Hi bipolarMe. I'm so sorry you're experiencing such distressing episodes. I don't have bipolar but have had major depressive/anxiety disorder since childhood (diagnosed in my mid-30's). I have experienced psychotic episodes when my depression has been very severe and also during periods of prolonged or intense stress. During these periods, I hear my name called, see what appear to be human figures in my peripheral vision, feel that I am being tapped on the shoulder and 'lose' periods of time. I have also experienced sleep paralysis since childhood and I understand how scary that can be.
From what you have described it seems that your experiences are causing you a great deal of distress and confusion. From my own experiences, I think you would benefit from seeing your GP, tell him/her exactly what you have been experiencing and perhaps ask to be referred to a psychologist or psychiatrist for a professional assessment. There are a number of successful treatment options if you are, in fact, experiencing psychosis. If you speak to a professional, it will at least give you an answer and you won't have to go through that awful uncertainty of trying to figure out whether what you are experiencing is real or a delusion. I have found that when I have experienced these types of episodes, talking about them with my psychiatrist has given me an enormous sense of relief and security. I hope you have the opportunity to speak with your GP very soon. Take care.
LH
