Feeling lost and constantly tired

[Closettrans]

First time reach out here, really been struggling the last few months with lockdown in Melbourne, and not being able to do any fun activities. Have a great partner and an awesome 6yo son whom i adore. But since March all ive had is going to work and coming home.

I work in Construction and it has been massively busy, which is strnage in itself. But in the last month or so i have been constantly tired, not sleeping soundly and constantly angry. Id never harm myself or my family, but my anger i think is more directed at the current situation i find myself in, with Melbournes restrictions. Im not sure but i think it is Depression.
I say that because im also a partner to someone with crippling Anxiety which is medicated to allow her to live a largely normal life, but when im at work, she is at home and when she is at work im at home. We are having to do this to cover home schooling. But when she is at work the house becomes untidy, as she doesnt feel motivated to keep things tidy.

Now it is a case of i come home and spend half a day cleaning up the house before being able to relax.

To compound it all work is busy and not really being flexible to allow me to keep up,

I feel like im failing as a partner, father, and employee.

Im pondering whether my own demons are coming out too, i dont talk to my parents due to a large disagreement when my son was born. I only really talk to 1 brother and have a small circle of friends. I used to always be a happy person and nothing really got to me, i want to be back in that time, i want to be happy again. I hate this feeling

I really feel underappreciated at work, and feel like i have to be there all the time as the staff under me are all largely casual labour. I struggle with managing conflict, and almost always want to run from it, my Manager always feels the need to Micro Manage me and i resent that.

I just want to be happy and confident again

[Sophie_M]

Hey Closettrans,

Welcome to the forums, we're so grateful that you chose to reach out to our community here as we know it takes a lot of strength to share your thoughts and feelings. We're also really sorry to hear of the difficult past few months that you have been through, and how you've been impacted by this pandemic. But please know that this is a safe, non-judgemental space, and our wonderful community is here to provide you with as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

If you feel up to it, we'd also recommend reaching out to our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. This website is regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. You can also call our dedicated support line, staffed by mental health professionals, which is available 24/7 on 1800 512 348. One of the friendly counsellors will be able to offer you some support as well as advice and referrals.

You might also like to reach out to MensLine Australia which is a free 24/7 telephone and online counselling service for men with emotional health and relationship concerns. You can contact them on anytime 1300 78 99 78 or visit  https://mensline.org.au/ for online chat.

We hope that you keep checking in to let us know how you're going, whenever you feel up to it.

 

[james1]

Hey Closettrans,

Welcome to the beyondblue forums. It is very nice to meet you here, though I am sad to hear how you have been feeling in the last few months of lockdown.

It sounds like there's quite a few pressures coming onto you at the moment between your roles as a father, partner, employee and manager. I don't know much about being a father or manager, but certainly I've struggled to balance all the different obligations that life throws at us and it can get really overwhelming.

As Sophie_M mentioned, there are a lot of support lines which I have found helpful in the past. For you, it may even be helpful just to have someone to get a bunch of things off your chest. Personally, I find speaking my thoughts, rather than just thinking my thoughts, reduces their burden a little bit.

Have you ever tried giving any of the support lines a call, or have you been able to speak to anyone about how you're feeling?

James

[Closettrans]

Hey Sophie_M sorry it has been awhile since my post. Sort some help from a counsellor which helped markedly. It also brought out some other things that i posted about today elsewhere. Good to know people have your back

[Closettrans]

Thanks James, sorry about the delay getting back to you. I sort some help from a counselor its good to know there is a place that has my back

[james1]

Hello Closettrans,

Thanks for the reply! I'm glad to hear you were able to get some help.

James