Feeling lost and alone

[Coops93]

Hi,

I am at a turning point in my life where I feel as though my marriage is on its last legs and I am losing whats left of my sanity. Myself and my wife have slowly grown apart over time I have felt more as a burden than a partner. She is currently pregnant with our 3rd child. The last time we were intimate was when she fell pregnant close to 4 months ago. I have tried to talk to her about things to try and do what I can to make things better between us but nothing has worked. I was foolish and a woman who has been nice to me We had been talking nothing occurred outside of conversation. My wife has gone through my phone and basically wants me gone. I have no family or support around me I have no one to talk to. I feel the only ones that love me are my kids I can barely keep it together while I write this at work. I dont know what to do. Im lost with no help

[Sophie_M]

Hi there,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing such a brave and honest post here today. It sounds like an incredibly difficult time. This is a welcoming and supportive space, and I’m sure our community members will have lots of understanding for what you’re going through.

If you feel like talking through how your feeling, you could give the lovely Beyond Blue support service a call on 1300 22 4636, or via online chat. We’d also highly recommend reaching out to our friends over at Mensline on 1300 78 99 78 or via online chat to discuss this with them. They also have some really good advice pages on Resolving conflict and Dealing with your relationship when it’s in trouble.

A few more options are Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277, or the Family Relationships Advice Line on 1800 050 321, both of whom could be really good to talk to about how it’s all going, and how you can get things to a better place.

Thank you again for your courage and strength in sharing your story. I’m sure our lovely community members will spot it soon, but do feel free to share more about how you’re feeling in the meantime.

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[Positive_vibes89]

Hi Coops93.

You are really going through a hard time at the moment, sorry to hear this. Do you think that it is a possibility that pregnancy hormones could be playing a part here? Women go through so many hormonal changes when pregnant, which im sure you would have knowledge about as this will be your 3rd child. I feel that you could suggest couples therapy with your wife, it sounds like you need a type of mediator that can encourage conversation and be support for you both. You do need to ask yourself do you still love your wife? and if the answer is yes do everything in your power to try and fix it. Your wife has trust issues with you, have you been unfaithful towards her in the past? it could extend on the basis of that experience. In a marrige you need to be very open with your wife, if you are talking to women you should honesty tell her upfront instead of her finding out by going through your phone. Your wife would have done this because she has reason as to why she could not trust you (women have excellent intuition) and she found that you were talking to another woman. As a woman myself I can understand how she would be feeling, you were not honest by not telling her about this woman.

You need to say you are sorry, that you will cut all connections with that women and buy your wife a bunch of flowers. Tell her you love her. Im sorry if i seem to be rude, but I have first hand experience of a cheating father who was meeting up with and talking to women. Ended up leaving my mum for one. I can understand how your wife would be feeling, why does a married man feel the need to talk to another women when he is married with a baby on the way. This would cause her to think she can no longer provide you with a happy marriage or that shes no longer attractive or good enough for you. What I have said and suggested could be something to think about.

I hope you are able to mend your marrige, all the best.