Feeling trapped and alone

[TrappedAlone]

I moved states to get closer to someone I love. Initially I was going to have my own place but it fell through and I ended up living with them. Since I’ve moved in the relationship has become increasingly difficult. On average I’m told once a day that I’ve done something wrong or said something wrong.

She says the house is both of ours to live in but all the rules are hers and they seem to change sometimes too. I feel unwanted here and have not unpacked my belongings yet as it doesn’t seem like there is room for me. I clean up after myself but have been getting more and more depressed as time goes on. I want to help out more around the house but there’s been times when I go to help and get told off or I go to help and get told she’ll do it because I don’t know what I’m doing.

I feel trapped because I think it’s damaged the relationship to a point where I want to leave but if I do leave it might end it. It’s feels like I have to choose between watching an extremely slow train wreck vs blowing up the train...

I’ve made no friends since moving here and work doesn’t allow me to meet many people. I don’t know what to do anymore. Just seems to be too hard to make things work.

[Sophie_M]

Hey there, Welcome to our friendly online community, we are so glad you decided to join us here. We know it can be hard to write the first post, so thank you for having the courage.  
We are sorry to hear that you are feeling so alone right now. Moving away from our friends and family can be a very isolating experience within itself even if our relationship is going well. It can take some time to adjust and build a life in a new place. Having issues  in your relationship after you have made such a sacrifice to be with them would be very painful. 
  Please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space to talk things through and our community is here to offer as much support, advice and conversation as you need. We're sure that a lot of our community members will relate to these feelings and hopefully some of them will pop by to offer you words of wisdom and kindness. 

In the meantime, if you would like to talk through some of these feelings with a counsellor we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals. 

[TrappedAlone]

Now I can’t even come home and relax without being told I’m selfish and have no decency. I came home later than usual and just wanted to relax so just went onto my computer. Didn’t run into anyone so didn’t say hello. Now I’m apparently a bad guy and made someone feel uncomfortable because I didn’t come find them to say hello. This is killing me. I feel like I’m awful if I leave but I feel awful staying anyway.

She’s back in hospital now so now I’d really look like a terrible person if I were to leave. I’m on the verge of crying most days, some days I cry too. I’m so over feeling this way! I need help but I’ve no idea what can help. I hate this.

[quirkywords]

Trapped alone

welcome to the forum. Thanks for reaching out.

It is a difficult situation and I can sense your pain, frustration and indecision about what to do.

It seems whatever you decide you will feel bad.

You said she is back in hospital now, was she in hospital when you moved in or has been sick for a while. Is her illnes one of the reasons for her chnage in attitude towards you. ?

Sophie mentioned a helpline, would you consider contacting one as someties talking to a trained person can help you sort out your thoughts.

You are trying hard in a complicated situation and to always being criticised and made to feel like you are selfish would make anyone feel low.

Is there anyone at work , or anyone from your family or where yo used to live you could talk phone or text.

Sometimes when people are are being critical it is about them and not you. they have problems and take them out on others.

Take care and feel free to post here as you want.

[TrappedAlone]

Thanks for your reply quirkywords. She has been unwell for quite a number of years now. Part of the reason I moved was because it was very serious and I wanted to be closer.

I’ve contacted Mensline multiple times which has been good and bad at times. I’ve also seen a psychologist but it tends not to help that much.

I have no one close to me I can talk to about it and it kind of festers inside. I don’t know what to do or any idea of what could help me. Hence why I feel so trapped and alone.