without losing any. 

After 6 months I sold the business for a large profit as an old back injury returned. So, I took up building cubby houses, cute ones with attic windows. I sold 14 for xmas... a total of $7000 and that was in 1994.

To never give up isnt often inherited, its a learned quality. Here is how I ended up positive.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/30-minutes-can-change-your-life/td-p/154525

A bit of reading (only 1st pages) but it could- change your life.

TonyWK

[Earth Girl]

Thanks so much Tony!

Lots of helpful advice as always. The "well done Tony, you good man you, make sure you dig that garden like that next time...what a man". was amusing too. 🙂