First timer

[VMAIN26]

Hi I don't really know where to start but I have been suffering from depression and anxiety for only the last 6 months I think. I have been put on medication and seeing the doctor reg and also a counsellor a few times. but I don't seem to be getting anywhere. I got better for a bit and now im back in my black hole again and trying to dig my way out. im not working atm because im having trouble being around people. I don't want to leave the house or do anything around the house. I have lost all drive and motivation for anything in life atm. I don't know if this is the medication or just the symptoms. I could just stay in bed all day and not do anything. can anyone help at all

[white knight]

Dear VMAIN26,  welcome to BB.

I'm often the emotional depressant but my wife is the fall into bed type when her depression hits her.

Having a relatively newly diagnosed illness IMO it will take you time to a/ accept your illness as part of your makeup (unless it is temporary) b/ find out over time if there is a cycle and c/ how to adjust your life to fit the illness.

We humans spend our lives growing up, going through all sorts of changes, learning stages and challenges.  We, like all machines can be serviced regularly with rest and maintenance like holidays. But on some occasions we just break down.  Those that havent broken down often wont know what its like and how to help. Hence professional guidance is important.

If you find there is a cycle (mine was every 8 weeks until the proper medication was found) then you can accept it easier and plan time out. during those times getting more rest and being away from other people isnt so bad. It's only when you do that in a permanent state that it is an issue - again this is my opinion.

Family and friends will find your depressive state a challenge.  You might find their reaction is more to deal with rather than the support you need.  That's why this site is so good.  Feel free to express your ongoing challenges. Support here is great.

Finally- allow yourself to mend. Dont expect it to come overnight. Like that machine that's broken down......it has to idle a bit before it can rev out like it used to do.

Good luck. Hope to hear from you soon.

[VMAIN26]

Most family and friends have been great but im being really hard on myself. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I want the quick fix. which i know isn't going to happen for me. Im sick of people telling me to be strong and push yourself. everyone has different opinions i know.

My struggle atm is the lack of energy and drive to move myself. my partner is telling me to come off the medication slowly and see if that makes a difference. but not so sure that's a great idea. I will have to go back to the doctors.

its nice to be able to type my feelings to someone. friends and family are good but sometimes its strangers you need more. and my partner just doesn't know what to do atm his to scared to say the wrong things I think.

[white knight]

And scared- he is justified in being.  We adults havent been trained to tackle mental illness issues, even parenting some believe comes natural with is rubbish.  Some are probably hoping your issues will disappear.

Some things in life you cant expect your partner to share/help etc.  Your intolerance to this is up to you as some wont tolerate it at all and others are happy to go it all alone.

It isnt unusual at all that others will say "snap out of it" etc....a high percentage of posters here would have got that reply. 

As for lack of energy diet is so important as is other things professional recommend like fish oil or krill oil. It not only helps with your brain health but your joints and heart.  I've been taking it for 10 years now. Light excercise is good.  I like to walk fast for 3 kms from home then stroll back. By the time I'm back I'm buggered but more content.

I'd discuss all this with your doctor and dont be afraid of going to him/her regularly. This is important as your mood and feelings change quickly.

The quick fix doesnt exist IMO.  Be prepared for the long haul. Acceptance of this and taking medication likely for the long term also is crutial to you accepting your condition in the first place.  Like my back injury 22 years ago....took me a year to change my thinking. Nowadays I lift items automatically the correct way.

[geoff]

dear VMAIN, unfortunately there is no quick fix with depression, and I wonder why your partner wants you to come off the medication, and if you do what then there is only one way to go and that's downhill, so what I would do is to have your medication  reviewed with your doctor, because not every antidepressant works with everyone.

There are many different AD's some SSRI and some SNRI which have different effects on people, so if this one is not working get them to change it, but I suggest that you don't stop taking them.

By people telling you 'to be strong and push ahead' well it's OK for them to make this comment, but they don't understand the strength of what depression does to us, it changes our lives. Geoff.

[White_Rose]

Dear VMAIN

As White Knight and Geoff have said, there is no quick fix.  I did ask my GP to wave her magic wand but she said the batteries were flat.   So back to the drawing board and the hard way.

Your symptoms are the usual.  Lack of motivation, tiredness, reluctance to leave your safe home haven, dislike or even fear of being with people and a certain amount of confusion.  I say this because sometimes people think they are the only one with these problems. You are travelling the same path as all of us.  And you are getting the same responses as we have had.

It really is irritating to be told to pull yourself together or similar expressions.  Like telling someone to continue practicing for a race when they have a broken leg.  If you try and force yourself to do too much you are likely to slow down your recovery. The black hole is not easy to climb out of but you will get there.

Like Geoff I am unsure why your partner wants you to stop taking medication so I am pleased you are going to talk to your doctor first.  I hate taking pills and I fought against it for a long time.  It makes you feel helpless and useless, lets us tell ourselves how weak and flawed we are.  Not true.  No one objects to meds when they have a headache or an infection of some kind.  I have arthritis and will need to take meds for the rest of my life unless someone finds a cure.  Why is it different? 

I can understand your partner being nervous about talking to you.  We are so unused to this sort of situation that everyone freezes.  I give everyone the following information because it is important that as many people as possible know about mental illness.   At the top of the page under Resources there is information for family and friends about depression.  Give your partner this stuff to read.  Also look under The Facts and get information for yourself.  Be as informed as possible.

Once you know how this thing works it will help you to cope and give you hope for your journey.  You can get better.

OK time to stop.  Write here as often as you need.

Regards

White Rose