its seems every one is happy yet I sit hear all alone I hate this time of year soooo much .It is soo very hard when you don't fit in no matter where you go so why is this so much worse this year because all of my family are together and you guessed it I am not included there has been tension over the last few years between my sister and I over lets face it rubbish any way of course I have a panic attack and loose it try to leave and then have my mother start her manipulative rubbish and long story short starts an argument between my sister and I any way she rips me telling me that I am basically a terrible person a drama queen and god only knows what else sorry guys I know this is sounding so hate filled and probably really petty but honestly if I don't let it out I really don't know what I will do I honestly just feel unwanted several references were made about my depression and how because of it I am weak and her words pull my head in cause the whole world doesn't revolve around me . that is where I should have let it stop but no idiot Fiona tries to make it better tries to make her see reason and then she starts telling me that the fact I cant have kids is my fault and not meant to be so I should just suck it up and get over it wow you would think after that I would retreat but no I continued to try to get her to hear me to validate that what I was feeling was valid but she just continued to attack me . all I want all I have ever wanted is to be embraced for the person I am I want to be wanted loved included just for once I would love for someone to see me I am again really sorry guys but honestly I just feel so down and needed to reach out to some one .
Hi fifi. Congrats on the news re: pregnancy. What a wonderful Christmas for you and hubby. I've been thinking about you and praying your wishes will come true. I agree Neil is a splendid name, Neil and your husbands name together. I have been busy myself with a volunteer job, but everyone at BB has been in my thoughts. Just hope all goes well for you and hubby. Again, congrats.
