hate this time of year

fifi · ‎24-12-2014

its seems every one is happy yet I sit hear all alone I hate this time of year soooo much .It is soo very hard when you don't fit in no matter where you go so why is this so much worse this year because all of my family are together and you guessed it I am not included there has been tension over the last few years between my sister and I over lets face it rubbish any way of course I have a panic attack and loose it try to leave and then have my mother start her manipulative rubbish and long story short starts an argument between my sister and I any way she rips me telling me that I am basically a terrible person a drama queen and god only knows what else sorry guys I know this is sounding so hate filled and probably really petty but honestly if I don't let it out I really don't know what I will do I honestly just feel unwanted several references were made about my depression and how because of it I am weak and her words pull my head in cause the whole world doesn't revolve around me . that is where I should have let it stop but no idiot Fiona tries to make it better tries to make her see reason and then she starts telling me that the fact I cant have kids is my fault and not meant to be so I should just suck it up and get over it wow you would think after that I would retreat but no I continued to try to get her to hear me to validate that what I was feeling was valid but she just continued to attack me . all I want all I have ever wanted is to be embraced for the person I am I want to be wanted loved included just for once I would love for someone to see me I am again really sorry guys but honestly I just feel so down and needed to reach out to some one .

fifi · ‎12-03-2015

hi Pip ,

thank you for your warm reply to answer your question I have started the treatment I am currently on the second phase of treatment injections 😞 I really feel like I am going bonkers I am scared excited and god only knows what . any way I am booked for pick up Monday 16th so fingers crossed that they get a good haul . then all of this would not have been in vain I hope to be able to report back with some positive news

Neil_1 · ‎12-03-2015

Hi Fi

Hey, great to hear back from you – and wow, with all that’s happening now, I couldn’t imagine to wonder all the kinds of emotions you may be feeling.

Regarding the crossing of fingers, I’ll uncross them as I type this, otherwise, just too hard to type – but once I’ve sent this, I’ll be re-crossing MY fingers for you as well and hope that it all goes as you would like it too.

Oh wow, that IS very good news regarding your dog; when I read it, I thought the worst – so my relief was huge when I read that the losing part was actually a “lost puppy”; phew. 🙂

And again, I can’t imagine what it’s like to be experiencing what you’re experiencing, so I’ll just say – wow, I’m actually a bit stumped – I just hope that this all works out really well for you.

Hey and no need to apologise; that’s what being on this site is all about – being “able” to unload and vent; and I’m glad you have.

And you know, we’re always here.

Kind regards

Neil

Ps: “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” for yesterday.

pipsy · ‎12-03-2015

Fifi, Pip here. Hope all goes well with your treatment. As Neil said, fingers, toes, eyes and ears crossed for you. Sorry to hear about your dog. Glad to hear you got he/she back. How's things with family. Safe to ask? Tell me about the dog (if you like). Love dogs. Again, good luck.

Pip

fifi · ‎13-03-2015

thanks buddy I feel a little better today still very nervous but I imagine that it a totally normal response to what my body is going through I took some time yesterday to take some photos of our neice and nephew and that helped heaps I have another shoot planned for this afternoon 🙂 as for the procedure I am booked and ready to go will let you all know how it goes 🙂

fifi · ‎13-03-2015

hi Pip thank you so much for your warm wishes I really do appreciate it . Now as for my dog we actually have 5 but because I am away from home for longer than a few days we had to bring 2 with us 😛 as Mylah is my dog and frets for me when I am not home . Any way Mylah Is a pure breed English Staffy she is almost 18 mths old and naughty as the day is long she is a very friendly and loving dog with not so much as a nasty nerve in her body . Her little adventure was short lived as she made it all the way to the local school (she loves kids ) and was thankfully picked up by a really nice person that took her to the local vet whom had her collected by the pound .We collected her yesterday morning from the pound as you would expect we were both ecstatic to see each other but on the upside she was no worse for wear at all 🙂 I will chat with you soon Pip thanks heaps for your replys

xox

pipsy · ‎14-03-2015

Hi Fi, Pip here. Thanks for getting back to me. Your dog Mylah sounds gorgeous, albeit a bit cheeky. The school she 'visited' do the kids know her? Unfortunately, if she wasn't 'known', Staffy's have a bit of a bad reputation and could scare the kids. Hopefully this didn't happen. A neighbor of mine had one and it used to 'visit' me all the time. 'Snow's' favorite place to sleep was under my patio table, I'm sure he thought my neighbor and I both owned him. I personally have had Corgi's, Australian Terriers, and a cross bred Shitzu/Cavalier King Charles. I would love another dog, but I live in a village and getting a dog past the 'yappie' stage would be difficult. My husband is not keen on another dog and things between him and I aren't the best, so another dog is not a good idea. Hope your IVF treatment goes well Monday. If you want to share with me, feel free. I'll be thinking of you. Much love P. xxx

Neil_1 · ‎16-03-2015

Hi there Fi

Ahh, so a budding camera person, oh that’s right the word is photographer. 🙂 Doing things like that can be so rewarding – finding a beautiful landscape, colourful clouds on sunset, especially if there’s some kind of smoke in the area – they’re burning off in our area at the moment and smoke is lingering around most days, which makes for some wicked sunsets. My daughter LOVES doing all kinds of different photography shots.

I hope this helps you a bit and takes your mind away from your other issues, even if it’s for a short while.

Booked and ready to go – I wish you all the best with this and I hope it all goes as best as it possibly can for you.

Stay in touch

Neil

pipsy · ‎16-03-2015

Hi there, Fi. Hope all went well today. Been thinking about you. I suppose you were nervous, that's natural. When will you know the results? Just remember, the end results make it all worthwhile. Your own little bundle of joy. Cheers Pip. xxx

fifi · ‎09-10-2015

hi guys long time no talk what can I say the last few months have been insane surgery , procedures and finally a baby on the way yay we were extremely lucky and even though out of 3 eggs only 1 fertilised that 1 little embryo was all it took to make our dreams come true I am currently 32.5 weeks pregnant and eagerly awaiting the birth of my beautiful baby I cant say that any of this has been easy but regardless all of the hard work has paid off . At this point in time I am doing ok I am currently not medicated and doing really well although we (midwife and me ) are on high alert for any negative symptoms that may arise and require me to start meds again I hope you are all well will do my best to update you all when the baby is born

take care all xxx

Neil_1 · ‎09-10-2015

Hi there Fi

OH WOW, that is amazing news. I’m so incredibly pleased for you, and I even have goosebumps now as I write back to you; that is just the best news.

Roughly 7 ½ weeks to go – so that’ll be around early December, yeah?

This must be so exciting for you. Keep up with the wonderful positive thoughts and I know you’ll have been doing all the right things with regard to the pregnancy, so just keep doing what you’re doing.

That is so wonderful to hear from you as well.

Thank you so much for coming here and providing this post.

Kind regards

Neil

Ps: if it’s a boy, Neil is a pretty good name 😉 😉 😉